The Real Royal Wedding!

While surrounded by pimps, hos, 10 pesos weaves, unmaintained eyebrow situations, swap meet contact lenses, sourdough loaf titties, natural beauties and crystal clear nutsacks, Ice-T and CoCo celebrated their 10-year wedding anniversary by renewing their vows for their new E! reality show. That know-it-all bitch Wikipedia claims Ice-T and CoCo got married December of 2005, but these two live in an ethereal queef bubble where facts do no matter, so I will raise a camel toe cup filled with pink Andre and toast to their 10 years of marriage!

This display of sheer elegance makes Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding look like a quince held in a Burger King party room. This is the real royal wedding (as seen through the eyes of a Roma Gypsy).

At the reception, I’m sure CoCo’s camel toe clapped the melody to Tony! Toni! Tone’s! “Anniversary” while guests placed their champagne flutes on her shelf titties to dance with her. And those lucky guests were: Snoop, Don “Magic” Juan with his stoop sale trollops, Ice-T’s son Little Ice, Tila Tequila and CoCo’s mom Tina.

CoCo Is The Most Talented Woman In The World

Let’s not pretend that CoCo didn’t open that can with her camel toe and later crush it into a recycling bin with her jaws of life ass. Is there anything CoCo can’t do (don’t you dare add another “do” to that “do)? This might be the first time when saying “This beer tastes like ass!” is a good thing. The Queen is totally going to invite CoCo over to Buckingham Palace for Beer Bong Sundays when she sees this picture. Kate Middleton, who?

Source: Twitter via WOW Report

The Future Of Fashion Has Arrived

The Flirt Catalog can shut down, Frederick’s of Hollywood can announce their going out of business sale and Alexis Couture can retire early, because the grande dame of sophistication is here to style any woman who wants to look like she’s going to, coming from or in the middle of pulling a trick.

CoCo has launched her new collection of fine coochture called Licious (of course it’s called Licious) and told the NYDN who she’s designing clothes for.

“For the everyday woman with curves. [The clothes] have that extra stretch within their step for those that need an extra lift for her gift. My clothes are meant to make a statement. I’m not dull in any way and all the bright colors and styles show that.

This is for the woman who wants to show off a little more. I always had a problem getting my clothes to fit right, I was always getting them tailored so I know what women go through.”

Camel toe attachment sold separately!

2011 Really Is The Year Of Jessica Rabbit!

CoCo knows, and so with the help of a Costco-sized jar of Crisco, a dozen sweat shop seamstresses and thread made from Kryptonite, she got into a dress that gave Roger Rabbit a double boner in the ears. CoCo’s gown was full-length when she arrived at her New Year’s Eve party with Ice-T in NYC last night, but she always underestimates the extreme power of her hongray hongray camel toe and didn’t think it would bite at her dress and rip that shit in half. CoCo is still the epitome of elegance and grace, and her beauty never fails to gently cradle my hangover and rock it softly.

A Belated Merry Christmas From CoCo

There really are no words to describe CoCo’s delicate and elegant NSFW-ish Christmas card to the world, so I’ll just let you see for yourself. JUMP!

But what I want to know is, where’s CoCo’s signature camel toe that always looks like it has just carried a wise man through the desert to get to Bethlehem? I guess somebody got a Cuchini in their stocking this year!

Thank God It’s CoCo!!!

Even CoCo’s colon exams are a thing of artistic beauty. No, this is an exquisitely graceful picture from a photo shoot for French Vogue (or Cutie Culitos Monthly, I get them confused) that the modern day Athena posted on her Twatter page yesterday. Thanks to this picture, you will be having a honey glazed split chicken and a side of jumbo sardines for dinner tonight!

CoCo’s muscles don’t deserve all the credit for this pose. You can’t tell from this angle, but her all-powerful camel toe is flapping like a trapped butterfly to keep her afloat! CoCo’s labiacopter gets some credit too.

via Jezebel