Category: Sarah Harding
Sarah Harding Of Girls Aloud Has Died At 39 From Cancer
It looks like it is a weekend of sadness. Just a year after Sarah Harding of the British girl group Girls Aloud announced that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and it had spread to other parts of her body, she has died two months before her 40th birthday at the way, way, way, way, way, (insert a million more “ways” here) too young age of 39.
Sarah Harding Of Girls Aloud Reveals Breast Cancer Diagnosis And Says It’s Spread
Sarah Harding made a depressing revelation on her Instagram today by announcing that she was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago, and in even more depressing news, she found out a couple of weeks ago that the cancer has spread to other parts of her body. Fucking cancer–you sonofamonster! If cancer was a person they’d be less likable than Piers Morgan.
Down She Goes!
HAHAHAHAHA! Right? If you laughed until you farted like I did, then you too are a dead hearted evilian, because the girl died after this fall.
Of course, she didn’t. It’s not like she had that far to fall. Besides, she probably just had a knee scrape and those give you character. Any self-respecting mega slut works very hard to earn knee medals (that’s we call them) like that and this ho got some in a matter of seconds.
The girl went sidewalk diving while leaving a Brit Awards after-party with Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud. Here’s some pictures documenting the LOLworthy fall. Why is a bitch falling always so fucking funny? Watch, when I get up after this to go get a Pop Tart, I’m totally going to trip and bust my ass bone.
They Obviously Want A Free Bottle Of Dr. Pepper
I was in line at Best Buy yesterday waiting to pay for some dumb crap and I was browsing the new CDs they try to sell your ass before you get to the register. I noticed the new Guns N’ Roses album, so I picked it up and said out loud, “I heard this was a piece of trash.” The dude in front of me was holding the CD and gave me a look that made my toe nails fall off. It was a “I want to butt fuck you with a hot hammer” kind of look. I’m not fucking sorry that I hurt his feelings, because he had a long ass, curly ponytail with blonde highlights in it. I’m sorry, but you deserve to get your feelings hurt if you have one of those.
Anyway, that shit came out yesterday after 15-years in the making and China is not happy about it! One of the newspapers published by the Communist Party said the album is an attack on their nation. From what I’ve heard it’s also an attack on ear drums. The article says that “unidentified Chinese Internet users had described the album as part of a plot by some in the West to grasp and control the world using democracy as a pawn.” The article also said that the record “turns its spear point on China.”
Obviously, they want a free bottle of Dr. Pepper. That shit will make them happy. A bottle of Dr. Pepper with a little bottle of Everclear. That shit is good.
And if you haven’t registered for your free coupon to get a 20 oz. bottle of Dr. Pepper yet, you can do so until 6pm today here. And yes, I still bought the album even though I slagged it off! Well, I wanted my free shit of Dr. P!
Robot Call Girl Double-Booked!
Page Six has a little update on everyone’s least-favorite robot call girl who fucked up the chance of a lifetime. Sarah Larson has moved on from George Clooney and is dating some Las Vegas promoter who goes by the name of Joey Vanas. Yup, that tidbit is about as interesting as your first morning piss. Although, the first morning piss is pretty great.
However, Page Six also claims Robot Call Girl cheated on Clooney in Las Vegas. She’s a double-booker! Isn’t that a hooker no no? A rebel call girl! A source said that while she was with Clooney, she “came to Vegas for a weekend and cheated on him with a media mogul.” Oprah! How could you do that to Clooney?!
What was Robot Call Girl supposed to do? It’s not like Clooney was lubing up her parts. I’m a little curious as to who this “media mogul” is. Although, the better question would probably be: “Who in Las Vegas hasn’t tapped her hardrive?”
Save The Carpenters’ Home!
Karen and Richard Carpenters’ former home in Downey, CA is in danger of getting the chop. The home is where the two wrote a lot of their songs and it was the cover of their album “Now & Then.” It was also where Karen collapsed in 1983 before passing away.
The home’s current owners, Manuel and Blanca Melendez Parra, want to bulldoze the house down and build a new one, because they are sick of being bothered by Carpenters’ fans. The Parra family said that when they first bought the house they allowed the fans in, but it became too much. “In the beginning, we let everybody in. But honestly, it became horrible, not only for us but for the neighborhood. People peek in windows and take pictures. They leave flowers on the front porch.” Free flowers? Where’s the problem?
Carpenters’ fans are protesting the demolition and have asked the city of Downey to make the home a historical landmark. One fan said, “This house is our version of Graceland. When they photographed the ‘Now & Then’ cover here in 1973, the house was instantly immortalized.”
We’ve only just begun, Blanca! All these fans needs to do is ask Blanca to give them the house and they can move it somewhere else and turn it into a museum or something. This sounds like a job for Ty Pennington and Extreme Home Makeover.