It’s a bit redundant to say so, because aren’t all award shows just an excuse for fashion houses to clean out their local Fabric Barn and send a famous person down the carpet in more material than a 1980s canopy bed set? But the Emmys did see a lot of by-the-yardage last night, like on Jessica Biel, who said yes to a white Ralph & Russo dress. If you think Jessica and Justin Timberlake look like they stopped by the Emmys on their way to appearing on the top of a wedding cake, you’re not the only one.
It’s been awhile since we heard the faintest peep regarding serial masturbating menace Louis C.K., and it almost seemed like he was about to disappear into the annals of #MeToo history. His only real recent defender was Dave Chappelle, which was a real grain-of-salt endorsement, considering his iffy thoughts about Bill Cosby. At the time of the allegations (and subsequent confirmation), Louis’ old pal Sarah Silverman admitted she was “very angry” but also asked: “Can you love someone who did bad things?” Sarah recently spoke to GQ about her friend Louis, and it would appear she’s found the answer to her question.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder but you know what else it can make grow? Pussy cobwebs and dick dust! Brassy American broad Sarah Silverman and her British thespian boyfriend Michael Sheen broke up over a month ago due to geographical difficulties. Sarah recently made the announcement on Twitter to stop people from constantly asking her “so, how’s Michael?”.
But of course this could only be Lady Gaga. While others might think, “You know, maybe this year I’ll walk up the red carpet in a piece that makes it looks like I’m trying to cover up all the hair I lost after leaving my at-home highlighting kit on for too long,” Lady Gaga goes out and does it. She tells her stylist to make her look like a 73-year-old balding hippie who refuses to face the music about their hair situation, and she wears it with pride! As for her outfit, well that’s another story all together.
We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that.
“Oh, so that’s what I looked like when a boyfriend dragged me to an Uncle Kracker concert in 2003” is what I thought while watching Susan Sarandon’s face go on a journey from “fuck this” to “no, really fuck this” to “no, no, really fuck. this.” in a matter of seconds while sitting in the audience at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia last night.