The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Scarlett Johansson is going to get a huge ton of cash for working on the standalone Black Widow movie which recently got its director. According to THR, Scarlett’s salary is equal to what the delicious Captain of America, Chris Evans, and what the hunky God of Thunder and Muscle Mass, Chris Hemsworth, were paid for Avengers: Infinity War, Captain America: Civil War and Thor: Ragnarok. Scarlett will be earning a grandios $15 million for playing Black Widow in her own movie.
Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost have yet another set of precious memories to paste in their Celebrity Relationship Milestones book that your agent gives you when you hook up with another famous person.
Last night’s next step took place at the Emmys, where Colin co-hosted with his SNL Weekend Update partner Michael Che. Scarlett and Colin made their first official red carpet debut back in April at the Avengers: Infinity War premiere, then went a little fancier a month later at the Met Gala. Last night was their official awards show couples walk on the…what color would we call the Emmy’s carpet last night? Rice Krispy Treat beige? Sure.
Scarlett wore a Balmain dress, while Colin continued to look like that one groomsman at his high school buddy’s wedding who can’t wait to run to his car and trade in his dress shoes for sneakers. But all that really matters here is ScarJo’s dress, which looks what a housekeeper at a resort would do if asked to fold bath towels into a gown instead of a swan.
Once inside, it wasn’t about Scarlett anymore. Here’s Colin and Michael’s monologue, in which they began with a shout out to the #MeToo movement.
Then they went on to talk about TV’s diversity problem. That’s when I’m sure Scarlett considered standing up and volunteering her services as a recently-woke diversity expert. “Pro tip, television: In the event you do create more diverse characters, try not to hire people that look like me to play them.”
It’s that time of the year when the employees of Forbes magazine pull out their calculators and make us all feel poor. As you already know, this year the crown has been taken off the head of Emma Stone and placed onto that of Scarlett Johansson.
It would appear that whatever little voice was telling Scarlett Johansson to make some supremely questionable career decisions took a late lunch recently and forgot to come back. Because the voice that tells her to think twice about the consequences clearly got some one-on-one time and advised her to rethink that whole “playing a trans man who looks absolutely nothing like me” thing. Scarlett is no longer playing trans man Dante “Tex” Gill in Rub & Tug.
We are one step closer to seeing Scarlett Johansson kicking ass in a movie while giving me the bare minimum of emotional output and dressed in a black leather bodysuit. But don’t worry, she won’t be playing an Asian person. Not this time, anyway.
ScarJo… ScarJo… ScarJo…
It hasn’t even been a year since Scarlett Johansson had to shart up a bullshit response after she got dragged to and fro for whitewashing the lead role in Ghost in the Shell, a cinematic turd that caused a giant splash in the toilet bowl of box office bombs by flopping hard. ScarJo’s kink must be to piss people off with her role choices, because the Queen of Cinematic Appropriation is back at it. ScarJo has made a decision that’s almost as bad as her decision to continue to get her hair cut like Laura Bush if Laura Bush got a haircut from a drugged-up raccoon with arthritis.
ScarJo and her partner in pissing people off, Rupert Sanders, who directed Ghost in the Shell, are teaming up again for a story about a trans man. ScarJo is playing the trans man, and after getting dingles thrown at her for that decision, she decided it would be a very good idea to catch those dingles, set them on fire and throw them back.