Bachelor In Paradise is that overly served, boozed up trashy cousin from Tallahassee compared to the class act mess from Orlando that is The Bachelor/ette empire. But this year, it took a turn for the yikes when news surfaced former Bachelor contestant Corinne Olympios alleged that there was sexual assault by Bachelorette contestant DeMario Jackson. All they do on those sets is ply everyone with booze, so they go from being a bunch of boring hot people to human trains hurtling to the end of the rails while humping all over each other.
I remember when the word “scandal” really used to mean something. They used to involve murder, intrigue, the toppling of governments, cum stained dresses and coke cans full of pubic hairs. What passes for a scandal these is pathetic. Even when we have all the ingredients (the Russians, the cops, sex cults!), nothing ever seems to come of them. Well, today that all ends. Some Deep Throat motherfucker #tooktotwitter (#nevergonnagiveyouup) yesterday and delivered unto us the smoking gun: A video of Bella Thorne diddling herself and moaning something about a “frother.”
The NSFW video is after the jump!
There are a few things that should be disclosed early on in a sexual relationship. For me personally, I like to know if someone is prone to anything weird, like only answering to Shrek (I’m not against it, I just want a heads-up). Others are more concerned with stuff like whether or not the person they’re about to hook up with has herpes. That’s a pretty common one to disclose. Although according to Radar, not for Usher.
I promise I won’t fill this post with stupid and nonsensical “shook” puns like I did with the last one.
Prepare to be SHOOKus (I lied). When the news of Ben Affleck and his new girlfriend, SNL producer Lindsay Shookus, came out earlier today, X17 said that the two have a history and he was even humping on her while he was dating Jennifer Garner. Multiple sources are now telling both People and UsWeekly that Ben and Lindsay have been boning on the side for years while he was married to Jennifer and she was married to fellow SNL producer Kevin Miller. Somewhere, The Nanny is filling with sadness and is not feeling so special, because she probably thought she was Ben’s lone side trick.
Cristiano Ronaldo’s longtime football rival is Lionel Messi, and last year, Messy Messi was found guilty of tax fraud and sentenced to 21 months in the clink (he’s not going to jail and will serve probation instead). Well, here comes Crispy to show Messy Messi that he can do the tax evading thing better.
It’s kind of weird that today’s Comey Hearing wasn’t pushed to a later date so that the Hugs Hearings could go down, because I would think that all branches of government would want to get to the bottom of why Jerry Seinfeld didn’t want to hug Kesha. But my fellow non-hugger Jerry did talk to AJ Calloway from Extra and explained why he didn’t want to touch chests with that strange blond fan.