If it looks like a doddering old pepaw, and makes weird, questionable remarks like a doddering old pepaw, then guess what. It’s a doddering old peeaw! That’s the lesson learned from Burt Reynolds’ attempt to explain his “say what now?” comments to Hoda Kotb on Today about her purdy mouth and his love of a 7-year-old Sally Field who he didn’t actually meet until she was 31.
Burt Reynolds is 82 years old. Some people in their 80s are still sharper than the spines on a cat’s dick and have got the energy of youngins a third of their age (see: Rita Moreno and Jane Fonda). But other people in their 80s, have the energy of a corpse that’s been reanimated using half-depleted AA batteries found in your grandma’s freezer, and say weird shit. Burt Reynolds falls into the second category.
Burt was on Today this morning, and when he wasn’t becoming Subway Jared’s new favorite actor, he was hypnotized by Hoda Kotb’s anti-Brielle Bermann lips.
Tom of Finland’s ice-skating younger brother Adam Rippon entranced many during this year’s otherwise savagely boring Winter Olympics. (There wasn’t ENOUGH Adam. Or ENOUGH Chris Mazdzer, for that matter. For two entirely different reasons.)
Especially wowed by Adam was veteran actress Sally Field and her son Sam Griesman. Sam posted a sweet text exchange between himself and his mom in which she urged him to pursue Adam as a love interest. Despite Sally claiming he was “mortified,” Sam was probably pretty boned when Adam responded back to him and Mom. And now they’ve met! Sam tweeted the above picture last night from a Human Rights Campaign event in L.A. Adam was given the Visibility Award. Sam added the caption, “Thanks, mom.”
There’s no word if Adam got to put his Oscars harness back on for some celebrity athlete-on-celebrity son sex, but it’s nice to know that they’ve had the chance to see if there’s some sparkage. And if there wasn’t, hopefully Adam (or Sam) was nice enough to wait until after that HRC event to inform the other one. If it was Sam saying no, that’s just mean on someone’s big night. If it was Adam, well, that’s just saying, “I’m on top of the world and you’re not coming with me, lesser.”
Sally Field’s son Sam Griesman spent the weekend with a case of mombarrassment after he was caught in the middle of a not-subtle Olympic-themed matchmaking attempt by his mom on Twitter. Sam admitted that he had a crush on Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon, and Sally responded by grabbing the ball from her son and shooting his shot for him. The good news is, Sam can stop whatever cringing he has been doing, because a very-flattered Adam recently responded to Sally’s enthusiastic attempt at getting them together.
Hollywood legend and calcium queen Sally Field, is trying to hook her openly gay son Sam Griesman up with Winter Olympics darling and obvious Hocus Pocus fan Adam Rippon. Get in line, sis! Everybody wants a piece of that sassy twink. But, unlike the rest of the horny Adam Ripponettes out there, Sally has star power. And money. She could probably make this happen. Sam might find a spangled catsuit on his bedroom floor before he knows it!
Clearly the greatest excuse ever for not getting with someone goes to Romy and Michele for “Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.” But there’s also room to learn and grow. Today we’ll be taking notes from Sally Field in the art of dumping someone. We’ll – or at least just me and Michael – also be sitting in on Huh? 101 because the dumpee in this situation was Johnny Carson and I had no idea they’d dated. Yes, this revelation has sent me reeling, I feel dizzy, what a world, what a world.