Mean girls Scott Rudin and Amy Pascal are not ready to give up on making Cleopatra happen. After the 2014 Sony hack revealed how they really felt about proposed star Angelina Jolie, things looked like they were heading in the direction of a gargantuan celluloid disaster the likes of which had not been seen since, well, since Cleopatra. But now, The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Blade Runner 2049 director Denis Villeneuve is in talks to take on the probably cursed project.
Around the same time that Twitter turned into an ocean of #THETERRORISTHAVEWON hashtags after Sony killed and cremated The Interview, Defamer posted leaked emails between St. Angie Jolie, Amy Pascal and Hollywood’s greatest super villain Scott Rudin about the inevitable turd that is the Cleopatra movie. Up in Heaven, Elizabeth Taylor is looking down at those simpletons while thinking to herself, “Nobody ruined Cleopatra the way that I ruined Cleopatra, but nice try, bitches.”
The e-mails that Defamer threw up yesterday are follow-ups to the legendary, cuntastic, hacked e-mails where Scott Rudin called Angie a “minimally talented spoiled brat” and told Amy Pascal that Cleopatra was going to be an epic flop that would make them the laughing stock of Hollywood. Little did Scott know that the e-mail he was writing would become laugh fuel. In the new e-mails from February 2014 and beyond, the three of them fuss over the choice of director, the script, the look, the wigs and at one point they discuss filming Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra instead. I wish they would’ve gone with that last idea, because Angie doing Shakespeare would be a Razzie-worthy extravaganza that would bring tears of happiness to my eyes.
Everybody in Hollywood has probably closed their email accounts, burned their phones and laptops and have vowed to do all of their shit talking in the bathroom with the shower on or in a screening of an Adam Sandler movie since those are usually empty. Because the Sony Hack of 2014 (“Hey, that’s my official title!” – Adam Sandler) keeps producing more e-mail foolery. Last night, Buzzfeed posted an e-mail thread between Hollywood super villain Scott Rudin and the co-head of Sony Amy Pascal, and this time they’re not gnawing at each other’s throats over that Jobs movie nobody wants or committing the sin of sins by trashing St. Angie Jolie.
This time they’re joking about how President Obama must only like movies starring black people and how he must love that “greedy whore” Kevin Hart, because you know, he’s black. Dumb pieces of disgusting trash! That’s like saying that I only like gay movies, because I’m gay. (Cut to me saying, “bad example,” while throwing a cardigan over my DVD collection which includes Paris Is Burning, Priscilla, Bound, Hedwig, My Beautiful Launderette, The Wedding Banquet, Bad Education, Showgirls and He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special.)