Some people need the sweet nectar to get them through a gross flight. Some people needs meds. And some people need both. Well, Selma Blair may fall under the third category, only today, it ended with her leaving the plane on a stretcher.
TMZ says that Selma was riding in first class on a Delta flight from Cancun to LAX today. She was allegedly drinking red wine. Witnesses tell TMZ that they saw Selma put something in her wine and mix it in. Those witnesses claim that a quick second after that, Selma started crying and said disturbing things about an unnamed man, “He burns my private parts. He won’t let me eat or drink. He beats me. He’s going to kill me.” There were 2 nurses on the plane who tried to figure out what was going on and searched Selma’s bags for pills.
The pilot radioed ahead, so when the plane landed at LAX, medical personnel boarded, put Selma on a stretcher and took her to the hospital. It’s not known if Selma was flying by herself or not. A few days ago, Selma posted a picture on Instagram of herself and her son with the caption: “We’re leaving on a jet plane. Dad is already asleep. Not for long. Bwahahahha . #fathersdayweekend” The father of Selma’s son and her ex Jason Bleick also posted a picture on Instagram this morning of himself and his with the caption: “On our way back from Fathers Day in Mexico.” UPDATE: People says that Selma’s 4-year-old son was on the flight with her. Witnesses all say that Selma was mixing her wine with prescription meds.
Not Selma Blair! I swear, let’s just all go back to bed and wake up when it’s 2017. 2016 is the Donald Trump of years.
Selma Blair played Pimp Mama Kris in American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson, so as soon as she gets better (I hope she gets better), she needs to take a long bath in holy water and cover herself with sage smoke while chanting an anti-Kardashian chant (aka the lyrics to any Taylor Swift song). The Kartrashian Kurse is no joke.
It was very nice of Betsey Johnson to remove her name from the nominees list, and therefore give people like Beyonce a fighting chance at taking home the CFDA’s Fashion Icon award. I’m assuming that’s what happened. Betsey Johnson has always been my favorite fashion weirdo. Even when I was very little and my knowledge of fashion was limited to skorts and whatever the look is called when you loop the bottom of a t-shirt through the neck hole, I knew that she was the definition of effortless, carefree WTF style. Effortless, because she always looks like she put in zero effort. Carefree, because I’m sure she’s free of cares when it comes to what anybody thinks about her. And WTF, because I still cannot figure out what the fuck is going on with those glue-in hair extension.
Betsey brought her carefree WTF style to the CFDA Awards last night. Betsey Johnson gave everyone “getting-her-groove-back grandma” mixed with Janice the Muppet and a side of boxed wine buzz. She’s on vacation from all her worries and troubles and the collection agency that won’t stop calling and demanding payment for that pesky overdue TJ Maxx credit card bill, and she doesn’t care who knows it! Betsey looks like she’s about to climb over the bar at her all-inclusive Mexican resort, grab a bottle of rum and a handful of limes, and smoker-bark over to her friends Buffy, Bambi, and Binky: “See you in the pool!” I want to be this version of Betsey Johnson when I grow up.
Of course, there always has to be a runner-up in the Pageant of Life, and I choose to give that honor to Selma Blair.
Selma Blair plays Pimp Mama Kris in American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson. Pimp Mama Kris’ daughter Kendull Jenner is friends with fellow model Gigi Hadid whose mom is Yolanda Hadid (formerly Foster) who has separated from David Foster who is now apparently bumping wet parts with Selma Blair. I know that in Hollywood there’s six degrees of separation between all of the genitals of famous tricks, but Selma Blair and David Foster? Linda Blair and Jodie Foster would be less of a random couple than Selma Blair and David Foster.
David is a brand new single bitch after he and Yolanda announced in December that they’re over. Selma has pretty much been single since breaking up with the father of her 4-year-old son in 2012.
UsWeekly says that David and Selma were definitely on a date when they had dinner at Craig’s in West Hollywood last week. Again, it was DEFINITELY a date.
The meeting between the actress and estranged husband of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Yolanda Foster wasn’t just friends grabbing food; it was indeed a romantic date, a source confirms to Us Weekly.
“It was definitely a date!” a source tells Us of Blair, 43, and Foster, 66, taking in some alone time at the upscale West Hollywood eatery.
How does this “source” know that it was definitely a date? Did they bone on the table while waiting for their salads to come? Or did they push at their food while making awkward small talk about their dogs before Selma “forgot” she had the flu and ran off while promising she’ll call (when she knows she won’t). That’s how all of my dates go, anyway. Maybe it wasn’t a date at all. Maybe it was a business meeting. David could be producing a Lifetime movie based on his time with Yolanda called Lemons & Lyme: My Life With Yolo. And he wants Selma to play Yolanda since she was so good at playing that other privileged mess.
