Category: Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara Hustled Her Way To Being The Highest Paid TV Actress Of 2017

September 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Forbes has spoken and Sofia Vergara is still the reigning queen of getting those duckets! She’s been named the highest paid TV actress of 2017 proving once again, immigrants, they get the job done. This makes six years in a row that Sofia’s been the richest bitch in the TV game.

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Ariel Winter Managed To Get Two Times The Attention At The Emmys

September 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.

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Sofia Vergara’s Creepster Ex Got Shut Down In Louisiana Court

August 26, 2017 / Posted by:

That’s not her ex, but it ain’t far off. The oddest combination of gold digger/faux pro-lifer/aspiring geneticist, Onion Crunch tycoon Nick Loeb, has been trying to nab custody of frozen pre-embryos “Emma” and “Isabelle” (yes, eggs are named now) since his split from the Joe Manganiello-blessed Sofia Vergara. Well, Nick’s attempt at suing her for custody in the pro-life skewing state of Louisiana has failed; he was recently told to legally fuck off by a Louisiana judge.

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Nick Loeb Thought It Was “Classless” For Sofia Vergara To Speak Spanish Around Him 

March 24, 2017 / Posted by:

The dumb battle between Sofia Vergara and her chunky skid mark of an ex, Nick Loeb, is still going on. Nick is suing Sofia for the right to implant their frozen embryos (that were made when they were together) into a leased baby oven. Sofia wants the embryos to stay frozen. Nick’s lawsuit was originally filed in California, but last year he re-filed it in Louisiana and probably because it’s an “embryo safe haven” and he has a better chance at winning there. The Daily Beast says that the Onion Crunch mogul filed more papers in court. These latest papers are supposed to show what the problems in their relationship were. They also show what an ass he is.

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Thankfully A Bit More Effort Was Put Into The Fashions After The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that. 

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Sofia Vergara Is Trying Once Again To Keep Nick Loeb Away From Their Embryos

February 15, 2017 / Posted by:

The battle between Sofia Vergara and her ex Nick Loeb over their frozen embryos has been going on so long that their embryos are probably covered in two-inches of freezer burn at this point. I honestly have no idea how freezing embryos works, and that’s “probably” not what happens. All I really know is that it sounds like Sofia might have found a way to finally end their fight.

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