Category: Royals

Princess Eugenie’s Official Wedding Portraits Are Here

October 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Pricess Eugenie (AKA “Princess Who?-genie” to non-royal watchers) got married to her commoner/kissing cousin Jack Brooksbank two days ago. Unlike us normal folk who have a shorter wait at the DMV than the time it takes for us to get our wedding photo contact sheets back, the latest Royal Family wedding portraits have already been released. Eugenie may only be 9th in line to the throne, but nevertheless, her photos arrived lightening speed and here they are for our inspection, so get out your magnifying glasses and let’s get to inspecting!

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Open Post: Hosted By Duchess Kate And Prince William Getting Into Some PDA At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding

October 12, 2018 / Posted by:

We know Prince William and Duchess Kate have three children, but I’m sure if The Queen had her way, it shall remain a mystery as to how those future heirs were made. Royal magic? Wishes? Stop asking, you pervert! Generally, PDA is a no-no when it comes to royal family protocol, but today William and Kate decided to let royal protocol take a backseat to their emotions, and they were caught holding hands in the pews during Princess Eugenie’s wedding ceremony. So kinky! Is that the first few bars of Beyoncé’s “Naughty Girl” playing?

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Fergie Was “Mother Of The Bride, By Way Of Hogwarts” At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding

October 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Princess Beatrice stole the show, fashion-wise, at Duchess Kate and Prince William’s wedding back in 2011 when she showed up wearing a hat that looked like one of The Queen’s more decorative toilet seat covers. There must be something in Bea’s DNA that inspires some truly wonky formal hat choices. Because Fergie did not disappoint in the hat department on the wedding day of her daughter Princess Eugenie today.

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Thomas Markle Compared The Royal Family To Scientology

August 20, 2018 / Posted by:

What do you know, Thomas Markle is back at it, running his mouth off like his jaw has a lifetime warranty. Thomas recently took a break from dragging his daughter Duchess Meghan to rip on the Royal Family and compare them to a cult. And just think: it was barely four days ago when the Royal’s most recent worry about Mr. Markle was the thought of seeing one of their gardeners in a Thomas Markle original hoodie.

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Thomas Markle Has Been Completely Cut Off From Duchess Meghan

July 29, 2018 / Posted by:

Drama Queen Thomas Markle has finally been Heismaned out of his daughter Duchess Meghan‘s life. No, Meghan hasn’t had the peasants of her newly adopted country install a deep moat of fire water and hungry crocodiles with 10 foot poisoned tip spikes embedded on their backs around the Palace, but her dad says that she and the Royal Family have completely ex-communicated him and there’s no way for him to get in touch with her.

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Duchess Meghan Doesn’t Understand All The Royal Rules

July 18, 2018 / Posted by:

Being a normal American actress who landed a hot royal like Prince Harry might seem like a perpetual dream of afternoon champagne and corgi butlers, but Duchess Meghan has learned fast that it’s also a bureaucratic nightmare filled with stuffy rules and formalities. No bare shoulders! No touching! Never not be wearing pantyhose! According to a source that spoke with People magazine, Meghan is having a hard time accepting some of the more outdated rules.

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