Category: Spanks A Lot

Goop’s Holiday Gift Guide Features A BDSM Starter Kit And Designer Toilet Paper

November 18, 2019 / Posted by:

This holiday season, Gwyneth Paltrow is promoting pain. But you can relax your jade egg hole, the pain’s not for you. It’s for your loved one! Perhaps inspired by her sister-in-law, BDSM aficionado Dakota Johnson, the crown jewel in Goop’s Holiday Gift Guide for 2019 is a $1,350 “restraining arts kit”. The kit includes leather restraints and a “leather bound paddle”. And if getting beaten red with an overpriced ping-pong paddle (trust me, an $8 paddle from Dick’s Sporting Goods works just fine) isn’t punishment enough for your ass, Gwyneth also recommends a $35 pack of bamboo toilet paper that comes in “chic dark floral packaging”. Destroying vaginas is so last year. In 2020, Gwyneth’s coming for all your asses!

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Stormy Daniels Reportedly Spanked Trump With A Copy Of Forbes Magazine At His Behest

January 19, 2018 / Posted by:

More details are emerging about the alleged affair between Donald J. Trump and porn star Stormy Daniels. Mother Jones has a delightful breakdown of the the road that’s led us to the frightening place we are today; having a mental image of the President of these United States getting his ass pinked by a porn star with a copy of Forbes Magazine. Yep, that’s something we all share now!

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