Mitt Romney Is So Relieved

YES it is two Lohan posts back to back with another sprinkling of politics because annoying the shit out of people is fun!!! And then there’s that slow news day angle, and I refuse to report on that Justin Bieber stolen video Twitter shit. Even a ho has standards.

Mitt Romney can finally quit lying awake at 3:00 am, clutching his teddy and staring at his ceiling tiles through streaming tears, wondering if he will get the oh-so-important nod of approval by Lindsay Lohan. The election gods have answered your prayers Mitt, and you have LiLo’s support and vote. Probably, possibly, maybe. Mitt’s camp must be thrilled.

E! Online (I know) says Lindsay was on the pink carpet at Mr Pink’s Ginseng Drink Event (sounds like some really vigorous lesbian action, HOT) and while she was struttin’ that ass she was asked who she was going to dangle her chad for.

She said “I just think employment is really important right now. So, as of now, Mitt Romney. As of now.” Then she said “It’s a long story.”

It’s nice to see Lindsay finally coming to terms with her future employment options and getting real about something. I guess.

Your Man Mike Rowe Spoke At A Romney Roundtable Today

Mike Rowe, the host of both Discovery’s Dirty Jobs and many of your conscious fap dreams, took a break from swimming in shit rivers in the sewers to say stuff at a micro-manufacturing victory roundtable hosted by Mitt Romney in Bedford Heights, Ohio today. Romney invited Mike Rowe to the roundtable after Mike sent him a letter saying that this country needs to show more support for the blue collar workers. Mike sent the same letter to Obama in 2009, but didn’t get a response. So at the roundtable today, Mike said that we need to show more appreciation for the blue collar workers of America and try to make those jobs more desirable before robots from China replace US ALL! Mike never officially endorsed Romney, but I can’t say I’d be mad if he turned around, dropped his pants, spread his cheeks and showed us the Rowe 4 Romney tattoo he has on his prune lips.

USA Today has a rundown of what basically came out of Mike’s mouth today:

“We have unintentionally disconnected ourselves … from the most important part of our workforce,” Rowe said as he paid tribute to the “people who keep the lights on, people who allow toilets to work” and “people who pick up roadkill.”

Rowe, also known for his Ford commercials, made headlines when he penned an open letter to the GOP presidential nominee, asking for a “national conversation” about what he calls a “skills gap.”

“Our country has become emotionally disconnected from an essential part of our workforce,” Rowe wrote to Romney. “We are no longer impressed with cheap electricity, paved roads, and indoor plumbing. We take our infrastructure for granted, and the people who build it.”

Rowe said he accepted Romney’s invitation to be at the business roundtable so he could help put a spotlight on the need for skilled labor. “We need more opportunity and training,” Rowe said, adding that there also needs to be “desire” to do blue-collar jobs.

When he wrote the letter, Rowe told Romney he’d vote for him in November if he read the whole thing. He gave no clue on how he’ll cast his ballot.

The only thing I have to add after seeing Mike Rowe stand next to Mitt Romney with all those serious faces in the background is that it might take me a while…. and I might have to take breaks…. and I’ll definitely have to give myself a pep talk every few minutes…. and I’m going to use every possible lube in my kitchen cabinet, but I’m going to find a way to fap to this. And that is the dirtiest job of all.

(vid via Buzzfeed)