On Tuesday, The New York Times published an op-ed written by Salma Hayek detailing the alleged horrors of working with Harvey Weinstein on the 2002’s Frida. Salma claimed she was faced with a non-stop barrage of sexual harassment, sexual assault, requests to look sexier as Frida Kahlo, blatant threats of murder and general bullying.
Well, gather ’round, it’s time for another edition of Harvey Weinstein Half-Assed Apology Theater!
Not long after several women – including Ashley Judd – came forward with allegations of sexual assault against Harvey Weinstein, many additional high-profile actresses also spoke up with their own stories. One person absent from the conversation was Salma Hayek. Salma had made seven films with Miramax and its spin-off company Dimension. Most notable was the 2002 Frida Kahlo biopic, Frida. As it turns out, Salma had a lot to say about Harvey Weinstein. She was just saving it all up, and let it out she did.
This tiddly-wink was linked last week, but has been picking up steam, so let’s have a closer look. Salma Hayek invited her Instagram followers to play a fun game of “Harpo, Who Dis Woman?” Salma posted a video she took of some celebs getting their various boogies on during a Katy Perry performance at the Met Ball.
Since Salma Hayek is married to a billionaire, that better not be one of Katy Perry’s old ones. That wig better be made from a mane that was donated by an actual pastel pink unicorn. Or a wig made from the pubes of the actual Jem.
At the Women in Motion party at Cannes last night, Salma worked a cotton candy lace front while posing with her billionaire husband and Isabelle Huppert on the black carpet. That wig isn’t the look, but Salma obviously disagrees with me, because She. Is. Feeling. Her. Self. Throw a pink wig on Salma Hayek and suddenly she’s come hither-ing for her life.
And yesterday when my hungover eyes saw these pictures in thumbnail form on the photo agency’s website, I thought it was Kylie Jenner wearing more bronzer than usual. I hope I’m the only one who thought that and nobody told Salma they reminded her of Kylie Jenner. Because if they did, she’d torch that wig and get a new face installed on her head so nobody would ever say the words, “You kind of remind me of Kylie Jenner tonight,” to her again. And honestly, that’d be a reasonable reaction.
Salma Hayek and her mom Diana Jiménez are on the cover of this week’s HOLA because this Sunday is Mother’s Day and also because Salma’s got a movie to push (How to Be a Latin Lover). I know you’re supposed to get your mother a present on Mother’s Day, but Salma should really ask her mother if she’d be willing to gift her with a quick lesson in serving face. But moving on to what Salma said inside the magazine.
Every year, there’s always a giant chunk of celebrities at the Met Gala who completely wet fart on the theme and go with their own, which is usually: Rejected Dresses Leftover From Awards Season. Even Anna Wintour showed up to this year’s Met Gala in some dusty dress that Carol Channing definitely wore a million times better in the 1960s (see: Anna Wintour in the gallery below looking like a sad lamp from Liberace’s least favorite guest room). While watching the Vogue live feed of the Met Gala last night, some bland, I forgot who, said something about how she wanted to be comfortable. Bitch, if you want to be comfortable, stay at home in your sweats and t-shirt and watch the live feed while sitting on your futon like the rest of us do! You’re doing the Met Gala completely wrong if it doesn’t take six assistants, a registered nurse, a long plastic hose, a thing of KY and a janitor with a mop to help you piss.
But in last night’s sea of basic (see: the sea of basic in the gallery after the cut), there were a few bright spots of fuckery who actually paid attention in class when the theme was given. Enter: RiRi!