Advance apologies to our British readers, but I don’t know who any of your “celebrities” are unless they are Dames, Sirs, Katie Price or Idris Elba. I may have no idea who Rita Ora is, but ya’ll sure do know how to put the “F” in Fashion (if the F stands for “fuck is this?”). The Brit Awards, Britain’s equivalent to The Grammys, were last night and apparently, the theme for the red carpet was “Party at Party City“. There were enough pinatas, clown suits, vinyl tablecloths, crepe paper ruffles, and discounted Halloween costumes on display to stock every single party store in Britain for the next millennium. Above is noted (somewhere) fabric sculptor and designer Daniel Lismore, who’s ready to serve as the punch bowl at your next Luau/Red Wedding themed get-together.
Advertorial stunt queen Calvin Klein is no dummy when it comes to selecting the right model at the right time to shill his panties and scents. This is the same company who put Marky Mark up there in his drawers for the millisecond that he was hot until he, unfortunately, opened his mouth and spoke words, and we all learned about his racist attack. CK’s latest pick is Shawn Mendes. 20-year-old Shawn Mendes would seem to have figured out how to remove his clothing finally, and he’s sitting around in his boxer briefs for Calvin.
The American Music Awards doesn’t have the respectability of the Grammys or the pizazz of the MTV VMAs, but it’s got…well, it’s got a pointy award and people that show up, and that’s all you really need for a music award show. As such, guests still put in some effort for the red carpet. Post Malone’s hair is still a mess and he’s got those “Yes I’ve been slowly picking off my Shellac manicure” nails, but he also came through with a bedazzled belt buckle and nudie suit made by Union Western Clothing featuring his initials and several snakes. I guess he didn’t get the memo that Taylor Swift had the whole snake thing locked down last night. Oh well, it still pulled his whole look together. That is, if he was going for a look that tells people he’s a very successful businessman who sells snakes at an Alabama swap meet.
Many in the audience probably chose to believe that slobbered over pop star Shawn Mendes was just teasing them by prolonging the removal of his shirt. Unfortunately, the GIF has been studied by our experts and it turns out that Mendes is just as awkward as the rest of us. Twitter gave us this lovely GIF of Mendes trying to get his shirt off to get the girls a little sweatier but encountering a wardrobe malfunction. This is all of us who wore a shirt where the sleeves were a little too tight and it caused a wrestling match with ourselves to escape it.
What’s funny about this is that his band just sort of stares at him. He must be a real diva asshole to them if they watched him embarrass himself and did him like that. “This dopey bitch,” the dude with the white mini-upright bass probably thought and laughed on the inside.
— kt (@crazyIive) September 6, 2018
The Billboard Music Awards were last night and if the red carpet is any indication, it lived up to it’s name because most stars looked as bored as can be. With very few exceptions, most of the night’s looks were uninspired and devoid of whimsy. Nick Jonas (above) looks like he just showed up for his shift at Applebees and still needs to go get his flair from his locker and take a quick shot at the bar before getting started. He’ll be with you in a minute, ok?
The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.