But I’m sure the “source” (read: an UsWeekly intern) knows it was definitely a date because Selma’s publicist told them so.
Here’s Selma giving you Studio 54 reject glamour at Chateau Marmont a couple of weeks ago.
FX’s promo schedule for Ryan Murphy’s latest camp extravaganza American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson has felt as long as that white Bronco chase on the freeway. For weeks, they’ve released teaser trailers and promo pictures, and today they finally put out the official trailer and it looks like it’s going to be a beautiful disaster. It’s pretty much looks like O.J. Simpson: The Telenovela.
The trailer has John Travolta looking like a barbecued Raisinet as Robert Shapiro, Cheryl Ladd delivering a world-class eyebrow situation as Robert Shapiro’s wife, Sarah Paulson doing her signature Sarah Paulson cry with two brown mops on her head, Cuba Gooding Jr. sounding like he needs four bags of throat lozenges, Selma Blair gossiping at Nicole Brown’s funeral as Pimp Mama Kris and David Schwimmer bawling in a car as Robert Kardashian. (He’s probably bawling in the car because he realizes he’s defending a demon and is married to a demon too). And there’s also Connie Britton as the morally corrupt Faye Resnick:
That’s pretty much just Connie Britton wearing a lipstick color that only existed in the 90s, but I’ll take it.
And I wonder who is playing the pivotal role of the jury forewoman who fucked up Orenthal James Simpson’s name while reading the verdict? Every time I see the name “O.J. Simpson,” I always read it as, “Orenjal James Simpson.“
Back in March, professional famous friend collector Taylor Swift was named the godmother of the baby growing inside Jaime King. And this weekend, she held up her end of the godmother deal by throwing a huge-ass baby shower and inviting all her famous friends to come and lavish attention on Taylor Swift…I mean, Jaime. It was totally about Jaime. I mean, it was clearly just a coincidence that Taylor got the coveted second-from-the-left spot in the picture above.
Just like Taylor Swift’s birthday party, Taylor Swift’s baby shower was packed full of famous people: Gigi Hadid, the Haim sisters, Hailee Steinfeld, Emma Roberts, Sarah Hyland and Joey King. Taylor also made sure to invite a couple of adults, like Jessica Alba, Nina Dobrev, Selma Blair, Diane Kruger, and Topher Grace, so that 36-year-old Jaime didn’t feel left out. Not present: Lorde and Ellie Goulding. Hmmm….
Taylor’s “I’m gonna be a godmother, bitches!” baby shower took place at Soho House in West Hollywood, which means that baby shower was already an expensive mess before the first exquisitely-wrapped present was placed on the gift table. And I’m sure all the best presents came from Tay Tay herself. Fuck a Bumbo and some burp cloths; that yet-to-be born baby probably took home a stroller glued together with the tears of her enemies, a framed plaque stating that a fancy breed of expensive cat has been named after it, the No. 3 spot on her best friends list, and the deed to a small island.
Here’s more from Jaime’s baby shower. There were so many famous people there, looking at the pictures is like playing Where’s Waldo, but instead of finding the dude in the striped sweater, you’re searching for the one non-famous normal person.
Ah, the unwanted piece of soggy white bread in an open-faced attention-yanking sandwich; truly one of the more awkward third wheel situations. If that uncomfortable non-smile on Reese Witherspoon’s face was any tighter, she could pressure-squeeze a dozen lemons and make a batch of lemonade for the thirsty bitches beside her.
Reese reunited with her Cruel Intentions co-stars Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair last night to watch that Cruel Intentions parody musical that Reese’s kids definitely have no interest in seeing, and SMG and Selma decided to make things weird for Reese by recreating their mouth-humping moment from the movie before the show. That’s nice, but what I really would have loved to see was Sarah Michelle Gellar walk up to a random usher and hiss “I don’t fuck losers.”
Honestly though, I can’t really roll my eyes at this, because I love Cruel Intentions and my heart won’t let me. Every time my brain starts to think “Okay you two“, my heart slaps it across its dumb brain face and screams “How DARE you! Show some respect you tacky tramp, that’s bitch legend Kathryn Merteuil you’re talking about.”
If only Reese’s drunk alter-ego Laura Jeanne Poon had something to say about all this. No, you’re right – she wouldn’t have to say anything. The dollar bills she’d be throwing at them while cackling “GET IT, GIRL!” would say it all.
Here’s more of Reese, Sarah Michelle, and Selma’s Cruel Intentions mini-reunion last night and thankfully they Instagrammed the hell out of it. I’ve also thrown in a couple pics of Reese Witherspoon subtly hustling a $155 tote bag from DraperJames.com while cruising around Beverly Hills yesterday.