Grab your penchant for white wine and cover-ups for MURDER because the ladies of Monterey are coming back. HBO officially picked up Big Little Lies for another season.
This should come as a shock to no one since every member of the cast, including Miss “I’d Rather Be Reading” Shailene Woodley, was on board to return. Rumors had been percolating for a while that the network was ready to greenlight a second season since they have to figure out how to stay ahead in the Emmy game once Game Of Thrones goes off the air. And since Reese Witherspoon would love nothing more than to have an Emmy of her own to pose with in her Crate and Barrel ads.
Big Little Lies walked away with a closetful of Emmys this year, and HBO did the wise thing and decided to let everyone appreciate it for the art it was and tucked it away in the vault next to The Sopranos. Kidding, they’re totally bringing it back for a second season. Continue reading
We may not know much about Shailene Woodley’s new gentleman friend but I hope he likes furry, tanned and 100% organic vagina because that’s what he’s getting. Shailene has been playing coy and teasing fans with suggestive posts on Instagram that hint that she may be flaying footsie with a fella without revealing his identity. But E! News is convinced that it’s Fijian footballer Ben Volavola. Look out, Shailene’s got a new bone in her broth!
While there’s nothing wrong with being a book lover, there is something a tad…off…if you show up to the Emmy Awards as a nominee and announce you don’t have time for the boob tube since you’re too busy being nose deep in the latest Nancy Drew mystery to catch up on Westworld. Of course, this did not strike Miss Shailene Woodley as absurd when she decided to take a night off from eating insects and clay in the Shire to show up to last night’s Emmy Awards.
Big Little Lies‘ finale aired last night and that’s supposed to be that. Most of the questions were answered, and I say “most,” because they didn’t answer two of my most important questions: 1. Why didn’t anyone dress as Audrey Hepburn in Bloodline (her most glamorous look) to that Audrey/Elvis party? And 2. Is Ziggy’s auntie Eleven from Stranger Things, because those two are definitely related.
Big Little Lies was always meant to be a limited-run miniseries, but since it’s a critical and ratings hit, and Nicole Kidman will probably win every award imaginable, there’s been talk about HBO bringing it back for a second season. Jean-Marc Vallée, who directed all seven episodes, doesn’t think they should continue the story, but Reese Witherspoon (who will always be Laura Jeanne Poon to me) and Nicole Kidman do. Oh, I thought of a third question that wasn’t answered. Are Madeline and Ed secretly Monterey’s biggest drug kingpins, because how else can they afford that beach house on a part-time community theater manager and web designer’s salaries? If they do more episodes, they better answer that.
Shailene Woodley and her sun-dappled vagina found themselves in steel bracelets last October when they were arrested for protesting the Dakota Access Pipeline.
People is reporting that the celebrity woodland nymph won’t have to serve any jail time, as her lawyers struck a plea bargain for her. This is too bad, because the yard at a women’s prison seems like the optimal place to sun your vagine. Your crotch receives the vitamin D that your crazy limousine hippie mind thinks it requires, AND it’s the perfect way to let your fellow convicts know that you’re open to a jailhouse relationship with which to kill the time. Continue reading