That’s either the look of unconditional love and patience, or two people who could power a small town on the energy from their pent-up horniness. In Michelle Williams’ case, it could very well be both.
All we’ve ever needed to know about what possibly happens behind John Mayer’s closed bedroom door can be found on his face during a particularly intense guitar riff. And yet, he’s still more than happy to spill the details of his sex life for anyone who dares ask. We know he used to jerk off all the time, that he would have sold all his stuff to keep fucking Jessica “Sexual Napalm” Simpson, and who could forget the David Duke dick thing. And now we know more! Prepare yourselves accordingly.
When I was little, I lived in the country and spent a lot of time wandering around outside flipping over rocks to find snakes and bugs and other fun things. That was the golden era before cellphones when kids had to entertain themselves without the aid of an electronic device, Goddammit! Well, I wish I could un-flip the rock that unearthed this tidbit of gossip, because when I woke up this morning I was blissfully unaware that Adrienne Bailon-Houghton, the only Cheetah Girl I can name who isn’t Raven-Symone, and my favorite Kartrashian ex, loves to suck on her man’s toes.
I can’t be sure, but based on Sharon Osbourne’s recent confession about her sex life, I want to believe Ozzy Osbourne is leaning in and asking: “Oi Sharaaaan, I heard it’s National Punctuation Day. So can I comma in your colon tonight or what?”
Things appear to be getting back to normal on The Talk after the drama of Julie Chen’s recent exit, and by “normal,” I of course mean diving into the deep end of Sharon’s personal life with her husband.
Scott Eastwood is an attractive, wealthy, privileged, male, from a famous family, who is having lots of sex. So he’s someone who really anyone can identify with. Right? Scott was on the Live Life Better podcast (full episode after the cut) where he spoke with relationship expert Emily Morse. From the episode we learned a lot about Scott’s sex drive, which is valuable information to have.
Pete Davidson has “confirmed” what his fiancé Ariana Grande alluded to on Twitter recently: that he’s got a 10-inch dick, and he also talked about Ariana’s crotch situation. Pete brought his big dick energy to Ariana’s recent Instagram live stream. It’s hard to hear, but Pete says, “I’m happy she’s happy, big dick, tight pussy.”
Since y’all want to know what happened
Pete said: “i’m happy she’s happy big d*ck thigh p*ssy” on ariana’s livestream
— JE$U$ (@cumwithariana) June 28, 2018
Some of Ariana’s fans thought that was tacky of Pete, and they started the #PeteGottaRespectAriana hashtag.
Her fans shouldn’t be so scandalized; this isn’t the first time Ariana’s man has spoken publicly about her cooch. Several years ago, Ariana’s boyfriend-at-the-time Big Sean proved he was just as classy by saying that she had a billion dollar pussy. Expensive, tight, and surrounded by tackiness? I guess you could say Ariana Grande has the Hervé Leger dress of vaginas.
As much as Ariana’s fans might have been bothered by Pete’s pussy talk, she probably wasn’t. According to E! News, she’s still so much in love with him that she’s gotten even more tattoos in honor of him, like one honoring his late New York firefighter father who died on 9/11. Ariana now has a tattoo on the top of her left foot that reads “8418,” which was Scott’s badge number. Pete also has 8418 tattooed on his arm. When they eventually run out of clouds and numbers, what’s left? Portraits? I doubt Ariana would want to spend the rest of her life explaining to curious people that no, she isn’t a huge Steve Buscemi fan.