Category: Royal Wedding

Fergie Was “Mother Of The Bride, By Way Of Hogwarts” At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding

October 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Princess Beatrice stole the show, fashion-wise, at Duchess Kate and Prince William’s wedding back in 2011 when she showed up wearing a hat that looked like one of The Queen’s more decorative toilet seat covers. There must be something in Bea’s DNA that inspires some truly wonky formal hat choices. Because Fergie did not disappoint in the hat department on the wedding day of her daughter Princess Eugenie today.

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Princess Eugenie Married “Not The Most Intelligent” Man (Copyright: His Own Grandma)

October 12, 2018 / Posted by:

While some of us were busy dreaming of sugar ginger balls dancing on our face, the Rita Ora of royal weddings went down at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle this morning. That’s the same scene where my dead heart died even more five months ago. But just because it was the royal wedding of a third tier royal doesn’t mean that loyal subjects didn’t come out in droves. I mean, look how excited the people were to bask in the glory of this magnificent once-in-a-lifetime (if you’re a fly, maybe) event!

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The BBC Reportedly Turned Down A Request To Air Princess Eugenie’s Royal Wedding

September 18, 2018 / Posted by:

My understanding about royal weddings is that if you popped out of someone who had sex with someone who popped out of The Queen, your wedding day was a big deal that was blasted all over television for no less than 4 hours. Apparently that rule might only apply to the spawn of Prince Charles.

Prince Andrew’s youngest daughter, Princess Eugenie of York, is engaged to her boyfriend/distant cousin Jack Brooksbank. Their wedding will take place on October 12, 2018. According to The Daily Mail, if you want to watch that wedding next month, don’t tune into the BBC; you won’t find it there.

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A Friend Of Duchess Meghan Says Her Dad Faked His Heart Surgery To Get Out Of Her Wedding

July 19, 2018 / Posted by:

The producers of Days of Our Lives, Young and the Restless, and whatever other soap opera is still on the air should really hire Duchess Meghan’s melodramatic father Thomas Markle to write for them, because he’s bringing the twists, turns and theatrical drama. Thomas was supposed to walk Meghan down the aisle, but when it came out that he staged embarrassing pap pics, he had a heart attack and eventually pulled out of the wedding completely because he needed to have surgery.

One of Meghan’s unnamed friends is now telling The Daily Mail that Thomas’ heart attack and surgery was about as fake as Prince Hot Ginge’s denial that he’s really in love with an old skinny fat blogger from California. The friend claims Thomas faked a heart attack to get sympathy from the public and to also get out of going to the wedding. The creators of The Crown better send Thomas his favorite thing, a stack of cash, as a thank you for giving them some serious ESCANDALOSONESS for season 8.

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Prince Harry And Duchess Meghan Might Be Hitting Up Canada For Their Honeymoon

May 29, 2018 / Posted by:

While guzzling down my 90th can of Red Bull during the 18-hour-long royal wedding watch-a-thon, someone on the Today show talked about how it was rumored that Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan were going to honeymoon in Namibia because Africa is a special place to them since they had one of their first dates there. But that rumor was wrong. Prince Harry must like Tim Hortons coffee with a side of Shania Twain because it sounds like he’s taking his bride to Canada. Eh???

TMZ says Harry and Meghan  are going to the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge in Alberta, Canada, for their royal-sanctioned vacation of boning. Some of you might be scratching your heads at why they’re hopping the pond just to be a few miles away from the Suits set when, if they’re going to all the trouble, why not just head south so they can play a game of ding dong ditch with Meghan’s asshole half-siblings.

While the New York Post is calling their honeymoon spot “the most boring place on Earth,” the initial reports says it does have some royal ties – and not just because it shares the same country as Queen Celine Dion. King George VI and the Queen Mother stayed there in 1939, THE QUEEN and Prince Philip checked it out in 2005, and Xenu royalty John Travolta has been there, so at least the royals know there is a working spa with late hours of operation.

Pic: Wenn.com

The Official Royal Wedding Portraits Have Been Released

May 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Did you know there was a royal wedding this weekend? If your corneas haven’t been singed by 1800 hours of royal wedding coverage, then let’s heap on another pile of royal manure! Kensington Palace, the gilded dormitory where Prince Harry and Megsy will shack up, released the official portraits of the newlyweds along with their family and wedding party. Surprisingly, it seems like the hydraulics in THE QUEEN’s face were working to make her crack a smile! Continue reading

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