Oh they’re all smiling now. But just wait until one of them gets a script that’s only two pages long and a note for makeup that reads: “Corpse-y, but not like, ghoulish.”
Modern Family is rumored to be ending after its tenth or possibly eleventh season. Show creators Steve Levitan and Christopher Lloyd said at the beginning of this year that they’d like the show to leave on a huge ratings-grabbing high note, like a birth, a death, or a wedding. I was hoping the show would end with Haley Dunphy reuniting with her older, denim-slinging dirtbag boyfriend Kenny and getting married in matching jean outfits. But it looks like they’re going with a death, and it’s going to happen sooner than at the end of the series.
Sofia Vergara’s slimy ex Nick Loeb recently moved to Louisiana in what was a blatant attempt to convince the mostly pro-life state to hand over the frozen embryos he’s been chasing for over three years now. But he can’t possibly be spending all his free time trying to get his frozen embryos Emma and Isabelle. As it turns out, he’s been killing time putting the $ in $hameless by making an anti-abortion movie in Louisiana.
When we last left Nick Loeb and Sofia Vergara’s battle for their frozen embryos (named Emma and Isabelle by him), he was trying to increase his chances by moving their fight from California to the much more pro-life state of Louisiana. Nick had also claimed that a trust was set up in Louisiana in Emma and Isabelle’s name, and that they were being cheated out of that money unless he could find a surrogate and turn them into humans. Louisiana, on the other hand, saw right through Nick’s plan and told him the embryos clearly had no ties to the state, and told him to pound sand. Nick was well within his rights to re-file his lawsuit against Sofia, which he did in March, but he took it one step further.
Your aunt Patty’s favorite show, Modern Family, is celebrating its 200th episode and contemplating the end of the road as it limps its way through its 9th season. And The Hollywood Reporter says that season 10 will probably be the last. That’s sad news for the ridiculously well paid cast. How will Ariel Winter afford the modesty pixels she has to carry with her at all times?
This story will likely enrage Sofia Vergara’s husband Joe Manganiello. Joe should absolutely don his skimpiest thong and pose for some sweaty snaps by the pool before he goes to confront her. Real Housewives of New Jersey convicted criminal and Quest For Fire stand-in Teresa Giudice took part in a Real Housewives panel discussion (was it at MIT?), and took the opportunity to go after Modern Family actress Sofia Veraga. TMZ says that she felt it necessary to refer to Sofia as “an immigrant,” while also opining on how immigrants should conduct themselves in this country. Yes, this panel discussion must have taken place at either MIT or Oxford. Continue reading
When 29-year-old Colton Haynes got engaged to his 46-year-old flower daddy Jeff Leatham (he’s a floral designer), it was a big, gay extravaganza complete with fireworks, drama and an appearance by Cher. So when I heard they were getting married this weekend, I prepared to explode into a tornado of glitter from the glorious gayness of their wedding. I expected to see Barbra Streisand softly yodel out Evergreen while officiating their ceremony from a giant crystal swan covered with rhinestone-encrusted white orchids imported from Thailand. But I guess all their money was spent on the engagement ceremony, because they had to settle for Pimp Mama Kris as their officiant.