Hasn’t La Lucci been through enough?!!?!
The universe can go tongue fuck a sloppy ass, because it has not been good to flawless human diamond Susan Lucci lately. First, we were at risk of the sun never coming out again, because the sun only comes out to gaze upon La Lucci and she almost died last year! Second, she graciously volunteered her precious time by walking in a fashion show for the American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women charity, which she’s a spokesperson for, and La Lucci nearly broke her La Cucci when she went BOOM on the catwalk. The universe must be a Days of Our Lives fan.
Sherri Shepherd was on The Breakfast Club last week and she had some interesting things to say. And by ‘interesting things to say’ I mean ‘mostly coherent noise to fart out’. While speaking with hosts Charlamagne Tha God and Angela Yee, Sherri made the revelation that her 13-year-old son Jeffrey doesn’t like black girls.
Ebony reports that Sherri has herself a race problem in her very own home. She explained that Jeffrey–who goes to a predominantly white school– has apparently had not great experiences with the few black girls who he interacts with, claiming they are “mean”. I’m pretty sure those white girls aren’t all smiles and sugarcanes either, my little man. Continue reading
Sherri Shepherd has finally scored a few points against her ex-husband Lamar Sally at his get-money game. Last month, Lamar went to a judge and asked for more child support money for Lamar Sally Jr., the 2-year-old surrogate-carried son that Sherri has tried repeatedly to legally wash her hands of. Lamar was getting $4,100 a month for Lamar Jr., but once he found out that Sherri might have gotten herself a higher-paying job, he decided he needed more. Lamar didn’t say how much more he needed, but it doesn’t matter, because he’s not going to get it.
There it is, the more obvious headline I’ve ever written, because of course Sherri Shepherd’s grifty ex-husband Lamar Sally wants more child support money. That’s like saying a dog wants to sniff more dog butts.
Welcome to 2016, Sherri Shepherd’s extremely-messy surrogate baby custody situation. The last time we checked in on Lamar Sally, Sherri Shepherd’s shameless ex-husband and father of the surrogate baby they had made while they were married, he was still cashing child support checks from Sherri to the tune of $4100 a month. The baby named Lamar Jr. was made with Lamar’s sperm but not with Sherri’s egg. Just in case you forgot, this was a baby Sherri didn’t want and tried really, really hard to walk away from. Basically, it was a goddamn mess. Apparently it’s going to keep being a mess, because a judge has ordered Sherri to keep those child support checks coming.
Page Six says that Sherri was in a Pennsylvania court earlier today to appeal a ruling that declared her the mother of Lamar Jr. Sadly for Sherri’s checking account, a judge took her appeal and dumped it in the trash. Apparently, the lower court ruling in Sherri and Lamar’s case is the first to declare surrogacy contracts binding in Pennsylvania. So unless she can find a dictionary that defines the word “binding” as “involving an obligation that cannot be broken unless you beg really really hard“, then she’s out of luck.
As for Sherri’s relationship with the child she’s spending $49,200 a year on, Lamar Sally’s lawyer says she has never seen him. I know the judge legally declared that Sherri is Lamar Jr.’s mommy, but technically it sounds more like a Tooth Fairy situation. I mean, she’s a lady who Lamar Jr. has never seen who magically makes money appear. Except she doesn’t get any teeth out of it. And she could probably use some new teeth, since I bet she grinds another layer off her own every time she writes one of those $4100 checks.
In case you’re following the revolving door that is The View, ABC announced today that Joy Behar will make her triumphant return and joining her next season will be Candace Cameron Bure and Paula Faris of Good Morning America Weekend. Starting in September, those three will sit next to Whoopi Goldberg, Raven Symone and Michelle Collins. I also heard that ABC is going to replace the table with a cage, so that none of them can escape as they eat each other alive.
Last month, there were rumors that DJ Tanner and Paula Faris were in talks to join The View full-time. Producers wanted Paula, because she’s a news person and they wanted DJ Tanner, because their mouths salivated over all the attention they got for a clip of her and Raven fighting about a lesbian wedding cake. There was also a rumor that producers were trying to get Joy. Joy admitted that she was in talks, but said that a deal fell through, because producers refused to give her more power and a bigger role. Either Joy was lying or the producers eventually gave her what she wanted.
As expected, the producers have also put together a group of subs who will fill in whenever a regular is out. That group includes Sherri Shepherd, Stacy London, Molly Sims, political commentator Ana Navarro and Padma Lakshmi.
To those of us who still watch this wreck, are we taking bets on who will be out first? I’m going to go with Joy and Raven. Their heads will pop off as soon as DJ Tanner opens her mouth while discussing Christian persecution.
And there comes a time in every American woman’s life when she becomes a co-host on The View. I’m going to call my mom now and congratulate her about being named a co-host on The View and when she says, “But I’m not,” I’ll say, “But you will be….soon.“