Category: Selma Blair

Charlie Sheen Doesn’t Like Jenny McCarthy, Really Doesn’t Like Rihanna

January 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Charlie Sheen has a direct-to-TV movie coming out soon called Mad Families, which I’ve learned isn’t a documentary about the people who receive his child support checks. It’s appropriate that Charlie is promoting a movie with the word “mad” in the title, because Charlie is still very mad at Rihanna for that time she wouldn’t wave him and his ex-fiancée Brett Rossi over to her table at a restaurant. He also had something to say about Jenny McCarthy, Selma Blair, and Jennifer Grey. You leave Baby out of this, Charlie!

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Selma Blair Apologized For Her Booze And Pills-Induced Airplane Meltdown

June 21, 2016 / Posted by:

Selma Blair is thankfully okay after she had a freak out on a plane and had to be taken off on a stretcher. Selma was flying back from a Father’s Day weekend trip in Cancun with her ex-man and their 4-year-old son when she started crying and made disturbing accusations like, “He burns my private parts,” and, “He’s going to kill me.” Witnesses said that Selma was drinking red wine and took some pills. She was shuffled off to the hospital. She tells Vanity Fair today that she danced with danger by mixing pills with the sweet nectar. Selma had a bad trip on that plane and gave this explanation and apology:

“I made a big mistake yesterday. After a lovely trip with my son and his Dad, I mixed alcohol with medication, and that caused me to black out and led me to say and do things that I deeply regret. My son was with his Dad asleep with his headphones on, so there is that saving grace. I take this very seriously, and I apologize to all of the passengers and crew that I disturbed and am thankful to all of the people who helped me in the aftermath. I am a flawed human being who makes mistakes and am filled with shame over this incident. I am truly very sorry.”

I’m going to guess that Ambien (aka the exorcist pill) is to blame. Not too long ago, I posted one of my many incoherent and ridiculous posts, and someone e-mailed me to ask if I was in a red wine and Ambien-produced haze when I wrote it. I know, what do they take me for? It was a wine cooler and Nytol haze! Red wine and Ambien? Pfft. That’s way too high class for me.

Pic: Wenn.com

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Selma Blair Allegedly Had A Freak Out On A Plane

June 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Some people need the sweet nectar to get them through a gross flight. Some people needs meds. And some people need both. Well, Selma Blair may fall under the third category, only today, it ended with her leaving the plane on a stretcher.

TMZ says that Selma was riding in first class on a Delta flight from Cancun to LAX today. She was allegedly drinking red wine. Witnesses tell TMZ that they saw Selma put something in her wine and mix it in. Those witnesses claim that a quick second after that, Selma started crying and said disturbing things about an unnamed man, “He burns my private parts. He won’t let me eat or drink. He beats me. He’s going to kill me.” There were 2 nurses on the plane who tried to figure out what was going on and searched Selma’s bags for pills.

The pilot radioed ahead, so when the plane landed at LAX, medical personnel boarded, put Selma on a stretcher and took her to the hospital. It’s not known if Selma was flying by herself or not. A few days ago, Selma posted a picture on Instagram of herself and her son with the caption: “We’re leaving on a jet plane. Dad is already asleep. Not for long. Bwahahahha . #fathersdayweekend” The father of Selma’s son and her ex Jason Bleick also posted a picture on Instagram this morning of himself and his with the caption: “On our way back from Fathers Day in Mexico.” UPDATE: People says that Selma’s 4-year-old son was on the flight with her. Witnesses all say that Selma was mixing her wine with prescription meds.

Not Selma Blair! I swear, let’s just all go back to bed and wake up when it’s 2017. 2016 is the Donald Trump of years.

Selma Blair played Pimp Mama Kris in American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson, so as soon as she gets better (I hope she gets better), she needs to take a long bath in holy water and cover herself with sage smoke while chanting an anti-Kardashian chant (aka the lyrics to any Taylor Swift song). The Kartrashian Kurse is no joke.

Pic: Wenn.com

 

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Betsey Johnson Brought Ten Tons Of “It” To The CFDA Awards

June 7, 2016 / Posted by:

It was very nice of Betsey Johnson to remove her name from the nominees list, and therefore give people like Beyonce a fighting chance at taking home the CFDA’s Fashion Icon award. I’m assuming that’s what happened. Betsey Johnson has always been my favorite fashion weirdo. Even when I was very little and my knowledge of fashion was limited to skorts and whatever the look is called when you loop the bottom of a t-shirt through the neck hole, I knew that she was the definition of effortless, carefree WTF style. Effortless, because she always looks like she put in zero effort. Carefree, because I’m sure she’s free of cares when it comes to what anybody thinks about her. And WTF, because I still cannot figure out what the fuck is going on with those glue-in hair extension.

