White House fuckery apologist Sarah Huckabee Sanders must realize that her monotone, dead-eyed defense of her menacing buffoon boss’ every lie has earned her the scorn and ridicule of a chunk of the nation. That’s probably why she didn’t kick her comfy shoes from Clarks into high gear and exit the White Correspondents’ Dinner last night. Sarah stayed put as the night’s emcee Michelle Wolf from The Daily Show did a whole routine on her and POTUS last night. Michelle dragged Trump and his crew up and down that room. According to Vulture, many Trump officials walked out in protest and Michelle is being alternately celebrated/excoriated on social media this morning. Judging by their track record so far, this is probably one administration that should be able to take a joke.
When Jim Carrey presented his latest artwork over the weekend, it wasn’t met with the same kind of applause George W. Bush gets for his finger paintings. Instead, a lot of people took umbrage that his portrait of a “so-called Christian” looked eerily reminiscent of the White House press briefing room possum Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and now think the only job Jim is qualified for is sandwich boy at Quiznos so long as he doesn’t try and squirt any liberal snowflake sauce on their six-inch sub! Continue reading
Poor Michael Cohen. He likely fucked up big time at work by botching the his assignment to shut down President Donald Trump‘s alleged ex-side piece, Stormy Daniels, with an NDA. I’m sure it’s not entirely his fault, his asshole of a boss probably didn’t give him the tools (poor Michael was scrounging around the backseat of his Subaru looking for loose change for that payout) or the authority (Donny didn’t sign, Michael should have told him it was an “autograph”) he needed to get an airtight NDA out of Stormy (stage name), aka Stephanie Clifford (government name), aka Peggy Peterson (pseudonym) aka Whatever Fucked Up Sex Time Name Donald Had For Her I Don’t Even Want To Know (pet name).
Sure, President You-Know-Who is in the crosshairs of one giant bowl of shit borscht with that Russian ESCANDOLO. But the real scandal in the Trump White House has been over whether or not Sarah Huckabee Sanders can make anything other than reservations. Over Thanksgiving, Sarah sent out a tweet talking about how she got back in the kitchen to bake a chocolate pecan pie for her family. A bunch of people must have figured Sarah is good for one thing only (propaganda), because Twitter pulled a collective “Sure, Jan” at the thought of Sarah actually being able to bake something like that.
I am not trying to be funny but folks are already saying #piegate and #fakepie Show it to us on the table with folks eating it and a pic of you cooking it. I am getting the biggest laugh out of this. I am thankful for this laugh on Black Friday! https://t.co/ifeSBlSZW7
— AprilDRyan (@AprilDRyan) November 24, 2017
The New York Post reports Sarah attempted to clap back at her haters (but especially American Urban Radio Network reporter April Ryan) by showing up to the annual White House press potluck on Thursday with four chocolate-pecan pies that she baked all by herself (or at least she carefully took them out of the Costco box they came in).