Category: Sexy Times
Open Post: Hosted By One Gorilla Giving Oral To Another Gorilla At The Bronx Zoo
The New York Post says that two Bronx Zoo gorillas went viral after casually engaging in oral sex in front of shocked onlookers of all ages. Hey, give ’em a break. It’s not like they get any privacy with those glass walls. I have no doubt that we’d all do the same. Now, at first, it looked like the one gorilla was going in for a cuddle, but, nope; they pushed the male gorilla to the ground and began performing fellatio. Some of the human zoo-goers burst out laughing, others dragged their kids away, and one dad cried, “Oh no! Don’t look, Josie!” But it was too late. Josie had seen everything. And she’ll never be the same.
A TikToker Had To Call The Fire Department After She Got Stuck In A Chair While Filming Fetish Content
A 27-year-old Michigan woman got herself in some trouble the other day when she crammed her lil’ body into a folding chair and couldn’t get it back out. If you’re asking, “Why?”, the obvious answer is “for a TikTok!” Sydney Jo AKA @sydneysomethin is an online sex worker and says most of her TikTok posts are about sex work and giving sex work advice. Sydney Jo was trying to demonstrate the sexual fetish of getting stuck. And then she actually got stuck. Really stuck. So stuck that she had to call the fire department. It must have been scary, but congrats to Sydney Jo for unintentionally making the sexiest stuck content since 127 Hours.
Sharon Osbourne Wants You To Know That She And Ozzy Still Do It Several Times A Week
71-year-old Ozzy Osbourne and 67-year-old Sharon Osbourne have been married for 38 years, and even though he’s fucked around on her a lot, she told everyone that they still have a healthy fuck life. I guess that’s for everyone who already doesn’t know that seniors fuck! All I can say is, Ozzy and Sharon regularly humping is much, much, much, much, much better than some of the other stuff these two used to get up to.
Macaulay Culkin And Kathy Bates Will Have A “Crazy” Sex Scene On “American Horror Story”
Not even the late Sylvia Browne could’ve predicted that the Pagemaster and Annie Wilkes would eventually hook up. But it’s happening, because Ryan Murphy (and the year 2020) gives zero fucks about sanity. During an interview with E! News, Ryan says that Macaulay Culkin and Kathy Bates will do it on the next season of American Horror Story.
First off, spoilers much, Ry-dog? Second off, this Oscar-winning achievement (that’s right, the Academy is changing the rules to allow a televised sex scene to automatically win Best Picture) hasn’t even been shot yet. The next season of AHS was supposed to premiere this fall, but production has been delayed because of coronavirus.
Open Post: Hosted By Frankie Muniz Dancing To Ginuwine’s “Pony”
If you’re like me and you occasionally think to yourself, “Whatever happened to the kid from Malcolm in the Middle?“, you were probably surprised to discover that not only is Frankie Muniz now a full-grown man, but he’s also got a fairly active social media account. And every once in a while, former child-star social media accounts will feature a post that manages to bring more than just heartwarming nostalgia. Sometimes, they feature a whole lot of “Ginuwine” loin-tingling WTF.
Angelina Jolie Lightens Up For A Perfume Commercial
We spent all this time in eager anticipation of The Lohanaissance, but we never thought to ready ourselves for the real second coming, the Age Of Ang-lightenment. While Brad Pitt’s out here dodging lips and being fawned over by the horny masses after flashing his abs in Once Upon a Time In Hollywood, his soon to be ex-wife Angelina Jolie’s got some flashing of her own to do. If you think Angie’s given her body over to motherhood and floor length cardigans, think again! Angie’s starring in a pair of perfume ads for french brand Mon Guerlain, and they are all the way EROTIC. But don’t get it twisted. Angie’s not just a sexual being, she’s also a serious business woman who does very important business things! Yes ladies, you CAN have it all.