Category: Sara Gilbert
The “Roseanne” Minus Roseanne Spin-Off Is Close To Being Confirmed
Roseanne Barr’s holy conscious may finally be cleared, everyone! No, not because she’s stopped being offensive, racist or crazy–that’s not what’s been keeping her up at night. Roseanne (pictured above with the one black person she knows, 8-year-old co-star, actress Jayden Rey) no longer needs to worry her pure soul about putting a bunch of wealthy Caucasian actors out of work: the Roseanne spinoff is close to confirmed!
ABC Is Reportedly Ready To Announce A “Roseanne” Spin-Off Starring Sara Gilbert
Not long after ABC canceled their highly-rated Roseanne revival, there was news that it could possibly be re-tooled to focus on Darlene, played by Sara Gilbert. According to TMZ, ABC is basically gargling with salt water and practicing “unique New York” in the mirror right now, because they could announce the Darlene spin-off sometime this week.
Roseanne Barr Begged ABC Not To Dump Her Show, And There’s A Chance They’ll Bring It Back Without Her
It took Mickey Mouse approximately forty-five seconds to gather one of his biggest cash cows, the Roseanne revival, and shoot it out back after Roseanne Barr earned a place as KKK Monthly’s Person of the Year by comparing Valerie Jarrett to an ape. Even though Roseanne could’ve brought in $65 million in ad sales for its second season, ABC canceled it after one of its producers Wanda Sykes washed her hands of it and several cast members clutched their pearls while cooing, “I do declare, I am disgusted that Roseanne tweeted the kind of tweet she’s tweeted many times over the years!” Roseanne tweeted yesterday that she begged ABC to keep the show, and now TMZ is saying that ABC may keep the show but it’ll be Roseanne without Roseanne. So, NOseanne, I guess.
Roseanne Barr Got Dropped By Her Talent Agency Too
Even though a stream of chunky fucked-up shit has spewed out of Roseanne Barr’s Twitter hole for years, ABC still brought her back to star in the revival of Roseanne, which turned out to be a big hit for them and got renewed for a second season. Roseanne Barr was back!!! All she really had to do was not say anything racist on Twitter, but she just couldn’t help herself, and ABC shit-canned Jabba the Trump’s second favorite comedy after Fox & Friends. Well, if the KKK wants to book Roseanne as headliner of their annual KKKomedy Festival, they’re going to have to go directly through her, because her talent agency has also announced that they’re done with her.
Open Post: Hosted By The First Picture From The “Roseanne” Revival
All together now: WHERE ART THOU FUCKING CRYSTAL?
29 years ago today, Roseanne debuted on ABC, and… wait, hold up for a second. I have to buzz my nurse to bring me a fresh big boy nappy along with my lunch of blended peas porridge. I made a poopy in the diaper she put on me this morning. And yes, I’m writing this from a nursing home since I’m old. I’m “I remember watching Roseanne’s pilot episode” old.
The “Roseanne” Revival Will Act Like Dan Conner Never Died
This is good news, because John Goodman playing the wise-cracking ghost of sexy everyman dad, Dan Conner, would have been a disaster on par with that final season lottery dream mess.
Roseanne’s infamous (as in infamously terrible) final season ended with the revelation that husband Dan actually hadn’t survived his heart attack. The show is coming back to ABC for an eight-episode stint, and TV Line reports that they’re going to make like none of that ever happened. Continue reading