There was a lot of messy fashion at the SAG Awards last night (prepare yourself accordingly after that jump below!). But obviously any effort that was put in was immediately cancelled out the second Kate Hudson returned to the scene of last year’s fashion crime and fully outdid herself in a fluffy Valentino vision of countrified love. I say love because, duh, the hearts a’plenty, but also because I love this dress. What’s not to love? Black velvet (check), pink beauty pageant chiffon (check), a high-lace neckline with corresponding bib of ruffles (checking furiously). The only thing missing is a pink parasol. Kate probably left it in the limo for fear of being mistaken for Miley Cyrus in a knock-off production of My Fair Lady called Decent Lookin’ Gal.
Here’s who else showed up and sizzled eyeballs with style.
Hollywood decided to wear black at the Golden Globes last Sunday night in silent protest of the industry’s sexual assault problem. But four days later, most Hollywood people at the Critics’ Choice Awards went with color.
Kate Bosworth didn’t wear color, but she did wear a mess. Kate is wearing a dress by Brock Collection, but if I hadn’t been told who made her dress, I’d assume she went into a formal event showroom on a particularly dry day, collected too much static electricity while trying on a bridal gown with her socks on, and accidentally left the store with a child’s christening gown that was stuck to her. The best part is that the fun didn’t end when Kate turned around.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; if you’ve worked with Woody Allen, have a damn answer at the ready when some journo sticks a mic in your face! Greta Gerwig was the latest celebrity to get caught on the back foot during a backstage press thingy at the Golden Globes when she was asked the inevitable question of how she feels about having worked with Woody.
Angelina Jolie Decided To Fulfill Someone’s Feathered 60s Fantasy Last Night (And Other Looks From The Golden Globes)
Almost everyone who walked the Golden Globes red carpet this year wore black to protest Hollywood’s sexual misconduct problem. One thing that wasn’t being protested was good taste. There were a lot of black velvet outfits on that red carpet. Sure, it’s a bit of an obvious choice, but a choice I was absolutely here for, because anything that makes my brain start blasting “Black Velvet” by Alannah Myles gets two thumbs up from me.
But some people went a little more experimental with their all-black interpretation. Like Angelina Jolie, who showed up to the Golden Globes in some goth Lawrence Welk Show realness by Atelier Versace. It’s a little Barbra Streisand at the 1969 Oscars, with a splash of 60s televangelist, all poured onto a fainting couch and garnished with, “But detective, I swear my husband was dead when I found him!”
Actors hungry for that Oscar prepared for hustling season last night by Spanx-ing up their bodies, saying goodbye to real food for a couple of months and gargling with lemon-infused hot water so their voices are moistened up enough for them to talk, talk and talk about how much they suffered while playing the role they should win all the awards for. Of course I’m not lumping Laurie Metcalf with those actors. She doesn’t have to do all that shit, because she’s Laurie Fucking Metcalf and if she wants respect, all she has to do is say, “I played Aunt Jackie in Roseanne.”
Awards season officially started last night with the opening of The Palm Springs International Film Festival, where Jessica Chastain (Chairman’s Awards), everyone involved with The Shape of Water (Vanguard Award), Allison Janney (Spotlight Award), Gary Oldman (Desert Palm Achievement Award, Actor), Mary J. Blige (Breakthrough Performance Award), Holly Hunter (Career Achievement Award), Timothée Chalamet (Rising Star Award), Willem Dafoe (Icon Award) and more were honored.
Laurie Metcalf was there to honor her Lady Bird co-star Saoirse Ronan with the Desert Palm Achievement Award, Actress. We already knew this, but Aunt Jackie is a saint. I mean, she showed up to an award show to give someone else a trophy instead of getting one. A 20-year-old model is probably trapped under a passed out Leonardo DiCaprio right now, because he fainted over the thought of that.
Not only did Laurie Metcalf show up to honor someone else, but she brought the glamour too by wearing what a 90s Taco Bell would wear if it was turned into a human and became the leader of a new age cult.
Here’s more from last night, and you can stop after Suzanne Somers, because the star power and glamour does downhill from there.
On Saturday Night Live last night, Alec Baldwin made his 987,829th appearance as Jabba the Trump (in a skit that also featured an appearance by Beck Bennett’s Putin nips), but the skit that’s really making the rounds today is the sexual harassment pop anthem called Welcome To Hell that was cooed out by the women of SNL and Saoirse Ronan (who gave me baby Erika Jayne meets baby Baby Spice. So Fetus Spice, basically).