Category: Sarah Palin

After Contracting COVID-19, Sarah Palin Warns Against The Dangers Of Not Wearing A Mask

April 1, 2021 / Posted by:

Well, this is a PLOT TWIST. Former reality star Sarah Palin (remember her?) has come out as pro-mask and pro-vaccine. And while Sarah Palin hasn’t exactly been caught throwing down at a Walmart after she was told to wear a mask, she did support a Dallas salon owner who refused to close during stay-at-home orders last May. But now Sarah is all about masks and the vaccine and the reason is that coronavirus caught a case of Sarah Palin and it fucked with her health.

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Coronavirus Has Come For Tom Hanks And Rita Wilson

March 11, 2020 / Posted by:

In case you couldn’t tell from everyone’s mom, auntie, sister, brother, uncle, dad, grandpa, grandma, cousin, gynecologist, favorite barista, weed man, and everybody else not named Henry Winkler forming a prayer circle around a St. Hanks candle, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have both tested positive for coronavirus. This is the worst Tom Hanks-related news since we all found out he was half responsible for inflicting Chet Haze upon the world.

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Halle Berry Took A Swipe At Her Distant Relative, Sarah Palin

March 8, 2020 / Posted by:

And now for something completely different…

I was today years old when I found out that Oscar-winning beauty Halle Berry is related to Sarah Palin. Now, that’s on me because apparently Halle went public with this gross factoid back in 2012––how that story didn’t make a louder toilet splash is beyond me. If you hadn’t heard about this, I’m sorry to be breaking it to you this way. But there is a little poetic justice that goes along with this, albeit 8 years later.

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The Palin Clan Is About To Grow Even Larger

May 28, 2019 / Posted by:

Sarah Palin is pouring herself an extra-strong moose-mosa today, because she’s about to be a grandma for the sixth and seventh time. She’s probably already on Amazon searching for little tiny blinged-out Ski-Doo jackets for her future lil’ slednecks. She better keep a tab open so that when those babies are born, they can pick themselves up a couple of onesies that read: In Case I Get Lost During A Messy Family Party, Please Return Me To ____.

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Sacha Baron Cohen Said Sarah Palin Wasn’t Funny In Unused “Who Is America” Footage

December 20, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s not like Dick Cheney was known for being barrel of laughs, but in the eyes of Sacha Baron Cohen, Dick is apparently the Don Rickles of the Executive Branch. When Sarah Palin came out saying she had been duped into giving an interview to some SBC character for a fake documentary, most of us gleefully squealed over what Wasilla’s Wonder Woman was going to do to make her look even more dumb. Who Is America? premiered, and each episode went by with no Sarah. Her interview was never used, and she was only mentioned in a credit of the last episode as “Special Publicity Consultant (Inadvertent).” Sacha says that’s because she’s not funny.

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Sacha Baron Cohen Wants To Take Sarah Palin To The Golden Globes

December 6, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s awards season in Tinseltown, which means Fox News writers are giddily pre-writing all their stories on how left wing California actors are taking a giant poop on their moral ways. Enter: Sacha Baron Cohen. The prankster really got under Trump supporter skin this year for Who Is America? The mockumentary somehow managed to bamboozle Dick Cheney into signing a waterboarding kit, got Roy Moore to stand in front of a pedophile meter, and got free press from Sarah Palin (no, that’s not her next to him in the pic above) without her making the cut. Naturally, the Hollywood Foreign Press awarded that with a Golden Globe nomination, and Sacha wants to thank Sarah by taking her as his date.

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