Category: Sofia Vergara

“Modern Family” Will Likely End After Next Year’s Season 10

January 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Your aunt Patty’s favorite show, Modern Family, is celebrating its 200th episode and contemplating the end of the road as it limps its way through its 9th season. And The Hollywood Reporter says that season 10 will probably be the last. That’s sad news for the ridiculously well paid cast. How will Ariel Winter afford the modesty pixels she has to carry with her at all times?

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“RHONJ’s” Teresa Giudice Dragged Sofia Vergara For Being An “Immigrant”

October 31, 2017 / Posted by:

This story will likely enrage Sofia Vergara’s husband Joe Manganiello. Joe should absolutely don his skimpiest thong and pose for some sweaty snaps by the pool before he goes to confront her. Real Housewives of New Jersey convicted criminal and Quest For Fire stand-in Teresa Giudice took part in a Real Housewives panel discussion (was it at MIT?), and took the opportunity to go after Modern Family actress Sofia Veraga. TMZ says that she felt it necessary to refer to Sofia as “an immigrant,” while also opining on how immigrants should conduct themselves in this country. Yes, this panel discussion must have taken place at either MIT or Oxford. Continue reading

Colton Haynes And Jeff Leatham Got Married By Pimp Mama Kris

October 28, 2017 / Posted by:

When 29-year-old Colton Haynes got engaged to his 46-year-old flower daddy Jeff Leatham (he’s a floral designer), it was a big, gay extravaganza complete with fireworks, drama and an appearance by Cher. So when I heard they were getting married this weekend, I prepared to explode into a tornado of glitter from the glorious gayness of their wedding. I expected to see Barbra Streisand softly yodel out Evergreen while officiating their ceremony from a giant crystal swan covered with rhinestone-encrusted white orchids imported from Thailand. But I guess all their money was spent on the engagement ceremony, because they had to settle for Pimp Mama Kris as their officiant.

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Sofia Vergara Hustled Her Way To Being The Highest Paid TV Actress Of 2017

September 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Forbes has spoken and Sofia Vergara is still the reigning queen of getting those duckets! She’s been named the highest paid TV actress of 2017 proving once again, immigrants, they get the job done. This makes six years in a row that Sofia’s been the richest bitch in the TV game.

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Ariel Winter Managed To Get Two Times The Attention At The Emmys

September 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.

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Sofia Vergara’s Creepster Ex Got Shut Down In Louisiana Court

August 26, 2017 / Posted by:

That’s not her ex, but it ain’t far off. The oddest combination of gold digger/faux pro-lifer/aspiring geneticist, Onion Crunch tycoon Nick Loeb, has been trying to nab custody of frozen pre-embryos “Emma” and “Isabelle” (yes, eggs are named now) since his split from the Joe Manganiello-blessed Sofia Vergara. Well, Nick’s attempt at suing her for custody in the pro-life skewing state of Louisiana has failed; he was recently told to legally fuck off by a Louisiana judge.

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