Category: Ryan Seacrest

E! Says They Found “Insufficient Evidence” Of Sexual Misconduct By Ryan Seacrest

February 1, 2018 / Posted by:

In November, E! crown prince Ryan Seacrest got ahead of possible sexual harassment allegations by issuing a half-apology and denial. Ten years earlier, a female wardrobe stylist filed a complaint with E! claiming that he was inappropriate with her. Apologies and denials aside, E! was conducting an internal investigation of the situation, and they’re finally done looking into it.

Variety says that E! issued a statement today regarding their findings. Or should I say lack of findings, because they claim they didn’t find anything.

“E! has now concluded the investigation into allegations regarding Ryan Seacrest. The investigation, conducted by outside counsel, found insufficient evidence to support the claims against Seacrest and therefore could not be substantiated. E! is committed to providing a safe working environment where everyone is treated with respect and dignity.”

There you go, Kris Jenner – you can stop shopping for a new religion, it looks like the false idol of Ryan Seacrest is still clean enough to worship at.

When asked for a statement on the matter, a rep for Ryan redirected Variety back to his original statement from November, which was that he’s “proud of his workplace reputation” and that he believes in “mutual respect and courtesy.” Personally, I don’t see how E! could ever conduct a proper interview. Ryan has the face of a Hall of Presidents animatronic. The second anyone sat down to interview him, they’d be too fascinated by watching him talk, and they’d forget all the other information they gathered that day.



The New “American Idol” Isn’t Going To Show Any Bad Auditions

January 10, 2018 / Posted by:

News regarding the overpriced albatross (aka the revival of American Idol) has been all about how the payroll department at ABC apparently took a quaalude to sign off on paying Katy Perry $25 million when Lionel Richie got far less, but now producers are here to say the new show is going to be about the talent and finally creating a STAH. So that means taking away the only reason people were watching Idol. Continue reading

Mariah Carey Might Be Rocking Around The Christmas Tree Until July

December 29, 2017 / Posted by:

Ever since Mariah Carey released “All I Want For Christmas Is You” in 1994, she’s morphed her career to work in tandem with Michael Bublé’s in that there is nothing playing in the T.J. Maxx dressing room post-Thanksgiving but their hits and a stray song or two about a reindeer. The Queen of Christmas (if she lets you call her that) has always been suspect to be a little too gung-ho on the holidays, and her latest tweet might confirm everyone’s suspicions. Continue reading

A Bunch Of Celebrities Came To The Defense Of A Bullied Tennessee Boy

December 11, 2017 / Posted by:

On any other Monday, I’d come here swinging with a heaping case of new week “Fuq dis shititis” and be ready to pile on some shade at Lindsay Lohan or whoever else was a mess at Sunday brunch, but the new season of The Crown has this kween feeling like THE QUEEN, so I’ll be diplomatic for 10 minutes and bring you a case of the worldwide awwwww’s that came from poor Keaton Jones’ bullying down in Tennessee. Continue reading

Ryan Seacrest Got In Front Of An Impending Sexual Harrassment Accusation

November 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Et tu, Seacrest? Does it surprise anyone that Ryan Seacrest is the proactive sort? That whole “frosted tips/I swear I’m totally straight/Chillin’ while hostin’/ dude-bro” thing is obviously just a veneer. Inside he’s actually a Type A personality, choking on repressed anger and so laser-focused on his career that Richwood Pharmaceuticals used his blood samples to make the prototype for Adderall! Variety reports that Seacrest didn’t wait for E! to find out if an alleged impending sexual harassment claim against him is valid or not. He’s already apologized in a statement released on Friday. Sort of. Continue reading


Open Post: Hosted By The Property Brothers As The Wonder Sisters

October 31, 2017 / Posted by:

You’re either reaching for a bottle of Visine’s holy water drops, because your eyes need cleansing after laying them on that unholy sight of fuck effort drag, an F minus tuck game and Control Top L’Eggs. Or you’re reaching for the industrial-strength Morton brand of smelling salts, because nothing gives you the head-to-toe vapors like seeing the panty cream-inducing sight of two Fun House Mirror Jonas Brothers in fuck effort drag and Control Top L’Eggs. Hey, what’s one man’s Control Top L’Eggs nightmare is another man’s Control Top L’eggs wet fantasy.

The current reigning sweethearts of HGTV (now that the Fixer Upper couple are busting out of there), The Property Brothers, did a little renovating on themselves for Shallowqueen by dragging it up as Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman (see: Drew Scott, on the left) and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman (see: Jonathan Scott, on the right). The half-melted Jesus wax figurines stuffed their Canadian sausages into Rite-Aid Wonder Woman costumes for LIVE with Kelly and Ryan’s Halloween episode. Kelly and Ryan, who wore 12 costumes total, also Wonder Woman’d themselves along with Gelman and that one pepaw. I love how Ryan is really butching it up hardcore. Ryan may be in drag, but he’s still a NASCAR-loving, Budweiser-guzzling, pussy-destroying heterosexual straight bro.

And once you’re done with that bottle of smelling salts, send it to me via drone. I need to shove several bottles up my nostrils before I have a full-body O from seeing Jonathina Scott poke at Michaela Gelman’s Wonder Woman bulge (at the 1:18 mark).


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