And this post is going to be extraordinarily complimentary of witches because I don’t want piles, my car to explode, or Trump winning another election. A beautiful obviously misunderstood real-life witch supposedly placed a real-life curse on Practical Magic, the movie where Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock played witch sisters who liked margaritas. The book was good but the movie was incomprehensible to critics and considered a flop despite a healthy showing at the box office. Since then, it’s become sort of a cult classic. Practical Magic director Griffin Dunne did an interview with Vulture, where he explained that this movie got savaged by the critics because of a witch he hired as a consultant. That poor witch! Getting blamed for Griffin’s ineptitude! Leave witches alone
OR THEY WILL CURSE YOU AND YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE WILL DIE! Continue reading
Ever since Sandra Bullock packed up her things and got the hell out of Jesse James’ chopper-building swastika-loving life in 2010, she left all comments about him in the past. Jesse James, on the other hand, just can’t quite stop talking about his Oscar-winning ex-wife. Two years ago, Jesse boo-hoo-hoo’ed about his failed marriage and loss of their son Louis. And he’s doing it again.
On the left is Cate Blanchett who hasn’t yet let it sink in that a hot new talent has arrived on the scene and soon her career will be over. On the right is Sandra Bullock who has let it sink in that a hot new talent has arrived on the scene and soon her career will be over.
The all-lady Ocean’s spin-off movie titled Ocean’s Eight has started filming in NYC, and today, Cate and Sandra were getting ready to shoot a scene when an attention whore in a ball cap and red chaps rolled on by. If the director knows what’s good, he would’ve immediately cast that pooch in a cameo as Brad Pitt’s character. That pooch probably works for cheaper and it definitely has more charisma and less fleas than Brad.
And yes, Benji’s attention-loving, only child cousin stole the scene from Cate and Sandra, but in their defense, that pooch could steal the scene from absolutely anything and anyone. If a naked Prince Hot Ginge was balancing a Double-Double on his peen and that pooch rolled on by, I’d stop for at least half-a-second to awww at it before going back to PHG.
“Just text an offer to every actress, singer, comedian, rapper, etc. out there and the first 8 to hit us back with a thumbs-up emoji, gets a role” is probably what the producers and director of Ocean’s 8 said while casting. Because they put together a motley crew of HUH? that includes Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, RiRi, TEEFS, Helena Bonham Carter, Mindy Kaling and a rapper/actress who goes by Awkwafina (born name: Nora Lum). Yes, Awkwafina is a name that somebody chose to go by. Phoebe Price isn’t in it, but I slipped her portrait in, because I felt like that line-up needed some real A-list star power, charisma and ginger glamour. Like the producers can afford her day rate!
A couple of months ago, Radar said that America’s former sweetheart (1995-2009) Sandra Bullock adopted a little girl. At the time, Sandy B was really careful with her words and only said that she has one adopted child, her 5-year-old son Louis, living in her house and if she adopted another one, she’d tell everyone. Well, now she’s telling everyone on the cover of People that she has adopted a 3-year-old named Laila (pronounced Lila). Laila was in foster care in Louisiana. Laila & Louis sounds like the name of a local morning talk show where Louis says crazy, zany things and Laila always rolls her eyes at him while sipping from a mug of tea. I hope that morning talk show happens and I hope they take Live! With Kelly And Michael out!
By “it,” I’m not talking about that poster. I’m also not talking about Billy Bob Thornton’s sixth wife Connie Angland. I’m also also not talking about that ball of lit-up dildos in the background. (Although, I’d totally hit every piece of that.) I’m talking about Billy Bob Thornton himself.
Last night was the Hollywood premiere of Our Brand Is Oscar Bait and Billy Bob Thornton really overdressed for it. It’s just a damn stupid premiere for a stupid movie. He didn’t have to go all out like that. I’m sure the other dudes there shrank into a pile of inadequacy when they saw BBT looking like he was about to have caviar and champagne with THE QUEEN. USA Today asked Billy Bob why he showed up dressed like a hip old dude trying to fit in with the youngins’ at a small town gay bar and he said that it’s simple. He’s all out of two things: Shirts with sleeves and fucks to give.
“Every time I try to dress up, I get there and go ‘Why did I dress up?’. I don’t think it matters. And this is kinda the way I dress, so I figure, come as myself.”
Billy Bob’s look is a little bit “lazy Linda Perry cosplay” and equal parts “truck stop ladies bathroom peeping tom” and “Florida meth dealer who also sings the lead in a Buckcherry cover band.” Usually, I’d be into those looks, but no, I would not hit it. I have furniture in my bedroom that was made before the 1950s, and I would not move it just so Billy Bob could bust a nut instead of busting a panic attack.
Here’s a million more pictures from last night’s premiere including some of Sandra Bullock, her dog shit vigilante man and George and Amal Clooney.