Category: Sports
Open Post: Hosted By The Dog Who Tried To Compete In A Soccer Game
Sports are marred with interruptions of all kinds: poor weather, dramatic injuries, sexy streakers, and sometimes overenthusiastic dogs. A soccer match between the Chilean and Venezuelan women’s national teams experienced its own doggy disruption when large pup ran onto the field. Maybe he thought this was a big chance to show off his skills and make it into the big leagues!
Camila Cabello Got Booed By Fans At The Champions League Final And Tweeted That They Were “Very Rude”
On Saturday night, 80,000 fans arrived at the Stade de France in Paris to cheer on Camila Cabello as she performed a 5-minute medley of her biggest hits. JK, they were actually there for the 2022 UEFA Champions League football (the Ted Lasso kind, not the Superbowl kind) final between Liverpool and Real Madrid. Camila just happened to be the opening musical act. Unfortunately for many Liverpool fans, organizational fuckery and French security prevented them from entering the stadium; some were even tear-gassed outside the venue. Camila’s performance and the kick-off were delayed three times. Eventually, the UEFA decided to get on with the show, even though there were still empty seats and stranded fans. So how do we think Liverpool fans reacted to Camila Cabello’s performance? If you guessed “not well, bitch,” you would be correct. Continue reading
Aaron Rodgers Is Now The Highest Paid Player In NFL History
Now that Tom Brady is officially retired from the football, there needs to be a new grossly-overpaid quarterback in the NFL. And it looks like it’s none other than Aaron Rodgers, the man who can just as effectively throw a football as he can catch COVID. After nearly a year of some will he/won’t he antics, Aaron has decided he will continue to be a Green Bay Packer, by signing a 4-year contract to stay with the team until 2026. That contract also comes with tons of money, so much so that 38-year-old Aaron Rodgers is now the highest-paid NFL player in history.
Finnish Skier Remi Lindholm Suffered A Frozen Penis In An Olympic Race
Apparently a Winter Olympics is happening in Beijing, and on Saturday Russia’s Alexander Bolshunov won gold in the men’s 50km mass start cross-country skiing event. Except Alexander ain’t the one making headlines. Nope, that honor goes to Finnish skier Remi Lindholm, who captivated the world when he revealed that his penis froze during the race. Ahhh, NOW I have your attention!
He’s Just Not Into It: Novak Djokovic Clarified His Stance On The COVID-19 Vaccine
Finally, at long last, after weeks of suffering at the hands of THe AuTHoriTIEs, tennis star Novak Djokovic has been given leave to speak his mind! And as it turns out, as he detailed in an interview with BCC News, Novak is NOT an anti-vaxxer, despite it being so tantalizingly right there in his name. Nope. He didn’t risk being unable to use his phone for several hours during the “very, very hard” time he spent in detention after arriving in Melbourne to play in the Australian Open last month which ultimately led to his deportation. Novak says he “should not be associated with the anti-vax movement,” rather he refused to get vaccinated against COVID-19 “because the principles of decision making on my body are more important than any title or anything else,” which presumably also includes children, the elderly, and anybody else who is particularly vulnerable to the disease. So no, he’s not a loser. He’s a Goddamn hero. A hero who is willing to sacrifice Wimbledon, The French Open, and any unvaccinated rugrats who get in his way.
Hockey Player Evander Kane’s Pregnant Wife Has Accused Him Of Tanking Games For Gambling Money
Sports! Sports! Sports! Oh, you say you don’t care? Um, let’s try: Drama! Drama! Drama! San Jose Sharks (apparently it’s a hockey team) sports player Evander Kane is in big shit after his wife, Anna Kane, took to Instagram to accuse him of abandoning her, their toddler, and their unborn child to party it up in Europe with his ex-girlfriend. Meanwhile, the bank is taking the house Anna currently lives in because Evander is a gambling addict… who Anna says allegedly bet on his own NHL games and then threw them to make money. Tiger Woods better watch his ass, there might be a new contender for Shittiest Sports Husband!