It’s a bit redundant to say so, because aren’t all award shows just an excuse for fashion houses to clean out their local Fabric Barn and send a famous person down the carpet in more material than a 1980s canopy bed set? But the Emmys did see a lot of by-the-yardage last night, like on Jessica Biel, who said yes to a white Ralph & Russo dress. If you think Jessica and Justin Timberlake look like they stopped by the Emmys on their way to appearing on the top of a wedding cake, you’re not the only one.
Queer mafia leader Ryan Murphy better get down on his knees and thank Gay Jesus, because his #1 star is returning to the show that made him great. Variety reports that, during the TCA summer press tour on Friday, American Horror Story’s second-in-command Sarah Paulson announced that Jessica Lange would be returning to the show for its eighth season, AHS: Apocalypse. She’ll be reprising her role as Season One’s nosy neighbor and grandmother of evil, Constance Langdon. So we won’t get the classic “knotty pinnnnneeee?!?!“, but we might get withering put-downs to ghost maids and burnt people. Good enough!
Reboot-a-palooza continues on the silver screen this summer with the upcoming Ocean’s 8, a lady-led spinoff of Ocean’s 11. The film drops this Friday, and co-stars Cate Blanchett and Sarah Paulson dropped by Today this morning to promote it. Their snarky banter, laying their awards dicks on the table, and mom jokes made Hoda Kotb laugh so hard that her co-host Savannah Guthrie had to come out and help her finish the interview. At least, that’s what they’re saying, but I think Hoda was crying over lack of job security since Cate and Sarah were twice as messed in the head as she normally is during the fifteenth hour with Kathie Lee Gifford. Continue reading
There were some real upside down and sideways looks on display at the The Council of Fashion Designers of America awards in NYC last night. Most notably Whoopi Goldberg giving us Little Bo Peep who lost her sheep and was forced to go to the big city and take out a bank loan for more, wearing her best Big Business suit. The added bonus of that suit is that those giant bell bottoms probably ring so damn loud, the sheep should have no problem finding their way back home.
Other notable looks included: Cate Blanchett‘s tuxedo/ baked potato/ butcher’s apron combo, and the night’s host Issa Rae’s belt that read “Every Nigga Is A Star”. All of those looks and more are in the gallery but for now, we’ve got plenty of high fashion to keep us in “what is going on here”s for a week.
Angelina Jolie Decided To Fulfill Someone’s Feathered 60s Fantasy Last Night (And Other Looks From The Golden Globes)
Almost everyone who walked the Golden Globes red carpet this year wore black to protest Hollywood’s sexual misconduct problem. One thing that wasn’t being protested was good taste. There were a lot of black velvet outfits on that red carpet. Sure, it’s a bit of an obvious choice, but a choice I was absolutely here for, because anything that makes my brain start blasting “Black Velvet” by Alannah Myles gets two thumbs up from me.
But some people went a little more experimental with their all-black interpretation. Like Angelina Jolie, who showed up to the Golden Globes in some goth Lawrence Welk Show realness by Atelier Versace. It’s a little Barbra Streisand at the 1969 Oscars, with a splash of 60s televangelist, all poured onto a fainting couch and garnished with, “But detective, I swear my husband was dead when I found him!”
The vaginas are coming! The vaginas are coming! The trailer for the long awaited (ok, sustained indifferenced) Ocean’s 8 is here and it’s got more vaginas than a Amazonian gynecology conference! As expected, it stars Sandra Bullock as the titular Ocean (1) and includes Cate Blanchett as some kind of badass (2), Mindy Kaling as some kind of jeweler (3), Rihanna as some kind of hacker (4), Helena Bonham Carter as Helena Bonham Carter (5), Sarah Paulson as a suburban mom with a criminal past (6), Awkwafina as a street grifter (don’t ask me I have no idea who she is either, 7) and that’s only 7 so what the fuck? Yes, Anne Hathaway is in it but she appears to be the target so I’m confused.