Duchess Meghan is looking into doing her birth (gasp!) her way. She’s reportedly exploring the possibility of pushing out the seventh in line to The Crown at home and going the GOOP route by using a more holistic approach to keep the OUCHES at bay. And just like that, the labor and delivery wards of the UK are joining the media in proclaiming that Duchess Meghan ruins EVERYTHING.
Prince Williams’ Lawyers Are Trying To Stop The Rumor That He Had An Affair With Duchess Kate’s Best Friend
Hey pathetic commoners, hold on to your fascinator, clutch those pearls, and clench the ruby butt plug! What started as a little royal spat between Duchess Kate and her (former) bff, Rose Hanbury, has morphed into a full blown royal mess that the royal lawyers have to try to clean up.
Logan Marshall-Green’s Wife Diane Gaeta Called Out His Cheating Ways On Instagram After Filing For Divorce
If you’re saying “who?” over that headline like I did, let me assure you that this isn’t about that dickhead YouTuber or some amazing Logan’s Run sequel you’ve been waiting 40 years for (which is actually happening!). 42-year-old Logan Marshall-Green is an actor who just got figuratively John Bobbitt-ed by his now 38-year-old estranged wife Diane Gaeta over her public Instagram allegations of his cheating ways that led to her filing for divorce yesterday.
March, 12, 2019: The day that the definition of random was redefined with a story about a college admissions ESCANDALO involving Lynette Scavo (real name: Felicity Huffman) and Aunt Becky (real name: Lori Loughlin). This Desperate Housewives/Full House crossover where Lynette Scavo and Aunt Becky share a jail cell after getting taken away from their homes in handcuffs for allegedly paying bribes to get their children into college IS the weirdest reboot ever.
NBC News says that Felicity and Lori are among 40 who were indicted in a college entrance exam cheating scheme. They were both charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud. Cut to Aunt Becky’s TV husband Uncle Jesse letting out a “HAVE MERCY!” over having to bail her alleged cheating ass out.
I read this story about eight times yesterday at eight different sites, and unpacking it was like trying to unpack a messy suitcase while operating on 20 minutes of sleep at 3 in the morning after an 8-hour long flight where a baby screamed the entire way and the Ambien I took refused to work. I just wanted to close up my suitcase and eat a microwaved Marie Callender’s chicken pot pie while watching 90 Day Fiancé reruns. But here we are. This story involves an underage porn, blackmail, and the murder of an openly gay trap star. If you just can’t with any of this, and would rather watch the totally fake chancelta-throwing video that keeps landing in my inbox, here you go.
Jeff And MacKenzie Bezos Didn’t Have A Prenup, And His Wandering Peen May Be The Reason Why They’re Divorcing
Delicately-crafted lion floret Jocelyn Wildenstein currently holds the record for getting the biggest divorce settlement in history with a total of $3.8 billion (although she’s pretty much cash broke now and had to replace her usual kitty litter of crushed diamonds with Tidy Cats). But MacKenzie Bezos, wife of the richest man in the world, is easily going to take down that record, and she’s reportedly got some major ammunition in the form of loads that Jeff Bezos shot up into his side piece.
The direct opposite of shocking is that a 54-year-old billionaire cheated on his wife of 25 years. But what is shocking is that Jeff Bezos has been accused of cheating on 48-year-old MacKenzie with just one side ho (although, I just clicked one-day shipping while ordering a steel umbrella from Amazon, because I’m sure many, many side hos are going to fall from the sky). What also is shocking is that Jeff hasn’t been accused of cheating with a 20-year-old Sports Illustrated model who really gets him. Jeff has been accused of cheating with his wife’s 49-year-old friend Lauren Sanchez, who I haven’t thought about since she hosted the first season of So You Think You Can Dance in 2005.