My biggest gripe about the U.S. is that our talk shows and TV in general are so much more boring than what they have overseas. They’ve made Celine Dion gargle out the Titanic theme song, and now they’ve put Ryan Reynolds in a unicorn mask to fool a bunch of contestants on a Korean game show who had to guess who was the voice behind “Tomorrow” from Annie. Continue reading
Last year, Ryan Reynolds tried his level best to get himself nominated for an Oscar for Deadpool. I don’t know how much pull Ryan has over at the Deadpool offices (a lot I’m guessing), but it was enough to get them to hire Oscar-Maker-In-Chief Céline Dion to do a song and video for Deadpool 2. And to great comic effect, they totally played it straight (for the most part). Throughout the entire song I was waiting for Céline to pull off her rubber mask (that cannot be her actual face) and reveal that she was Deadpool all along. But no! Deadpool is in it too. And he’s a maniac on the floor.
Here’s the video for Ashes!
It’s actually a great Céline jam! The goobers at my karaoke spot will be singing this song by weeks’ end. We don’t deserve Celine. She’s a treasure and the world will forever be in Canada’s debt for sharing her. She’s worth suffering a thousand Biebers. Ok, one additional Bieber and three Drakes. But we expect greatness from Celine. There is nothing she can’t sing while glowing incandescently. But if Ryan really wants that Oscar, I’m going to need to know that he was actually doing his own dancing in this video. I want to believe that it was, but know deep down that it wasn’t. And if that’s the case, if anybody’s getting an Oscar out of this stunt, if will be Céline and Céline alone.
The biggest successes of Ryan Reynolds’s career have been jokey anti-hero Deadpool and his bantering with the world on Twitter. Oh, and Nickolodeon’s Fifteen but I might be the only person who remembers that television epic.The IBTimes ran a piece from OK! about how Ryan and his wife Blake Lively are struggling to find quality time together and verging on divorce. Ryan seems unashamed to let people know he checks the Google alerts about himself. He clapped back in his “Ryan Reynolds: Jokey Canadian Movie Star” way.
Obviously nothing can beat the perfection of Clue: The Movie, but Hollywood has been determined to make a remake happen for years now. The last time we checked in, 20th Century Fox had plans to make the stale hamburger version of Clue: The Movie’s filet mignon by creating a big-budget “global thriller” blockbuster. As it turns out, we’re not even getting hamburger anymore. Hollywood might be giving us human-grade dog food beef chunks in the form of a Clue movie made by Ryan Reynolds and the Deadpool writing team.
Deadpool 2 has started filming. Affable Canadian hardbody Ryan Reynolds is reprising his role as the chatty assassin with the hot bod and jacked-up face. Josh Brolin has joined the cast and is playing one of Deadpool’s frenemies, a cyborg mercenary from the future named Cable. Oh, don’t you love the convoluted comic book universe? Both of these dudes are currently in the gym working on their fitness. Deadpool creator Rob Liefeld and Ryan’s personal trainer Don Saladino Instagrammed the guys’ nipples for our viewing pleasure.
As if Madonna needed to physically show us how thirsty she is. We know, girl!
Every year, Madonna descends upon the Met Gala with more excitement than a clown who just snorted a line of crushed espresso beans. Last night was no different. Madonna showed up in Duck Dy-Nasty camo couture, swigging something from a canteen. Who cares what the theme was; Madonna wanted to do drunk Bass Pro Shops beauty pageant queen, and so that’s what Madonna is gonna do.
Of course, Madonna did disappoint a teeny tiny bit. I’m of course talking about the fact that her ass – arguably the Met Gala’s most frequent guest – was nowhere to be seen last night. Given the theme of her ensemble, she could have taken it further by letting her ass cheeks flop around behind her like two plucked mallards. Madonna’s look was done by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, so I blame him for that.