I like how everyone in this picture is standing around looking at their feet, as if they’re completely mortified to be seen in public in such trashy company. Above, from left to not right, we’ve got 19-year-old apprentice celebrity mess Bella Thorne, her 24-year-old former actress sister Dani Thorne, and 33-year-old father of three Scott Disick. TMZ says they all boarded a plane together yesterday at LAX and headed off to Cannes. By the look of their outfits, it looks like Bella and Dani were flying high well before the plane left the ground.
Bella and Scott have been casually hanging out since last week, and now they’re in France together. Scott’s kids’ mom Kourtney Kardashian is also in Cannes with her younger boyfriend. I wonder how they explained their absence to their three kids? Actually, I bet Kris Jenner did it. “You see, your mommy and daddy have a very important job to do this week. They need to be seen acting like drunk messes in the same city at the same time with other desperate losers, otherwise they won’t get a story line for next season.”
Here’s more of everyone at LAX yesterday. There’s also pictures of Bella and Dani in Brooklyn on Saturday looking like a low-budget Edie Sedgwick impersonator getting kidnapped by Tinkerbell’s recently-paroled cousin.
Bella Thorne is Lindsay Lohan’s successor in meth (I meant to type “successor in messiness” but that works too) and Scott Disick is the Brandon Davis of our time (aka a glob of douche discharge that we’d all probably do and live to regret after getting our gonorrhea results from the free clinic), so these two train wrecks were bound to crash into each other. This is probably going to end with Scott calling Bella a “firecrotch” to the paparazzi as whoever is the Parasite Hilton of our time (Hailey Baldwin? The Cash Me Ousside Girl? jiffpom?) cackles behind him.
I don’t know for sure if that’s Blac Chyna’s face when she’s plotting her next diabolical move, but it seems like a completely appropriate reaction to the latest development in her fight against Tyga and Rob Kardashian.
Earlier this month, Chyna and Rob found themselves in the middle of an ugly custody battle. Most people don’t have the energy for one messy battle, but since Chyna thrives on drama, she’s gotten into a second one with Tyga. Chyna dragged Tyga on Snapchat, alleging he doesn’t pay child support. Now TMZ is saying that Chyna is afraid her kids’ fathers are teaming up to take her down. Don’t take it personally, Chyna – I’m sure they’re just taking orders from Pimp Mama Kris.
Sources tell TMZ that Tyga and Rob became close after Rob and Chyna’s relationship imploded. She now believes they’re ganging up and spreading lies about her. One such lie she heard was from Tyga. Sources say he was allegedly blabbing to his friends that Chyna called him recently and wanted to get back together.
TMZ says Chyna flipped out because that statement is about as real as her ass. She and Tyga rarely talk, and the only reason she called him was to demand he pay the nannies for their son, King. Tyga apparently misinterpreted the phone call and thought she wanted to talk about more than nannies (wink wink). Oh please, Tyga – YOU WISH. Literally the only reason anyone would call Tyga is to ask where their money is.
Here’s Tyga looking like a colorblind child who got dressed all by themselves while out shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday with Scott Disick.
The last time we checked in on the status of Scott Disick’s relationship with Kourtney Kardashian, they were reportedly back together. Since Scott and Kourtney get bored with each other like Kim Kardashian gets bored of whatever face she’s had for longer than a couple months, they’re currently off again. But now they’re really off, and it’s all thanks to Scott trying to pull a fast one on the Koven during their recent vacation on the island of Costa Rica.
Kris Jenner must be changing her Spanx every 20 minutes due to all the attention-triggered pee dribbles she’s been letting out over this week. First there were the arrests, and now there are charges. I bet she’s already contacted Ryan Murphy and asked how much he’d pay for the exclusive rights to a little script she’s thrown together called American Krime Story: Kim vs. The Jewelry Thieves. “And if you need someone to play the lead role, I’ve been told I’m a dead ringer for Kim!”
This leg of the story arc has lasted long enough for Pimp Mama Kris, so it looks like Kourtney Kardashian has reunited with the father of her children, Scott Disick. Scott and the kids are always Kourtney’s plot (What else would she do? Work?) and the rumors of their reunion have been swirling around for awhile. These two are all about being together “for the kids” and last month they did a family beach trip together. E! confirms the news that these two yo-yos, who have been on and off for years, aren’t living together but they’re definitely back together again.
One insider tells us, “They are back together and giving their relationship a try again.”
So what’s the cause of the rekindling? The source notes, “Scott’s mellowed out a lot and hasn’t been partying.”
Well, I guess it’s better than the last D she was rumored to be humping on (girl is into the Xtreme Turd type I see).
Kourtney and Scott might have the class of a TGI Friday’s bathroom conception, but they clearly have something together (a check from Ryan Seacrest). Props to Kourt-Kourt for pressing pause on this whole mess until Scott took his paws off the young models and dried out a bit. And yes, I did just compliment a Kardashian on her life choices. I’ll see myself out.