Selena Gomez Yanked At Justin Bieber’s Diaper On Letterman Last Night

Selena Gomez was on the Late Show last night to promote Vice Magazine: The Movie (aka Spring Breakers) and David Letterman asked her about a certain superstar fetus who was once the Vili Fualaau to her Mary Kay Letourneau. Selena said that she’s completely single and then she poured a little salt on the Biebs’ diaper rash. Letterman and Selena’s conversation about the Biebs went like this:

Letterman: Do you date, do you go out and see, are you dating boys now?

Selena: No, not yet.

Letterman: Now I remember the last time you were here you were with a Justin Bieber.

Selena: I was with “a” Justin Bieber?

Letterman: Yeah, you were with a Justin Bieber. That’s not going on now?

Selena: No, I’m single. I’m so good.

Letterman. Good. I think you’re fine. The last time he was on, he and I got into a conversation and he said something and I said something and he said something and I said something, and I made him cry.

Selena: Well, then that makes two of us.

Way to ruin Justin Bieber’s reputation as the thug leader of Hood Rat Stuff Nation, Selena Gomez. Selena just had to let us know that the Biebs started bawling when she put his hand on her lady boob for the first time. Selena definitely gets points for that Bieber burn, but she loses points for wearing a figure skater’s mourning outfit out in public.

Amy Poehler Responds To Taylor Swift Damning Her To Hell (UPDATE: Tina Responded Too!)

A special place in hell became my #1 “I want to go to there” place today when Taylor Swift condemned Tina Fey and Amy Poehler there because Tina made fun of her ass at the Golden Globes. Taylor told Vanity Fair that there’s a special place in Hades for women who don’t help other women and she was obviously talking about Tina and Amy. Amy took a little break from buying SPF and a water bottle hat for her special trip to hell to give The Hollywood Reporter her thoughts on what that shade-throwing bird girl said about her and Tina. Amy said this:

“Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. “

Yes, that response was on the right side of classy and it was also smart, because the IRS is laughing at it while Amy secretly moves some of her money to off-shore accounts. But this not the response I wanted! I wanted Amy to slick her hair back in a bun, stick razors in her hair, put on all her rings, get in her car, pick up Tina Fey and drive to Taylor Swift’s house to jump that bitch for talking shit. Handle it Mi Vida Loca style.

But really, Amy’s response was perfect and had the perfect touch of shade in it.

UPDATE: Tina Fey said this to ET about Taylor wishing her to hell and it’s best if you picture Tina saying this while she’s greasing up her face and pulling her hair back, “If anyone was going to get mad at us, I thought it would be James Cameron. I did not see that one coming. It was a joke, it was a lighthearted joke.”