A Tribute To Ryan Dunn

Whether you love or hate the Jackass franchise, and regardless of how you feel about Ryan Dunn being self-snatched from life at an early age by a high speed drinking and driving accident, there are a lot of people out there who remember him fondly. In this video tribute to Ryan, officialdickhousetv blends both behind-the-scenes and official video to pay their respects.

Like most of us on this site, Ryan had a twelve year old boy mentality. He was arguably one of the most lovable of the bad boys in Jackass, and is most famous for his Matchbox car ER visit. Poor decisions were the trademark of his life and his death, but until the end he was full of laughter and endlessly entertaining. As I’ve said before, I can’t even snark on this shit.

RIP Ryan, and PLEASE don’t drink and drive.

When Guardian Angels Throw In The Towel

We all know the story of Ryan Dunn’s untimely death when he rocketed his Porsche off the road after filling his tank with the nectar of the gods, killing himself and his passenger. In an emotional inteview, Bam Margera talked to E! Online about the death of his bff and said that it wasn’t the first time Ryan had flirted with the reaper on that same stretch of road. Damn.

Bam said “He flipped me in a car eight times at the same exact spot in 1996. Thank God I had my seat belt on, because Chris Raab put one on me, but my brother didn’t have one on. He flew 40 feet. Thank God he’s alive. But like, Dunn was always a maniac at driving.”

Later in the interview, Bam read a text, the last words he ever heard from his friend. “Stopping for a beer, be there when I can.”

You know, I can’t even snark on this shit. It’s sad, it’s wasteful, and it was so avoidable. Dude rolled his car eight fucking times and almost killed his friends in the same spot he was doing 140 mph in 15 years later. We all know some crazy ass who always seems to skirt the inevitable, but eventually shit’s gonna go down. Just, damn.

Ryan Dunn Was Drunk

West Goshen Police Chief Michael Carroll announced today that Jackasses’ Ryan Dunn had a blood alcohol level of 0.196% when he crashed his Porsche into a tree, killing himself and his friend Zachary Hartwell. Police Cheif Carroll also said that Ryan was going anywhere from 132-140mph before the crash. That tension you feel in the air is Roger Ebert’s hand hovering over his keyboard while he thinks about typing out the characters I-T-O-L-D-Y-O-U-S-O. The details from CNN:

“The initial crash reconstruction investigation determined that Mr. Dunn’s vehicle was traveling between 132-140 mph at the time of the collision,” West Goshen Police Chief Michael Carroll said in a statement Wednesday.

Toxicology testing by the coroner indicated Dunn’s blood alcohol concentration was 0.196%, which is more than twice the legal state limit of 0.08, Carroll said.

Everything (and I mean fucking everything) has already been said. The lesson here is, if you’re drunk enough to bleed Blood Marys, then it’s probably not a good idea to hit the gas pedal on your Porsche until it touches 140 on the odometer. Take a pedicab! Or a shopping cart! Actually, don’t take a shopping cart.

By the way, when my mom saw this story on the news, the first thing she said was, “SAD! But I like that dog he carried around in that movie with Iron Man.” Your mom probably said the same thing.

Roger Ebert’s Last Word On His Twitter Fight With Bam Margera

Sadly, the Roger Ebert and Bam Margera bitch fight did not end with one them beating the other in a fart mask duel. It ended with Roger Ebert writing on his website that he regrets that Bam Margera and others took his “friends don’t let jackasses drive drunk” Tweet as mean because that’s not how he meant it.

In case you were busy swallowing a gold fish before barfing it up in a bowl, shortly after Ryan Dunn killed himself and his friend by crashing into a tree, Roger wrote a Tweet that burned Bam’s b-hole. Bam called Roger a “piece of shit” who needs to “shut his fucking mouth.” Roger explained himself like this:

To begin with, I offer my sympathy to Ryan Dunn’s family and friends, and to those of Zachary Hartwell, who also died in the crash. I mean that sincerely. It is tragic to lose a loved one. I also regret that my tweet about the event was considered cruel. It was not intended as cruel. It was intended as true.

I have no way of knowing if Ryan Dunn was drunk at the time of his death. What I knew before posting my tweet was that not long before his death, he posted a photo on Tumbler showing himself drinking with two friends.

Roger then went on to write about the details of Ryan’s last night. Roger then admits that maybe he should’ve sat on his fingers for a little bit before he wrote a Drunk Driving PST (Public Service Tweet).

I don’t know what happened in this case, and I was probably too quick to tweet. That was unseemly. I do know that nobody has any business driving on a public highway at 110 mph, as some estimated — or fast enough, anyway, to leave a highway and fly through 40 yards of trees before crashing. That is especially true if the driver has had three shots and three beers. Two people were killed. What if the car had crashed into another car?

I think we’re all missing something here. I’m talking about how fucking weird it is that Roger Ebert and Bam Margera are slapping at each other on Twitter of all places? The Internet is a hell of a motherfucking drug. I would expect a shopping cart derby between the ghost of Gene Siskel and my old skater boy neighbor who ate his own scabs before I’d expect a stupid ass fight between Roger Ebert and Bam Margera.

Roger was right, Bam was half-right and now that this is finally over the former can go back to shooting out shiny beautiful gems like this:

Sam Sung | June 21, 2011 10:42 AM | Reply

Dear Mr. Ebert,

I would be interest in building condos in your hollow jaw. We can split the profits 50/50. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks! Sam

Ebert: My jaw as it now exists was designed by Frank Gehry, and has landmark status.

Roger Ebert vs. Bam Margera

Jackasses’ Ryan Dunn is shitting toy cars on heaven’s carpet and doing homoerotic stunts with the angels today and there’s lots of talk about how he got there. The facts are that three hours before Ryan crashed his Porsche into a tree, he was slurping up the sweet nectar at a bar. Some witnesses at the bar say that Ryan had 3 beers, 3 shots and was “wasted.” Other witnesses say that he had a couple of beers and wasn’t even drunk enough to make a Breathalyzer bust into a boner. The police speculated that Ryan was going around 100mph before he hit the tree.

Ryan’s autopsy went down yesterday and so the toxicology reports should be out soon. Shortly after the news of Ryan’s crash went around, Roger Ebert reviewed his death on Twitter and gave it one thumb down.

Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.
19 hours ago via SocialOomph

You can say that Roger Tweets the truth! You can say that Roger Tweets the truth TOO SOON! Or you can say Roger needs to shove his Tweet up his ass and shoot it into the mouth of a toilet where it belongs. Of course, Ryan’s fellow Jackasser, Bam Margera, went with the latter when he went off about Roger’s Tweet on Twitter.

I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of shit roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents
10 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

About a jackass drunk driving and his is one, fuck you! Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat fucking mouth!
10 hours ago

Both Roger and Bam need to stop and think about what Ryan Dunn would want! Would Ryan really want them to be kicking at each other’s dick bones on Twitter?! TWITTER? When Twitter isn’t bringing out a ho’s dick pictures, it’s bringing out a ho’s assholery. You know, there’s a lot truth to what Roger said and Bam has every right to flip his keystrokes about it. But they should really put their differences aside and mourn the loss of Ryan by pouring one out into a funnel that’s shoved up their b-holes. That’s what Ryan would want!