Category: Sex Sells

Open Post: Hosted By The Shoes Created With Defective Sex Toys

August 26, 2022 / Posted by:

Normally whenever someone has successfully worn out their secret bedroom batons it becomes time to burn the evidence and never speak of them again. But have you ever wondered what happens to the defective sex toys that die virgins? Apparently, some of them get used for better purposes, like becoming comfortable footwear guaranteed to put a much-needed “Ahhhhh…” into every step you take. And if you need proof just ask David Teitelbaum and Chad Braverman, who are combining their respective companies into a line of footwear.

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Steve-O From “Jackass” Is Launching His Own X-Rated Website

December 22, 2021 / Posted by:

Freaking out about leaving all your Christmas shopping to the last minute? Well, calm down, bitch, and go with something safe and affordable: a subscription to Steve-O Raw, the brand spanking new XXX-rated website from Jackass’ Steve-O. Page Six says that for just $9.99 a month you get exclusive access to pornographic content, live streams, never-before-seen footage, merch, meet-and-greets, and home movies from the 47-year-old daredevil. It’s the perfect gift for Mom, Dad, Grandma, Aunt Susan, your niece Madison– oh wait, scratch that last one. You need to be 18+ to unlock all of Steve-O’s scintillating secrets…

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Jessica Chastain Responded To The Viral Pictures Of Oscar Isaac Kissing Her Arm On The Red Carpet

September 7, 2021 / Posted by:

This past Saturday, Oscar Isaac took a good, long sniff of Jessica Chastain’s smelly armpit in front of dozens of photographers and industry types on the Venice International Film Festival red carpet. At least that’s what it looked like in the photos. In reality, Oscar was sensually rubbing Jessica, staring into her eyes, and giving her sweet, sweet arm kisses. The slo-mo video of this obvious publicity stunt completely unrehearsed, totally authentic moment between two married actors promoting their new HBO series, Scenes From A Marriage, went viral, with thirsty fanboys and girls creaming their jorts over the actors’ chemistry. Now Jessica has responded with a tweet referencing Oscar’s inspiration: Gomez Addams, the original Certified Lover Boy™… Continue reading

The “Gossip Girl” HBO Max Reboot Has Threesomes And Bathhouses And Soft-Core Action, OH MY!

June 10, 2021 / Posted by:

The Gossip Girl reboot is coming to HBO Max on July 8th, and since it’s going to be on HBO, they can up the pearl-clutching-factor and get ~ohsoscandalous~. And according to Page Six, they have and some people, who have seen early previews of the show, have said the show is trying too hard to be edgy and scandalous and some of the scenes are Skinemaxy. Well, the HBO Max feedback line better prepare to be hit with the sound of the four screeching voices behind Millions of Moms.

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Open Post: Hosted By Sexy Valentine’s Day Kraft Dinner

February 6, 2020 / Posted by:

Kraft is looking to get sexy this Valentine’s Day and is running a new Kraft Mac Is For Lovers campaign, which has me thinking, “The fuck?” Kraft’s new Big Bowl mac and cheese is apparently the perfect Valentine’s Day meal for couples with children they want to quickly feed and put to bed so they can hump each other in their locked bedrooms down the hall.

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PepsiCo Assures The Female World That It’s Still OK To Eat Doritos

February 6, 2018 / Posted by:

PepsiCo thinks we’re all pretty stupid. Their CEO, Indra Nooyi, went on a podcast and talked about how men eat chips on Mars and women eat chips on Venus, or some shit. Her remarks were presented within the context of Pepsi’s very real plan to market a snack food based on what they think women’s preferences are when it comes to carb-loading. But forget those pesky facts and things that were actually were said! The real story here, according to Pepsi, is that some people thought they meant Doritos specifically! Ya dumb, bird brains!

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