Sandra Bullock is responsible for a lot. She saved the Miss USA pageant, plummeted to Earth from a satellite, did not crash a speeding bus full of people and stole a bunch of fancy shit from the MET Gala. For some reason no one was ever inspired to go out and do those things. But this time around, Sandra’s performance in Bird Box–where she yells at unnamed children and never opens her eyes–has really touched something in the people of the world, and they are out here doing the same.
Note: This post contains spoilers for Bird Box.
In that odd, grayish limbo which is the downtime between Christmas and New Year’s, you’ve probably been bored and entertained yourself by thinking that you really should have told Uncle Frank to stuff his MAGA hat up his stupid ass at Christmas dinner. You also probably watched Netflix original movie Bird Box aka A Quiet Place But With Eyes. And even if you didn’t, a whole shitload of people did. According to CNN, Netflix is reporting that more than 45 million Netflix accounts have viewed it so far. The streaming service is also claiming that the movie had the best first 7 days ever for a Netflix film. (This might also make it the most-watched original movie in Netflix’s history.) But hold please, cause there’s a catch.
When Sandra Bullock was at the Oscars in March, some people were really focused on her face, specifically her plump cheeks. Sandra tells InStyle that anyone who saw her cheeks on Oscar night and wondered how many CCs had been injected can stop wondering, because she says the answer is zero.
If you think the world needs more Rihanna movies, you need your head checked. But you’re also in for a not-that-bad trailer for Ocean’s 8. The trailer gives further details on how the lady Oceans will be robbing RiRi’s favorite spot to rule: the Met Gala!
As you know from the first trailer, Sandra Bullock is supposed to be Debbie Ocean, the sister to George Clooney’s Danny Ocean from the original trio of films. While we don’t see George, we do see that Anne Hathaway is supposed to be some high-falutin’ actress who goes to the Met to hobnob and wear diamonds that the Debbie-led gals try to snatch. Since they’re all later seen on the subway together, I think it might be safe to assume Anne is in on the heist…or they just took a break from larceny to show her Times Square. The new trailer reveals each member of the heist is promised $16.5 million if they take part in the jewelry theft at Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite night of the year.
Cate Blanchett is on hand to show more of that mop wig and Party City leopard print coat. Rihanna is supposed to be the tech wiz of the whole operation, and Helena Bonham Carter should get at least $20 million for wearing a busted Marie Antoinette wig to a fictional version of Anna Wintour’s Death Star of a night in May.
Speaking of Anna Wintour, I really hope there’s a plot twist and it’s revealed that she’s the ringleader of the whole thing. I smell a sequel!
The ladies on the set of Ocean’s 8 didn’t entirely kick men to the curb when they rebooted the film George Clooney rebooted from the Rat Pack. All that rebooting makes me really want to sing “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under,” but I’ll stop. Cate Blanchett claims that she and Sandra Bullock did bring dick into their lives while working on Ocean’s 8 by getting peen facials at a spa.
Note that I left out the word “mess,” as there’s no question that the messiest part of the red carpet was most likely the three square feet of space occupied by Ryan Seacrest.
If there was an award for red carpet fashion that makes you question a stylist’s sanity, Nicole Kidman would be that category’s Meryl Streep. Nicole arrived in an Armani Prive gown that does double duty. From the waist-up she’s very mascot of a sexy frozen fish company, and from the waist down I’m getting a reminder to please separate my plastic recyclables from my paper.