Dear readers, I’m sorry for insulting your intelligence by specifically stating that the poem is dumb, let alone really dumb. It’s Sean Penn. I’m sure you would have assumed a poem written by alleged wife beater Sean Penn about the #MeToo movement would be a misguided, tone-deaf mess without me telling you. Forgive me. With that being said, onto Sean Penn’s poem.
As Joni Mitchell says “you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone” and that’s exactly how I feel about Sean Penn. There was a long dormant period when Sean was off doing his thing and we didn’t really have to hear about it but now he’s got this new novel to promote (serious question: How do you read while your eyes are rolling? Is it physically possible?) and he’s making the rounds with a little pig pen poof of American Spirit smoke hovering over his head. In addition to lighting up on stage while in an Ambien induced haze on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, E! reports that Sean was also a guest on the WFT podcast with Marc Maron and talked about ex-wife Robin Wright’s parenting style.
…and those of us who were subjected to The Last Face can say movies (and Charlize Theron) aren’t in love back! Sean Penn is on a media tour for his foray into literature, and – surprisingly – it isn’t just to reporters on MSNBC and Mother Jones. He’s popping up this weekend on CBS Sunday Morning to promote his thinly veiled Donald Trump assassin book. Continue reading
I was at first surprised to see Sean Penn was coming out with a novel, and then I got giddy thinking it was all a subterfuge for ex-wife Madonna to surprise drop Sex 2 on us unsuspecting souls. Tragically, Sean’s novel lacks boobs and features words. Plenty of words. On Donald Trump. Oh, and #metoo, because why not play with fire? Continue reading
Page Six is reporting that Amber Heard went on a “romantic date” with Sean Penn. This would be the second alleged wife-beater for Amber. There’s a lot to unpack there, but let’s leave that to the therapists. Instead, let’s focus on her losing a JILLIONAIRE with A SPACESHIP? You could have been the Queen of Mars, and now you’re on a date with a surly Slim Jim? Continue reading
Kate del Castillo is an actress who accompanied angry riverbed Sean Penn on his quest to meet and interview internationally infamous drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán. Sean’s reportedly trying to get Kate’s documentary about their trip (The Day I Met El Chapo: The Kate Del Castillo Story) taken off Netflix. The reason why? It might have something to do with Kate’s revelation to People that they were so horny after meeting El Chapo that they allegedly banged. Can you think of a more powerful aphrodisiac? Me neither.