Sarah Jessica Parker has been accused of a lot of things. Being anal as fuck, being a huge bitch with a terrible personality (we see you, Kim Cattral) and even a snobby shoe saleswoman. Well, add another to the list: Jewel Thief.
According to Page Six, Sarah is being accused by jewelry brand Kat Florence Design of stealing accessories from them worth $149,501.96. Oh, bitch, you know they’re serious because they added that 96 cents! Didn’t even round up! That’s pointed.
You know this is subtle shade directed towards the creator of Not Kim Cattrall’s Next Best Friend Race. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, videographic cock blocker Sarah Jessica Parker expressed her many thoughts on her most famous work – Sex and the City. She feels that the show didn’t age that well. And no, she didn’t mean that because,by the last movie, Industrial Light and Magic had been hired to attempt to make the cast not look their ages.
Kim Cattrall was right! Her former Sex and the City co-star Sarah Jessica Parker IS that “positivity on the outside/heartless evil cackling within” chick that she’s accused her of being. The Blast reports that SJP got snippy at a shoe event after discovering that a 14-year boy was filming her without her express permission. It’s shoes, it’s not like the young man was filming you on the can, SJP.
The Met Gala isn’t a human and isn’t even alive, and yet, that bitch is still getting more action than me.
The theme for the Met’s costume exhibit is Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and Catholic Imagination, but the dress code for the Gala was “Sunday best.” Now, my Sunday best is a faded black Dollywood t-shirt and some Fruit of the Loom sweat shorts covered with chicharron crumbs, wine splatters and lube drops from snacking, boozing and watching porn on my couch. But I guess “Sunday best” to famous rich hos is a crown that weighs more than their head and all of the fabric found in the “Perfect For Granny’s Living Room Curtains” section at Hobby Lobby.
If you ask Kim Cattrall, I’m sure she’d say that her greatest, most challenging acting role of her career was the one where she acted like she didn’t want to spit into Sarah Jessica Parker’s cosmo while filming Sex and the City. But if you ask Sarah Jessica Parker, like Vulture recently did, that smile plastered on her face in the pic above is anything but fake. SJP denies that the claws ever came out during the filming of SATC or after.
Just this morning, Sarah Jessica Parker officially endorsed Cynthia Nixon for Governor of New York. It took her a minute to make her approval Instagram official, but she got there. SJP may still have beef with Kim Cattrall but it seems that Cynthia is A-OK in her book. Phew, Cynthia can move forward now that she’s secured the only endorsement that counts (suck it, Oprah. Don’t nobody need you here!).