There are few things more American than the enduring tradition of daytime talk show Halloween hi-jinks. You take a bunch of middle-aged talking heads, a squad of professional makeup artists and costume designers, and a squealing studio audience; put ‘em in a pop culture blender on puree and voila! Whoopi Goldberg dressed as a purple baby vampire. And there’s no getting out of it at this point. It’s a whole thing now, everybody must participate. Do you think Ryan Seacrest enjoys sitting in a makeup chair for three hours and getting cinched up in a corset? I don’t know his life! But he does it whether he likes it or not.
Let’s Just Go With “Yes, Cookie Lyon Totally Took A Subtle Shit On Ryan Seacrest On The Oscars Red Carpet” (UPDATE)
There were only 3 reasons to watch the E! Oscars red carpet tonight:
- To work out your cringing muscles from watching and listening to Giuliana Rancic, who looked like Zombie Elsa from Frozen, and Ryan Seacrest blabber out manufactured bullshit as though they care.
- You have a serious kind of insomnia and needed something to bore you into mimi times.
- To get high from the smoke blowing out of alleged sexual harassing animatronic troll Ryan Seacrest as he gets read by someone for being an alleged sexual harassing animatronic troll.
I watched for the third reason, and Taraji P. Henson may have given it to us in a subtle way.
It seems like the rumor about publicists keeping their clients away from Ryan like he was carbs was true. Many of the nominees didn’t stop for him, and I kept waiting for the producers to put Giuliana in a Margot Robbie wig and force her to do an Australian accent so they’d have something. But then along came Taraji P. Henson who delivered a line to Ryan that has made some people ask, “Did Cookie Lyon just shade Ryan Seacrest so hard that his bronzer melted off his face?” Even if she didn’t mean to, I’m going with: FUCK YES. Cookie Lyon always knows what she’s saying.
Ryan asked Taraji about Mary J. Blige, whose performance she introduced at the Oscars tonight. While staring right at him with a “Bitch, you gonna get it one of these days” smile on her face, she said:
“You know, the universe has a way of taking care of the good people. You know what I mean?”
Now that is shade. So subtle and smooth that the trick in charge of E!’s alleged 30-second delay didn’t know what hit them.
And a millisecond later, Ryan’s dermatologist scheduled him in for an emergency Botox appointment later tonight because they knew he’d need once since Cookie just gave him some new wrinkles.
UPDATE: Taraji tells People that her comments were twisted, and she supports him:
“I did it to keep his chin up. It’s an awkward position to be in. He’s been cleared but anyone can say anything.”
DAMN YOU, COOKIE! Couldn’t you have just let us believe you were putting a curse on that diabolical gnome?!
Holy shit Taraji just put a curse on Ryan Seacrest ? pic.twitter.com/GSknn3NozF
— Sara Jean Hughes (@sarajeanhughes) March 5, 2018
Ryan Seacrest’s former stylist, Suzie Hardy, claimed in a Variety piece that he was a straight up pants-free asshole who sexually harassed her for years. Ryan is just the latest dubious celebrity male to have the spotlight shone on him in the #MeToo era. Unfortunately for Ryan, the revelation that he allegedly had no problem with forcing a woman’s head into his crotch like a particularly unsexy WWE bout is coinciding with his biggest hosting gig of the year.
Ryan is normally front and center on the Oscars red carpet, asking celebrities vapid questions as his programming dictates. However, this year, celebs will reportedly give him and his microphone a hard pass due to the recent allegations. And Ryan’s rival for red carpet coverage, Access Hollywood, is obviously taking great delight in Seacrest’s downfall.
An E! Producer Claims She Was Fired For Airing Eva Longoria’s “You Guys Screwed Catt Sadler” Interview
Fired E! producer Aileen Gram-Moreno filed a complaint against her former employers with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission on Friday, according to The New York Times (via Variety). She’s claiming her dismissal was because she allowed Eva Longoria to slam E! live on air at the Golden Globes in January. Eva made it clear she’s in the corner of Catt Sadler, who left E! when she reportedly discovered her male co-host Jason Kennedy made a grip more than her. E! says that Aileen was axed because she sucked at her job. Who to believe? Keep in mind one of the parties involved inflicted the Kardashians on us. Continue reading
The response to the allegations against Ryan Seacrest by his former stylist Suzie Hardy have been varied. Some publicists reportedly don’t want anything to do with him, but Kelly Ripa, Ryan’s aggressively chipper co-host on Live with Kelly and Ryan, came out in support of him yesterday on the show by saying she “adores” him. She might adore him, but according to Page Six, she hates the awkward, weird situation he put the show in.
Some Hollywood Publicists Have Planned To Keep Their Clients Away From Ryan Seacrest On The Oscars Red Carpet
Ryan Seacrest hasn’t had such a great time in the press this week. Suzie Hardy – the former wardrobe stylist who first came forward with sexual harassment allegations against him – decided to spill the alleged details to Variety. The allegations ranged from unwanted romantic attention all the way up to crotch-grabbing and boner-rubbing. Ryan’s attorney released a statement accusing Suzie of a $15 million shake down, and Ryan himself followed that up by releasing his own statement. Still, the allegations may keep celebrities from wanting to talk to him at the Oscars on Sunday.