Category: Scary Shit

Brandy Had A Scary Moment Of Unconsciousness On A Plane Today (UPDATE)

June 2, 2017 / Posted by:

TMZ says that some in-flight drama happened on a Delta flight early this morning involving Brandy Norwood. 38-year-old Brandy was on a flight from LAX to JFK when she fell unconscious before the plane even pulled out of the gate. Oh no-to-the, e-to-the. Law enforcement sources say that Brandy’s fellow passengers and flight attendants rushed to her aid. The paramedics got her off the plane, and she regained full consciousness while being treated on the jetway.

A spokesperson for the Los Angeles Fire Department told People that units responded sometime after 6am to an “unspecified medical complaint,” and that an unknown number of passengers were transported to the hospital.

Last week Brandy was denying she was pregnant, which adds another layer of drama to all of this. KABC Los Angeles says that Brandy was taken to the Marina Del Rey Hospital.

The only real silver lining I can find in all of this, if I can even call it that, is that I had totally forgotten Brandy’s first cousin is Snoop Dogg. I feel like a visit from Snoop would make any hospital stay just a tiny bit better.

UPDATE: Brandy’s publicist has released a statement letting everyone know that Brandy is OK and she’s no longer sittin’ up in a hospital room.

“Brandy has been released from the hospital and is now at home resting. She has been traveling extensively as part of an ongoing tour and several personal appearances. In recent days she has taken more than 10 long haul flights including internationally. The stress of all of the traveling and working so incessantly has exhausted her. She will be relaxing for the next few days.”

Get some rest, Brandy.

Pic: Instagram

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No, The Terrifying Lucy Statue Has Not Been “Replaced”

August 8, 2016 / Posted by:

Since 2009, the Lucille Ball Memorial Park in her hometown of Celoron, NY has been free of birds, squirrels, dogs, cats, bees, flies, mosquitos, bunnies and humans not possessed by the devil and it was all because of a horrifying statue of her. No living thing dared to go near it. Over the weekend I saw headline after headline saying that the statue had been “replaced” and I thought that the Lucille Ball Memorial park must now be full of life, butterflies and sunshine again since that soul-murdering Lucy statue is gone. But it’s not gone. It continues to induce night terrors!

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Fake Uber Drivers Tried To Kidnap Kevin Smith’s Daughter

February 4, 2016 / Posted by:

The only traumatizing experience I’ve ever had with Uber was when an Uber driver played Hoobstank during the entire ride. No, I don’t know what Hoobastank songs sound like. I used Shazam to find out because I wanted to make sure I got all the details right when filing a police report against that Uber driver for attacking my ear drums like that. But I have heard a couple of scary Uber-related stories and Kevin Smith’s 16-year-old daughter Harley Quinn Smith (born name: Harley Quinn Smith) told one to her Instagram followers over the weekend. And yes, her real name is Harley Quinn Smith. I guess Kevin Smith and his wife really wanted a name that screamed, “MY PARENTS ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING NERDS ALIVE!” Now on to Harley’s Uber horror story….

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Justin Theroux Almost Died During His Honeymoon In Bora Bora

December 6, 2015 / Posted by:

During an appearance on Live! with Kelly and Michael on Friday, Justin Theroux admitted that Jennifer Aniston almost became a widow during their group honeymoon in Bora Bora, thanks to a scuba diving fuck-up. Justin says he had such a fun time looking for Nemo and Dory during a scuba diving excursion one day, that he decided to go back again the next day and bring some of his friends. This time though, they went much deeper and it wasn’t long before Justin realized that his oxygen supply was floating somewhere between “Uh oh” and “You’re fucked“. So he motioned to the instructor that it was time to haul ass to the surface.

Unfortunately, the instructor wasn’t the same one from the day before, and he didn’t really understand English, so communication wasn’t happening. Eventually Justin resorted to a game of panicky charades, and the instructor finally clued in. If you can believe it, this is where shit gets worse. The instructor then threw an emergency respirator into Justin’s mouth, but the only thing it filled him with was more water. You’d think Justin would be used to that feeling, on account of all the times Jenny has whipped out a bottle of SmartWater and started pouring it into his mouth (“Shut up and start chugging!“) after spotting a pap out of the corner of her eye. But no, he wasn’t expecting it. He also wasn’t expecting that his brain would pull on a tiny tinfoil hat and start thinking his near-death experience wasn’t an accident.

“Your brain goes into a crazy place. Oh my God, this is some plot to kill me.”

I’m sure one of the crazy places his brain went was trying to remember the name his diving instructor’s scuba license. “Oh my god, it was totally Bran J. Loonie, I’m sure of it.

One of the reasons why Justin says he couldn’t just swim up to the surface was that he was afraid of getting “the bends“, which the Internet tells me is decompression sickness. I guess the lack of oxygen caused Justin to forget that he was already equipped with a flotation device that was buoyant enough to bring him safely back up to the surface. Yes, I’m talking about the PFD in his pants. Next time, Justin. Next time.

Pic: Splash

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