We may have been spared from another terrible Sex And The City movie (thanks, Kim Cattrall!), but it seems like that isn’t going to keep Sarah Jessica Parker from being a grown-ass woman in a tutu who talks in puns and start sentences with “I couldn’t help but wonder…” SJP Instagrammed a video over the weekend and confirmed Carrie is coming back for a “brief reappearance.” Ugh, reading that has me feeling like my lunch is about to make a brief reappearance, too.
The Samantha Jones we know and love hates children, and so she would never text with a kid, and she would definitely never sext with one. But if Satan got his way and the Sex and the City 3 movie was made and came out, we’d see Miranda Hobbes’ now 14-year-old son Brady, who looks like this now (and strangely enough he looks like the ginger love child of Cynthia Nixon and Rojo Caliente), sending dick pics to Samantha. Samantha looking at child porn sent to her by a teenager she knew as a kid gets 5 out of 5 Not Amused While Drinking Wine Samanths from me:
People are still licking their wounds over a lost paycheck from Sex And The City 3 getting the kibosh. Kim Cattrall did us all a solid by saying she didn’t want anything to do with a third movie. Or she did but had demands for other movies unrelated to Sex that nobody wanted to do, and that’s why it got shelved. Either way, Kim is why there isn’t a third movie, and they should honestly erect a giant statue in her honor. Her old castmates don’t exactly agree, and they’re still blabbing about why it never happened. One new reason that just dropped is they were going to kill of Chris Noth’s Mr. Big early in the film, and Kim didn’t like how it was going to be all about how Carrie recovered. Yet again – even more reason not to make it!
While most of us who watched the horrendous second Sex And The City Movie did the happiest of happy dances when Kim Cattrall refused to do a third, I guess there still people Samantha Jones-ing (yuk yuk) for more. A few of the lesser cast members lost their collective shit over the chance for a check that wasn’t coming from a role in a commercial for arthritis medication. Fans have also been upset, and one point blank asked Sarah Jessica Parker to write Samantha off or replace her and still do the movie. SJP isn’t so convinced.
Sarah Jessica Parker has been accused of a lot of things. Being anal as fuck, being a huge bitch with a terrible personality (we see you, Kim Cattral) and even a snobby shoe saleswoman. Well, add another to the list: Jewel Thief.
According to Page Six, Sarah is being accused by jewelry brand Kat Florence Design of stealing accessories from them worth $149,501.96. Oh, bitch, you know they’re serious because they added that 96 cents! Didn’t even round up! That’s pointed.
You know this is subtle shade directed towards the creator of Not Kim Cattrall’s Next Best Friend Race. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, videographic cock blocker Sarah Jessica Parker expressed her many thoughts on her most famous work – Sex and the City. She feels that the show didn’t age that well. And no, she didn’t mean that because,by the last movie, Industrial Light and Magic had been hired to attempt to make the cast not look their ages.