Puppy-saving human Redwood tree trunk The Rock dropped a beautiful blind item on Instagram yesterday when he went in on a chicken shit actor (or actors) who pissed him off more than seeing a number higher than 7% on a body fat calculator does. The Rock is finishing up shooting the 133,459th Fast & Furious movie, and in his goodbye note on Instagram, he praised his lady-co stars and also praised a few of his dude co-stars before taking an angry shit on unprofessional candy asses. And when The Rock shits on you, it leaves a bruise, because his turds have 12-packs and biceps.
Scott Eastwood, son of the inspiration for “Old Man Yells At Cloud“, revealed to People that his agents advised him against appearing in Taylor Swift’s “Wildest Dreams” video from last year. Their exact words? “That vicious liar? If she tells you the time, you’d better find a clock anyway because LIES! Be sure you have Snapchat open so you can capture the receipts from that shifty-mouthed, side-walking Decepticon!”
In actuality, they were concerned about Scotty becoming visual arm candy for Tay Tay.
“None of my agents wanted me to do it, actually,” Eastwood revealed. “They said, ‘Oh, we don’t want you to do that! Why would you be Taylor Swift’s boy toy?’ And I said, ‘Why the hell not?'”
“Why the hell not? We’ll probably come to some sort of contractual dating agreement, and my name recognition will go sky high. I’m not wearing that tank top, though, because that’s way too #pussygeneration for me.”
Eastwood called the shoot a “fantastic experience.” It was probably a fantastic experience for his dad Clint Eastwood, too, because you know he tagged along to Botswana to shotgun as many endangered species as possible. Manly men used to be able to blow the heads off of creatures without all these whiny pussies getting upset.
You can watch the video below. Taylor was never in any danger of getting eaten by that lion because they don’t eat snakes.
As everyone knows from the stories and stories about highly esteemed thespian Jared Leto going full method to play The Joker in Suicide Squad, highly esteemed thespian Jared Leto went full method to play The Joker in Suicide Squad. Jared spent time with mental patients who had been institutionalized and tried to freak out his co-stars by sending them all sorts of *~OhSoCraZy~* presents like a live rat, bullets, a dead hog, butt beads, condoms full of cum, etc…etc… But well, a ton of reviews are out and some critics think that Jared beat a hog to death with cum-filled condoms (that’s how the hog died, right?) for NOTHING, because The Joker is hardly in Suicide Squad and he hardly comes close to topping Heath Ledger’s Joker.
Here’s PLENTY of pics of Scott Eastwood living the life on a Miami Beach yesterday. The young Eastwood (his dad is the guy who talked to the chair at the Republican National Convention back in 2012) ran that ass along the beach, took a cooling dip in the water, and chatted up the ladies.
Scott and his people worked HARD to make Scott happen. They worked “need an internal organ” hard. It seems to have paid off. Sure, he looks like your standard swimsuit model from a Target circular, but he’s in some pretty big movies. He’s in the next Furious Fast Cars flick, and Suicide Squad, and Ben Affleck’s next directorial effort which hopefully, for Ben’s sake, doesn’t involve painful 3-hour long scenes of murky superheroes in CGI capes rueing the day they chose to fight crime until Wonder Woman shows up for 10 minutes to steal this awful movie. Although, it wasn’t that hard to steal. I fell asleep somewhere around when Jeremy Irons was obviously hating himself for taking a role in this pile of shit and woke up around the time dumb-ass Amy Adams threw the Kryptonite spear in the water and then had to go back in after it five minutes later. What an emotional arc her character went on.
Check out more pics of Scott Eastwood’s body in Miami below.
As if you couldn’t tell by the overall vibe from the picture above, here’s another one to throw on the “Famous people who hooked up at Coachella” pile. According to UsWeekly, the bro who looks like every dude folding jeans at Hollister Scott Eastwood and former Vampire Diaries star Nina Dobrev are possibly doing the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
Mia from Degrassi (RIP J.T.) and Clint Eastwood’s hot son were seen looking like more than friends last weekend at Coachella. One source says they were “getting very close” and acting “very flirty“, while another source claims they were “super cozy doing the bumper cars.” Scott sort-of slyly confirmed something was up between them when he posted a picture on Facebook of the two of them with the caption, “Having a fun time at Coachella with this vampire,” followed by the winky-face emoji. Well, that settles it. The winky emoji? Looks like we can go ahead and stamp SOLVED on this mystery.
I don’t know if Scott is an upgrade for Nina or not. Nina spent three years with Vampire Diaries co-star Ian Somethingorother. Then she was rumored to be doing Liam Hemsworth for a bit. At the very least, we now know she has a type. And that type is guys who look like come-to-life hunks from Dream Phone. As for Scott, all I really know about his dating history is that he used to date a girl who cheated on him with Ashton Kutcher.
Obviously the most important part of this story is that quote about Nina and Scott getting “super cozy” on the bumper cars. I mean, why didn’t I know that they had bumper cars at Coachella? This completely changes everything. All this time I’ve been turning up my nose at Coachella, like it was a Kardashian’s sweat-soaked butt pad. And here I go finding out that they have bumper cars, aka a drunk fool’s favorite carnival ride. What a fool I’ve been.
Here’s more of Nina hanging out with Josh Hutcherson (okay sure?) at Coachella last weekend. The reigning queen of Coachella, Vanessa Hudgens, better watch out, because Nina is one large silver ring away from stealing her crown.
Scott Eastwood and his Tiny Size Chiclets teeth are everywhere, because Hollywood is trying to make him happen and he’s pushing that latest Nicholas Sparks turd about the love struggles of pretty, young white people. Clint Eastwood’s child was on Watch What Happens Live last night with Duckie from Pretty In Pink. Duckie was asked if it was awkward working with Ashton Kutcher since both of them bumped fuck parts with Demi Moore. Jon Cryer answered the question and the moment was all about him until Scott Eastwood’s attention whore ass slid on in with his own Ashton Kutcher story. Jon Cryer was TRYING TO TELL A GODDAMN STORY (Copyright: Paula Abdul) and Scott Eastwood just had to swoop in and steal the spotlight. Story of Duckie’s life….
Scott said that his girlfriend at the time cheated on him by passing her pussy to Ashton Kutcher who was still married to Demi Moore. All the way back in the olden days of 2011, two chicks took a ride on Ashton’s douche stick after partying with him at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego. One of them sold her story to UsWeekly and spilled all the details including how Ashton spilled in her cooch since he didn’t wear a condom. She also later made a masterpiece confession video in a rented house. Scott also said that his friend’s girlfriend was the other chick Ashton boned that night. Ashton’s San Diego bareback fuck party was apparently one of the reasons why his and Demi’s marriage died. Scott says he isn’t mad at Ashton or his ex-girlfriend. Why would he be? Ashton’s wandering peen gave him a story to tell on a talk show while pushing his movie.
That thirsty “I ain’t one to gossip” screen shot on the video below tells you everything:
You can practically hear Scott Eastwood’s b-hole open as he squirts with excitement over finally getting to use that little nugget. So douchey… So smuggy… So smarmy… On that note, I’d definitely take The Longest Ride on that shit.
Here’s Scott Eastwood and his co-star Britt Robertson posing on the top of the Empire State Building yesterday.