Betsey brought her carefree WTF style to the CFDA Awards last night. Betsey Johnson gave everyone “getting-her-groove-back grandma” mixed with Janice the Muppet and a side of boxed wine buzz. She’s on vacation from all her worries and troubles and the collection agency that won’t stop calling and demanding payment for that pesky overdue TJ Maxx credit card bill, and she doesn’t care who knows it! Betsey looks like she’s about to climb over the bar at her all-inclusive Mexican resort, grab a bottle of rum and a handful of limes, and smoker-bark over to her friends Buffy, Bambi, and Binky: “See you in the pool!” I want to be this version of Betsey Johnson when I grow up.

Of course, there always has to be a runner-up in the Pageant of Life, and I choose to give that honor to Selma Blair.

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Random Has Burped Up A New Couple

March 8, 2016 / Posted by:

Selma Blair plays Pimp Mama Kris in American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson. Pimp Mama Kris’ daughter Kendull Jenner is friends with fellow model Gigi Hadid whose mom is Yolanda Hadid (formerly Foster) who has separated from David Foster who is now apparently bumping wet parts with Selma Blair. I know that in Hollywood there’s six degrees of separation between all of the genitals of famous tricks, but Selma Blair and David Foster? Linda Blair and Jodie Foster would be less of a random couple than Selma Blair and David Foster.

David is a brand new single bitch after he and Yolanda announced in December that they’re over. Selma has pretty much been single since breaking up with the father of her 4-year-old son in 2012.

UsWeekly says that David and Selma were definitely on a date when they had dinner at Craig’s in West Hollywood last week. Again, it was DEFINITELY a date.

The meeting between the actress and estranged husband of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Yolanda Foster wasn’t just friends grabbing food; it was indeed a romantic date, a source confirms to Us Weekly.

“It was definitely a date!” a source tells Us of Blair, 43, and Foster, 66, taking in some alone time at the upscale West Hollywood eatery.

How does this “source” know that it was definitely a date? Did they bone on the table while waiting for their salads to come? Or did they push at their food while making awkward small talk about their dogs before Selma “forgot” she had the flu and ran off while promising she’ll call (when she knows she won’t). That’s how all of my dates go, anyway. Maybe it wasn’t a date at all. Maybe it was a business meeting. David could be producing a Lifetime movie based on his time with Yolanda called Lemons & Lyme: My Life With Yolo. And he wants Selma to play Yolanda since she was so good at playing that other privileged mess.

But I’m sure the “source” (read: an UsWeekly intern) knows it was definitely a date because Selma’s publicist told them so.

Here’s Selma giving you Studio 54 reject glamour at Chateau Marmont a couple of weeks ago.

Pics: Splash

The Official Trailer For “American Crime Story” Is Here

December 2, 2015 / Posted by:

FX’s promo schedule for Ryan Murphy’s latest camp extravaganza American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson has felt as long as that white Bronco chase on the freeway. For weeks, they’ve released teaser trailers and promo pictures, and today they finally put out the official trailer and it looks like it’s going to be a beautiful disaster. It’s pretty much looks like O.J. Simpson: The Telenovela.

The trailer has John Travolta looking like a barbecued Raisinet as Robert Shapiro, Cheryl Ladd delivering a world-class eyebrow situation as Robert Shapiro’s wife, Sarah Paulson doing her signature Sarah Paulson cry with two brown mops on her head, Cuba Gooding Jr. sounding like he needs four bags of throat lozenges, Selma Blair gossiping at Nicole Brown’s funeral as Pimp Mama Kris and David Schwimmer bawling in a car as Robert Kardashian. (He’s probably bawling in the car because he realizes he’s defending a demon and is married to a demon too). And there’s also Connie Britton as the morally corrupt Faye Resnick:

americancrimestorytrailer2

That’s pretty much just Connie Britton wearing a lipstick color that only existed in the 90s, but I’ll take it.

And I wonder who is playing the pivotal role of the jury forewoman who fucked up Orenthal James Simpson’s name while reading the verdict? Every time I see the name “O.J. Simpson,” I always read it as, Orenjal James Simpson.

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