And no, it’s not a documentary or PSA about the dangers of being a complete asshole. Well, not in the technical sense; it does appear to be a movie about rich assholes.
Variety reports that Mel Gibson, hot on the heels of a (checks notes) Santa Claus movie (???) and Shia LaBeouf, who recently played his own greasy dad, have signed on to an upcoming film called Rothchild. It’s already causing problems, and not for the reasons you might immediately assume when reading a story about Mel Gibson or Shia LaBeouf.
Megan Fox was on Watch What Happens Live last night, and Andy Cohen put her up to a game of Plead the Fifth. Megan didn’t plead the fifth once, because clearly Megan is an open book with no secrets. Andy’s second question to Megan was about a 2011 Details magazine interview Shia LaBeouf gave, in which he pretty heavily implied that he and his Transformers co-star Megan might have been rocking trailers on set.
When we last heard about the goings-on of Shia LaBeouf’s peen, he was happily spreading his dick cheese all over the loins of his maybe-fake wife, Emily the Strange’s eyebrow-deficient cousin Mia Goth. Shia (seen above looking freshly power washed by a Hazmat worker) and Mia are apparently done with making the pretentious hipster angels cry with happiness by bumping fuck parts, and he’s now making the pretentious hipster angels cry with happiness by bumping fuck parts with FKA Twigs. Sorry, Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo, but your title as history’s most famous artiste couple has been snatched away by these two gifts to HIGH ART!
This Open Post is coming at you all a little early, because I want to welcome Dlisted’s two newest writers, Kristian and Jovi. Starting today, Kristian is helping out this summer during the weekdays because Mieka is taking a little time off to write a porn novel about Stanley Tucci as an escort whose speciality is fucking women in the cooch with his peen head. Jovi is going to help J. Harvey out on the weekends starting on June 23rd. And as they do that, I’m still working on the Dlisted podcast, which is turning out to be like my dad on my birthday: never going to show up! No, it’s coming very soon, but also like my dad, it’s only going to disappoint you. But I’ll save that talk for my therapist.
The Beef is back, ya’ll! And surprise, surprise; he’s doing some meta artsy-farty movie in which he plays his own dad. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Shia LaBeouf is filming a movie called Honey Boy (his dad’s nickname for him), which he wrote, and is playing a character based on his father, Jeffrey Craig LaBeouf. Jeffrey apparently is among the follically challenged so, Shia being Shia, sports a partially shaved his head and goober glasses for the role.
In the summer of 2017, Shia LaBeouf was arrested for disorderly conduct in Savannah, Georgia, where he was filming a movie. During his arrest, he hissed a plethora of racial and sexist insults to the police. Shia is finally talking about the shit buffet he served up during his arrest, and a now-sober Shia is really ashamed of what he did.