Last Thursday, The Weeknd released his latest album, My Dear Melancholy (he’s really leaning into the whole sad boy image). On the album’s first track, Call Out My Name, are lyrics that sound like him admitting he had offered his girlfriend at the time, Selena Gomez, one of his kidneys. Except according to sources close to Selena, she never had any plans to call out his name and ask for a kidney.
If Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are on a bit of a break like they’re rumored to be, then it would appear he’s a regular Ross Geller, because he’s repeatedly been seen with a girl who isn’t Selena.
Every time I hear about Selena Gomez trying to get her shit together while still flopping around like a wide-eyed used car lot air dancer powered by the hot air emanating from Justin Bieber, I want to scream at her, “Girl, pull that air hose out of your ass and come down off that cross!” E! News reports that Selena may be making a small step in that direction by decamping from L.A. and heading home to Texas to “clear her head” after a rough patch with Justin and a disagreement involving his super churchy b-day party.
If this were an episode of Friends, it would NOT be okay for Justin Bieber to start sticking his Canadian bacon in a non-Selena Gomez oven, but I’m sure that won’t stop him. I guess couples counseling isn’t working, because sources say Justin and Selena have been getting into little arguments, and things aren’t as maple syrup-y sweet as it was when they were attending 24/7 Sunday School. The two have decided to take some time away from each other. Continue reading
Selena Gomez has been doing some much needed self-care and recently spent two weeks in a Justin Bieber dependency rehab facility. Sorry, my bad, I totally read that wrong. UsWeekly says it’s actually a “treatment facility focused on mental wellness and empowerment”. The New York facility provides “clean eating” as well as treatment for mental and physical health. No word if Selena was allowed to bring her giant teddy bear but they did let her bring her telephone. Selena was last in rehab in 2016.
After three months and numerous Jesus-supervised couples counseling sessions, Selena Gomez and her recurring rash of a boyfriend Justin Bieber might be very close to calling it quits again. Selena’s mom (and current president of the No Justins Club) Mandy Teefey is no doubt doing a dance of joy upon hearing this news. Continue reading