Category: Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez’s Mom Isn’t Feeling Her Reunion With Bieber

January 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Selena Gomez’s mom Mandy Teefey obviously has the best name ever her daughter’s best interests in mind. No one wants to spend future Christmas mornings with an irritating shithead. Mandy told Gossip Cop that she’s “not happy” with Selena hooking back up with the subject of the most unfortunate museum exhibition ever. Continue reading

Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Are In Couples Counseling With That Hipster Pastor Dude

December 24, 2017 / Posted by:

As we know, irritating shithead Justin Bieber and the current physical embodiment of “look at your life, look at your choices” (aka Selena Gomez) are in couples counseling. People is now saying that they’re getting counseled by Hillsong Church’s “cool” pastor and  muscly messianic figure Carl Lentz. Sources say that they’re trying to avoid the “same patterns” from their previous relationship(s). You could always avoid the “same patterns” from your previous relationship by not getting back into it because it was toxic and he’s a douche. Just a thought. Actually, who cares what they do? We should care about the time Selena put out a song in which she referred to her lover as “metaphorical gin and juice.” Why hasn’t anyone filled out a police report about that crime?

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A Fight Over Hailey Baldwin Sent Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez To Couples Therapy

December 21, 2017 / Posted by:

On Tuesday we learned that Selena Gomez’s mom went to the hospital after learning that Selena and her almost-boyfriend Justin Bieber are currently in couple’s therapy. According to TMZ, the reason why Selena and Justin are in couples therapy has to do with a conversation between him and Hailey Baldwin. Just like how her daddy is guilty of ruining movies since the 90s, Hailey Baldwin is allegedly ruining relationships.

Sources connected to Justin’s cult…er, I mean, church, Hillsong, tell TMZ that he has been working his way through his version of a 12-step Doucheaholic Anonymous program to be a better person. Justin recently reached out to Hailey Baldwin to make amends for their brief relationship that might have gone sour when he started hooking up with Sofia Richie.

Justin told Selena about his chat with Hailey, because he wants to be honest now. Selena flipped out, becauseI guess she has a “Don’t talk to your exes unless they’re me” rule. Whatever the reason, sources say they couldn’t work it out on their own, and high-tailed it to Christian couples therapy.

Justin and Selena have apparently been going to Christian couples therapy for about a week now. It’s not known if it’s done anything besides sending Selena’s mom to the hospital. Also not known: whether those sessions keep getting interrupted by a booming voice of reason from above yelling, “All this because of Hailey Baldwin? Oh my me, JUST BREAK UP ALREADY.


Selena Gomez Went “Private” On Instagram, And Her Fans Blame Billboard

December 5, 2017 / Posted by:

There’s nothing that brings all the tweens to the yard than some passive aggressive social media maneuver. Back in my day, all we had were obscure Hanson lyrics to post as an AIM away message, but kids these days can do all sorts of stunts like blocking, unfollowing, and…GOING PRIVATE! So when Selena Gomez took her Instagram to private mode for a mere 130 million of her closest fans and followers, the same number of Detective LaToyas popped up looking for answers. Continue reading


Selena Gomez Mumbles Out Some Words About Working With Woody Allen

December 1, 2017 / Posted by:

Selena Gomez was recently named Billboard’s Woman of The Year. Along with that auspicious title comes a fun photoshoot and a long sit-down interview. In the interview Selena discussed, among other things, puppies (she got one while she was with The Weeknd, his name is Charlie!), horses (she did equine therapy), her new kidney and teddy bears (unverified, but probably a gift from Justin Bieber because he’s exactly the kind of dude who thinks an oversized teddy bear is an appropriate gift for an adult woman. Spoiler Alert: The teddy bear gets mauled by Charlie in the end). The interviewer was so taken with Selena’s thoughtfulness and maturity that she was moved to write:

There is no fidgeting, no hesitation, no searching gazes as she speaks — only a kind of openness that makes it easy to forget Gomez is only halfway through her 20s.

Well, to a point. There was one question that came up that seemed to derail Selena’s tranquility and calm demeanor: Why would you fuck with Woody Allen?

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