I thought that the Pussy Posse was a closed, Founding Members only type of club, but it looks like they are seeking new members. The good news for Jake Gyllenhaal is that his temporary card has arrived just in time for Christmas! Jake has finally met the final – most important- criteria in securing his place on next year’s Ibiza PP yacht trip. It’s been reported that 38-year-old Jake has been dating 22-year-old model Jeanne Cadieu since June. Slow claps from the Poop Deck from Leo DiCaprio and his main-man boo Lukas Haas, as Jake wipes a tear from his eye and slowly steps aboard the S.S. Under 25-Year-Old Chicks Only. Today is a beautiful day for the May-December romance.
In the words of Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park, life finds a way. Like tufts of grass between concrete slabs. Or how backwards ass people like the Duggars manage to make it through life. But we’re here to discuss love. Not incesty Duggar stuff, no. Random, head scratching love, but love nonetheless. Jenny Slate and Chris Evans finally stepped out together for a premiere, confirming what we’ve known for months now.
As reported yesterday by hard hitting journalist me and every other major news outlet, Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini and Liam Payne have been bumping uglies since the end of last year. But, it’s now been confirmed by the King of Kings, Instagram. Liam changed his profile picture (see: above) to one of him and Cheryl after all the beans were spilled on their modern winter summer romance.
A source, via UsWeekly, says that it’s “not serious … but they’re enjoying things,” and that 32-year-old Cheryl and 22-year-old Liam “hates that it’s out there,” but are “kind of relieved at the same time because now they don’t have to be paranoid about getting caught.” I know it must be a nightmare to be hounded day and night by the paps you called, but I say just do what you want. You gotta live.
If Renee Zellweger can take the London tube and not get noticed, why can’t these two pop out for a date night? Here’s a tip, don’t wear giant sunglasses and a big hat, trying to “not get noticed”, and there’s a good chance you won’t get noticed. Anyways, good luck to these two. Mazel Tov. Many joys and blah blah blah. To be totally honest this whole thing smells of STUNT QUEEN to me. Cheryl needs some good PR because of the divorce and she hasn’t been doing all that much lately and Liam is one of the One Directioners that falls into the “other guys” category. Good luck!
Although spring is a little ways off, love is in the air! Can’t you feel it? Though your toes are numb, your face frozen and you’re hungover – you read DListed, I know you’re hungover, I don’t need my Detective LaToya brand magnifying glass or fingerprint dusting kit to figure that out, my dear Mr. Watson – you can feel the warmth of true love floating through the air and between the empty boxes of wine. Who do we have to thank for this blast of joy? Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini and Liam Payne!