Jada Pinkett Smith is continuing her trend of getting people to spill their secrets to her while sitting around her mystical red table. People reports that this time she ensorcelled Ciara who sat down with Jada, daughter Willow Smith, and mother Adrienne Banfield Norris to talk about her life. Ciara decided to talk about her ex, rapper Future, while gossiping with the Smith girls–specifically how terrible the relationship with him was and how she “unexpectedly” became a single mother. Drag him, Ciara!
In my experience, 5-year-old children are nearly impossible to shop for. It doesn’t matter what you give them, they get all excited by the box but then as soon as the box is opened and the gift unwrapped, they drop whatever book, toy or stuffed animal you carefully selected baring in mind the child’s current interests and abilities, utter a begrudging “thank you” when prompted by their guardian, and immediately move on to the next wrapped box. This cycle will repeat until all the boxes have been opened and all the adults’ feelings have been hurt by the child’s brazen lack of interest in their carefully selected offering. The lesson here is that it really doesn’t matter what you put in the box, so don’t sweat it! Future recently had to learn this lesson the expensive way when he gifted his 5-year-old son, Future Jr., a very expensive looking Rolex watch.
The reason why Ciara‘s song “Level Up” is such a hit is probably because she’s the humanized definition of the term. After a succession of failed relationships with the Voltron of Fuck Boys 50 Cent, Bow Wow and plus-sized hating mush mouth Future (whom she made a baby with) Ciara hit the jackpot when she scored a ring from NFL Quarterback Russell Wilson. During their courtship though, Ciara and Russell decided to keep their goodies to themselves until marriage. They’re now happily married and happily fucking. However, she admits that she spent a lot of time on her knees performing a different kind of act to make sure their love was successful, and that act is called prayer.
I’m not sure if rappers Soulja Boy and Future share a therapist and that therapist was off this week or whatever, because they’ve been giving their thoughts on shit to interviewers instead of a counselor. First, Soulja Boy gave a very meme-worthy interview with The Breakfast Club that still has people ready to call a reverend to lay hands on him. Now we have Ciara‘s ex-mess Future opening up his mouth to bash her and her NFL quarterback husband Russell Wilson once again because that’s what salty ex’s do when they have to be constantly reminded just how trashy they are on a daily basis.
Yesterday was Mother’s Day, the day when the internet comes together and threatens to crash Instagram’s servers by mass-uploading pictures of moms with captions about how they’re the best in the world. One popular theme yesterday was for dads to thank the mothers of their children. Russell Wilson Instagrammed a message to Ciara on her first Mother’s Day with their daughter Sienna Princess, which included a line about how he’s so grateful to get to raise “our” kids together. That “our” didn’t sit well with people.
And she thankfully didn’t have that princess in an intersection!
Ciara and her husband, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, announced the birth of their baby girl on her Instagram. Where else are you going to announce you had a baby nowadays? All those janky printing companies where you can order up 3,000 pieces of cardstock adorned with clip art and your child’s name misspelled must be furious with Instagram for effing with their revenue.