I had to amend my original headline from Adam Driver Might Be A Secret Daddy, because anyone who gets turned on by moody, hunky weirdos knows that’s no secret. In this case, we’re talking about Adam Driver and a rumor that he’s been a father for two years without anyone having even the slightest hint.
Earlier this year, Rashida Jones was pulled into an internet rumor that alleged she was secretly pregnant. Then she rolled up to the Vanity Fair Oscars party in March in a loose dress. Six months later, she showed up to the premiere of Quincy at TIFF looking very not-pregnant, and I realized maybe the internet was wrong about the whole pregnancy thing.
As it turns out, 42-year-old Rashida had pulled a fast one. E! News is reporting that Rashida gave birth to a baby boy named Isaiah Jones Koenig on August 22 in Los Angeles. The daddy is Rashida’s boyfriend of about two years Ezra Koenig, the 34-year-old lead singer of Vampire Weekend. Rashida nor her rep have confirmed the birth of the baby.
UsWeekly is reporting that the birth of Baby Isaiah happened “months” ago. We won’t likely learn exactly when that baby was born, because Rashida and Ezra are private like that. The only person who might have spilled the secret baby beans would’ve been Rashida’s dad Quincy Jones, a man who recently got some attention for telling secrets. Sadly, Quincy said his daughters took him aside later and told him to stop talking. That’s probably for the best, to be honest – who knows what nonsense Quincy might have come up with regarding that baby? Although, it also means we’re denied a juicy story about smooth-talking Quincy trying to hook up with two maternity floor nurses.
Pusha-T has been going after Drake. He released some embarrassing blackface pictures of Drake, and dropped a diss track accusing Drake of being a deadbeat dad to a secret son. Drake has only responded to the blackface pictures. According to Pusha-T, Drake was waiting to tell everyone about his alleged son because he was planning on using the reveal as publicity for his upcoming Adidas collaboration.
The last time we dealt with Kanye-related drama, his wife Kim Kardashian was fighting with his Chicago youth charity. This time the Kanye-adjacent drama involves the recipient of Kanye’s $85,000 gift of tasteless album cover art, Pusha-T, and Drake. And it’s boiled over to the point of Pusha-T throwing out a deadbeat dad accusation.
When I hear an actor is dating a “24-year-old lingerie model” my sight automatically switches to Side Eye Mode. But I’m willing to give 28-year-old Nicholas Hoult the benefit of the doubt in this case. People reports that Nicholas and aforementioned girlfriend of about a year, Bryana Holly, just had a baby. It’s irrefutable proof that the adorable little boy from About A Boy is all grown up, in case you somehow missed Nick’s very successful puberty and subsequent manly hotness. Hugh Grant must be so proud!
Two of Donald Trump’s alleged side pieces, Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, both said that he raw-dogged them. So I doubt that one layer of shock covered the face of anyone who read the rumor about how he’s got a secret love child out there. Shit, because Trump seems to be into busting raw orange nuts into his side tricks, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s got a whole secret love child army out there. And yes, that’s the face he makes when he busts a raw orange nut into his side tricks. I hope you weren’t in the middle of eating slightly curdled cream of pumpkin soup.
But the story isn’t that Trump maybe-boned a secret love child into one of his mistresses. It’s that The National Enquirer may have once again bought a story and killed it to protect him during the 2016 presidential election.