Another round of hacked Sony emails were leaked on Thursday, and Radar says that one of them contained a whole lot of information about herpes, specifically how Sony is nervous as fuck about spreading that shit around. Sony is your high school sex-ed teacher. One of the documents that was leaked was a “Cold Sore Questionnaire“, seen partly above. If an actor wanted to get insurance for a Sony film shoot, they were required to fill out the CSQ and declare any and all cold sores, aka Herpes Simplex 1.
You can see a more up-close version of Sony’s CSQ here, but this is mostly what Sony needed to know: If the actor has a cold sore, how long it’s been there, how long they last, what triggers their cold sores, what medication they’re taking to kill that sucker, and what their role in the movie is. I’m shocked that those gossipy tricks at Sony didn’t also ask who they got it from.
Radar also says that included with the CSQ were some blind item-worthy bits of correspondence between Sony higher-ups regarding actors who refused to sign the CSQ. According to one email chain, Sony learned while prepping for the release of Aloha that one actor was taking Abbreva, which is not a prescription medication. The insurance company then told Sony they would have to update that actor’s CSQ by checking off the boxes saying they were taking medication. A “very well-known A-list actor” flat-out refused to fill out the CSQ, which left Sony and the insurance company freaking out. And an “Academy Award-winning actress in her late 50s” promised on her CSQ that she’d take medication to make sure she doesn’t get a mouth full of sores during shooting.
That is so much attention Sony is paying to cold cores. I wonder if they have one person who looks after it all, like a Head of Cold Sore Prevention or something. Hmmm…maybe that’s why Lindsay Lohan has trouble getting film work? No, of course not; Lindsay Lohan is probably the only human on the planet who has built up an immunity to the herpes virus. Even the strongest, most potent strain of herpes is no match for the toxic virus-destroying self-tanner residue running through her veins.
One of the Shhhh…It’s a Hollywood secrets that was revealed during the most recent Sony email leak was that Ben Affleck, the humanized version of freshly-AXE’d balls jangling around in a pair of gym shorts, had not-so-sneakily tried to get Henry Louis Gates Jr. of the PBS program Finding Your Roots to take a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to his family tree and scrub off the branch containing a slave owner.
Of course, his plan backfired, and now we all know. But rather than send out a mass email to the whole world asking everyone to “do Batman a solid, bro” and mentally delete everything they know about his shady ancestor, Ben Affleck decided to address the messy situation yesterday on Facebook. Batman still wants you to forget about his slave-owning great-great-great-great whatever, bro, but he also wants you to know he’s sorry for how he handled the whole thing with Finding Your Roots.
Thanks to the final round of leaked Sony emails that hit the internet on Thursday, we now know that one of the branches on Ben Affleck’s family tree contains slave owners. Something that, in a weird ironic twist, Ben Affleck tried desperately to hide during the filming of an episode of the PBS genealogy program Finding Your Roots. Wait – is that irony, or just shitty luck? Either way, Fred O’Bannion didn’t want anyone to know about his slave-owning relatives, and now we know. So whatever the word for that is, it’s that.
According to an email thread from July 2014 between Sony’s Michael Lynton and host Henry Louis Gates Jr., Ben Affleck had agreed to appear on Finding Your Roots, but he didn’t want them to find all his roots, so he asked producers to exclude the part about his family’s slave-owning ancestry. Unfortunately, Henry Louis Gates Jr. wasn’t so keen on the idea of hitting ctrl+alt+delete on his past, because in his words, “once we open the door to censorship, we lose control of the brand.” He also never refers to Ben Affleck by name, but by “Batman.” Somewhere in Gotham City, Bruce Wayne just started nervously scrolling through the Ancestry.com profile Alfred set up for him.
WikiLeaks gathered us all around the Christmas tree yesterday and gave us the gift of thousands of emails from the Sony Hack that the government says North Korea was behind. WikiLeaks said they dropped all of the emails in a database on their site for the public to see, because the original archives were not searchable and so reporters were barely able to scratch the surface. Julian Assange said that this shit is extremely newsworthy and should be in the public domain. So they put all of the emails in a searchable database. It’s like Google’s gossiping auntie. WikiLeaks didn’t just spill the tea, they tipped over an entire Celestial Seasonings factory. Sony, of course, is spitting on WikiLeaks for bringing their private emails out in the open.
If Amy and I were playing a game of charades, I’d scream, “Me the time I was on acid and thought I could make bubbles with my hands.”
Former Sony co-chairman Amy Pascal talked with Tina Brown at the Women in the World conference in San Francisco yesterday and of course the Sony Hack was brought up. Amy said that she was shown the exit door because of the Sony Hack and then got into specific shit that came out in the emails. If you want to see the whole talk, click here for the video. Amy Pascal is giving me “Peg from Lady and the Tramp on Valium and wine” during that interview. After the cut are a few things that Amy said about the Sony Hack.
The most frequently-mentioned name in December’s dishy leaked Sony email scandal, Amy Pascal (seen above serving up some white hot Jerri Blank-meets-Big Business realness), has announced today that she’ll be stepping down from her position as co-chairman of Sony Pictures. Amy has been with Sony since 1988, but I guess after a year filled with more back-stabbing and cattiness than a group of middle school girls whose names all end in -leigh, she decided to call it quits. Although she hasn’t officially quit Sony altogether; Deadline says she’s launching a production company within Sony that will focus on movie, TV, and theatre.
Meanwhile, no word on what’s happening with Angelina Jolie’s other nemesis at Sony, Scott Rudin, but it’s probably safe to assume that he’s not going anywhere and he’s already started working on his next volume of bitchy email poetry for Amy’s replacement.
Amy hasn’t said whether or not that messy Sony hack and the resulting leaked email drama is the reason she’s backing away from her desk as co-chairman, but I’m an irrational hot head who likes to point fingers, so I’m saying yes, it totally did, and it’s all that troublemaking trick James Franco’s fault for making The Interview! If he and Seth Rogen had focused their energy into making an unauthorized Freaks and Geeks spin-off about the wacky adventures of Daniel Desario and Ken Miller instead of making a movie that would piss off the angry Korea and make them leak Sony’s email secrets and cause St. Angie to stare deep into Amy Pascal’s eyes and damn her for all eternity, Amy Pascal wouldn’t be in this mess. And that, my friends, is what’s known as flawless logic.
Here’s James Franco arriving in Berlin yesterday. I hope he sends Amy Pascal a muffin basket that says “Sorry?” as well as a 1st draft of that Freaks and Geeks movie I really want to see: