The Kmart Karl Lagerfeld, Stefano Gabbana (seen above serving us with a case of Boca Raton Pepaw checking the mail for his social security check), is known for spending just as much time stirring his vat of shit soup as he does behind the sewing machine, so it should come as no surprise when he lashes at so much as a cute litter of kittens and labels them as fugly pussies. This week, Stefano bared his fangs in the direction of Selena Gomez, and her squad of Selenators told the Beyhive and the Swifties to hold their juice boxes. They had an Italian rat to exterminate. Continue reading
After several months of rumors that Selena Gomez and Justin’s Beiber relationship was over, E! News says that she’s “completely moved on” and is “not interested in getting back together with him anytime soon.” If you spot Selena’s mom Mandy Teefey at BevMo stocking up on cases of champagne today, you’ll know why. She’s got reason to celebrate! Her daughter might finally be de-programmed of her dickmatization to Canada’s unofficial dirtbag.
The source goes on to say that Selena still “respects” him as a person, but that she’s “much happier” on her own. Her focus right now is on staying healthy. She’s also open to dating. Selena was last rumored to be receiving flirty texts from Justin Theroux, but he’s possibly moved on to redder pastures.
Another source says that Selena isn’t in contact with Justin Bieber any more, and that things pretty much imploded when Justin started hanging around Instagram model Baskin Champion. Selena is also apparently trying to take her life in a different direction. But if she has any regrets about her second time dating Justin Bieber, she’s not showing it. Instead, she’s letting everyone know she maybe had some regrets about looking a little like a Hawaiian Tropic bottle girl at the Met Gala.
I hope that’s the same reaction Selena has the next time Justin Bieber weasels back into her life and asks to hang out “as friends.” We all know how that turned out last time.
This one comes out of the file marked “random, but I’m listening“. Radar reports that Justin Theroux is letting his fingers do the talking and the lady they’re talking to is Selena Gomez. According to Radar’s source, Justin has been flirtatiously texting Selena and has been crushing on her since before his split with Jennifer Aniston. I guess the message “snitches get stitches” never really took in Hollywood.
Last Thursday, The Weeknd released his latest album, My Dear Melancholy (he’s really leaning into the whole sad boy image). On the album’s first track, Call Out My Name, are lyrics that sound like him admitting he had offered his girlfriend at the time, Selena Gomez, one of his kidneys. Except according to sources close to Selena, she never had any plans to call out his name and ask for a kidney.
If Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are on a bit of a break like they’re rumored to be, then it would appear he’s a regular Ross Geller, because he’s repeatedly been seen with a girl who isn’t Selena.
Every time I hear about Selena Gomez trying to get her shit together while still flopping around like a wide-eyed used car lot air dancer powered by the hot air emanating from Justin Bieber, I want to scream at her, “Girl, pull that air hose out of your ass and come down off that cross!” E! News reports that Selena may be making a small step in that direction by decamping from L.A. and heading home to Texas to “clear her head” after a rough patch with Justin and a disagreement involving his super churchy b-day party.