Perma-troll Azealia Banks decided to cap off everyone’s dismal 2016 by Snapchatting evidence that she’s been sacrificing chickens in her home for several years under the auspices of religion. You can watch THAT authentic-looking mess here.
Ringing in the new year isn’t going to be very jubilant for wig-faced superstar pop songstress Sia.
TMZ is reporting that the woman who has written pretty much every song you’ve heard on pop radio in the last several years, has officially filed for divorce from her husband, Erik Lang.
Sure, dried drop of urethral pus Donald Trump mouth shat up another batshit crazy dingle today when he called for Russia to hack Hillary Clinton, but here at Dlisted, we only post about the most important political news, so here’s the video of a bunch of famous and famous-esque people singing Rachel Platten’s little-known, unheard pop single “Fight Song.”
Jabba the Trump had the USA Freedom Kids (whose manager is threatening to throw a lawsuit at the Trump campaign for violating an agreement) and Hillary Clinton has a bunch of celebrities singing “Fight Song” on the old set of The Branchy Bunch’s intro. The Los Angeles Times says that Elizabeth Banks put together as many pro-Hillary celebs as she could to sing in a video for the DNC. The likes of Aisha Tyler, Mandy Moore, Rob Reiner, Connie Britton, Kathy Najimy, Julie Bowen, Hana Mae Lee, America Ferrera, John Michael Higgins, Kristen Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Billy Porter, Sia, Dollar Tree Victorian cameo Jaime King (who really, really took it seriously) and a bunch of others warbled out a cover of “Fight Song” that made my face contort into the cringe position. I cringed, cringed and cringed some more.
For the first minute, I thought to myself, “You all are NOT helping!”, but that all changed when the music stopped and Jane Fonda talk-sang for her life!
Leave it to Jane Fonda to save it all. But if you watched that video above, you know that Jane wasn’t the only one who really delivered. About 90 seconds in, Ellen Greene (aka Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors) popped up in impeccable Louise Brooks cosplay and delivered a stirring, raw and melodramatic re-telling of “Fight Song.” That is how it’s done.
God, I love theater people.
Let me preface this read by stating I am sitting here in an Old Navy tee I probably bought in 2008 and ill-fitting jeans from Target. (I originally had on some Yeezy Season 3 but I changed.) Now that I’ve admitted that I am the sartorial equivalent of Applebees, let’s proceed.
Fresh from wearing my dog to the Adele concert on Friday night, Katy Perry showed up to the Creators Party at LA’s Cicada last night dressed like this. She probably should have moved on to my other dog cuz’ this is a right mess. She looks like a low-rent drag princess evoking Erotica-era Madge on a budget. That’s ok for a drag princess but this one has “Firework” money.
The real look last night was Elle King’s ginger date dressed like a hipster equestrian. That’s what you go out in. Not Gay Bavaria.
Check out more pics from the Creators Party in the gallery below. Please pay special attention to Sia because that’s obviously what she’s looking for.
Because I don’t love myself (and also because I misplaced my memory stick containing all 8 episodes of Anchorwoman), I watched Presidential hopeful Donald Trump host Saturday Night Live last night. And I’m sure if you also made the mistake of watching, there’s a 100% chance you’re yelling “Oh my god, that goddamn laser harp sketch” at your screen right now. Because yeah, that goddamn laser harp sketch. I still can’t with that laser harp sketch. I swear to god, about 3 seconds into that laser harp sketch, I started praying that one of those lasers would magically shoot into my brain and wipe away the memory of watching Donald Trump try to act.
To be honest, I was expecting more of a shit-show than what we actually got. Sadly, what we actually got was 12 minutes of Donald Trump squinting at the cue-cards like a near-sighted rotten circus peanut that pretty much everyone hated. We also got Larry David (who came back to do Bernie Sanders better than the real Bernie Sanders does Bernie Sanders) calling Donald Trump a “racist“ from the audience, but because Lorne Michaels is trolling at an expert level (see: having Donald Trump host), there’s a 99.99999999% chance that was a staged bit. But other than that, my brain was hating me every moment I didn’t reach for the remote and search for a rerun of Pick A Puppy.
But in the event you’re not totally over Hotline Bling parodies, then I have some good news: they did parody Drake’s dad-dancing in the Hotline Bling video.
Yes, that was Martin Short as Ed Grimley making an appearance at the 1:13 mark, which honestly was just about the most infuriating part of the whole night. You mean to tell me they had life legend Martin Short there the whole time, and they went with Donald Trump??? If they were really that hard up for a smarmy dude with weird-looking fluffy white hair to host the show, I’m sure Martin Short would have gladly pulled his old Jackie Rogers Jr. wig out of storage and stuck around.
Here’s more of Donald Trump (you’re like “Yeah, nobody asked for more Donald Trump“) leaving the SNL afterparty last night, as well as musical guest Sia, Larry David, Bill O’Reilly, and Donald’s “third wife” (copyright: Ivana Trump) Melania.
Pics: NBC, Splash
NBC announced that angry clump of guinea pig hair Donald Trump will host an entire episode of Saturday Night Live on November 7th. Remember a few months ago when NBC dumped Trump because of the shit he said about Mexican immigrants? It’s nice to see that the Peacock has shoved its tongue up Trump’s b-hole again for the sake of a ratings stunt. That’s the bad news (or the BEST news if you are a fuckery lover like me). The worst news is that the musical guest for that episode isn’t the graceful swan Melania Trump. I would fully embrace a Trump-hosted SNL if the musical guest was Melania Trump and she just emoted and cooed for 5 minutes straight. The musical guest will be Sia. I hope they trade hair for the night. via The Wrap
The appearance will actually mark the second hosting stint on the late-night show for Trump, who also held down hosting duties on April 3, 2004.
The musical guest for the episode will be Sia, who’s preparing to release her new album “This Is Acting,” which features the single “Alive.”
Please tell me that Donald Trump will announce on Saturday Night Live that his entire campaign has been a really elaborate marketing stunt to promote his episode. But really, Trump hosting SNL is redundant since his entire campaign so far has been one long skit. Exhibit: A