If blackface had a slogan, it might be Blackface: No, Don’t Do It. So obviously people got very upset when they heard that a child actor on the set of Seth Rogen’s latest film Good Boys was put in makeup to make him look darker than he is.
Stars, they’re just like us! When they feel crotch tingles, they let their fingers to the walking on the world wide web for a little sweet release. And with the help of modern technology, everybody’s kink can be honed and sculpted to their exact tastes. Some stars you can just look at and know what type of porn their into. George Clooney’s probably into vintage 1930’s era tuxedo porn; Goldie Hawn probably likes German naked wood-nymph stuff. But when it comes to thinking about what gets Tom Cruise’s “meat body” (THE ACTUAL L.RON APPROVED TERM) all hot and bothered, the mind draws a blank in a merciful act of self-protection. According to Indiewire though, Tommy boy didn’t even know internet porn existed until Seth Rogen hipped him to it in 2006.
Disney’s latest live-action MWTPTBG (mess with the potential to be good), The Lion King, is coming together and yesterday, Disney tweeted a picture of the confirmed cast. For a company like Disney, that is a very low-budget community theater-looking cast sheet. Not to mention how confusing it must have been when the real star Beyonce saw it. “Can someone explain why both my picture and name are the same size as everyone else? Oh wait, is this like a Destiny’s Child thing, where I pretend I’m part of a group? Ok, gotcha (wink).”
This is like the time I blocked Rob’s bestie Adam Sandler, but then unblocked him so I could meet Rob’s daughter Elle King.
Vaguely familiar comedian (and Trump supporter) Rob Schneider blocked Seth Rogen on Twitter. What? Why? Oddly enough, an early-rising and/or bored Seth went looking for whether or not Rob followed him on Twitter yesterday morning. Had the script for Green Hornet 2 not arrived yet?
Sausage Party is that computer animated horror movie about talking food murder that was made by stoners for stoners and it had its premiere in L.A. last night. Salma Hayek does the voice of a gayelle taco shell named Teresa in Sausage Party and so she was at the premiere where she grabbed the buns of a giant hot dog bun in heels and posed with two lettuce heads as though they were her tits. I will say the same thing I said when I somehow* caught myself watching most of Grown Ups 2 on Starz one night:
Salma Hayek, you can act, you’re hot and you’re married to a billionaire. You do not need to do this shit. The end.
But now that I think about it, maybe being married to an over-filled money vault depleted all of the fucks she had to give and now she does whatever she wants. Maybe she really wants to be in an Adam Sandler movie, and do the voice of a taco-bumping taco and pose with lettuce tits. Well, if that’s the case, then Salma should’ve at least gotten one of her minions to fetch her ass some lettuce heads that weren’t falling apart and didn’t look all sad-like. They’re doing a disservice to real magnificent chichis!
And here’s pictures of a bunch of people at last night’s premiere. When exactly did Michael Cera shape-shift into Fran Lebowitz?
* Blame it on the weed mixed with my self-hate.
As most of us already know, Katherine Heigl took a flamethrower to the bridges connected to Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow shortly after the release of Knocked Up in 2007. Katherine accused Knocked Up of being “sexist,” among other things. Ever since then, she’s tried to apologize for crapping all over Knocked Up. Most recently, Katherine dabbed at her teary eyes on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show. Katherine claimed that when she ran into Seth and Judd at a restaurant, she tried to talk to them, but they treated her like a long pube in their sandwich. Katherine said she’d love to work with Seth again, but doesn’t think that will ever happen since he hates her. Well, Seth Rogen has something to say about that. And according to him, it’s not like that. He doesn’t hate you, Heigl.