If one more Roger Ailes movie comes out, we’re going to have a fantasy Fox News league. Actually, that sounds terrible and is probably what Donald Trump already does with his favorite blonde lady anchors. Showtime’s Fox News movie has already tapped Russell Crowe to play the late Darth Vader of cable news, and now the one that has Nicole Kidman as Gretchen Carlson (lol) and Charlize Theron as Megyn Kelly has now signed its Roger: John Lithgow.
Every former Miss Kentucky that works at Fox News has most definitely been taking bets in the break room over what “LIBERAL ELITE MOONBAT HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY!” would play her in the upcoming movie about the women of Fox News and how they dealt with Roger Ailes. While I still think Snooki should play Kimberly Guilfoyle (no offense, Snook), we at least know who two Fox alums will be portrayed by. Y’all already knew that Charlize Theron has been rehearsing “Santa is white…get over it” for a while now to get into her part as Megyn Kelly, but now you’ll get to see Nicole Kidman at Gretchen Carlson because, um, I guess if you have glaucoma, those two look alike?
When the sexual assault allegations against Roger Ailes came out two years ago, it painted a picture of a guy you might have actively avoided like a trash can full of rotten ground beef. But today it’s looking like people can’t get enough of the late Fox News chairman’s story. Charlize Theron is playing Megyn Kelly in a movie about the Roger Ailes sexual assault scandal. Another Roger Ailes project in the works, and this one will star Russell Crowe as the corpulent creep.
Sadly, Charlize Theron won’t be playing Megyn Kelly in a drama about her getting roasted to dust by Jane Fonda. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Charlize Theron and director Jay Roach are getting together to work on a biopic about the sexual assault allegations against the late Roger Ailes.
Charlize will play Megyn in the currently-untitled Roger Ailes film, and will also serve as one of the film’s producer (Annapurna will be financing and producing). It will reportedly center around the multiple sexual assault allegations made against Roger Ailes back in 2016, beginning with the sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Gretchen Carlson. It’s rumored that Gretchen will likely be a character in this film. Also possible characters to be included are Greta Van Susteren, Rupert Murdoch, and Bill O’Reilly.
Megyn’s role in the film will most likely echo what was happening in real life at the time of the accusations. Megyn was at Fox News for over a decade when she was given her own show, The Kelly File. Megyn never came out and said it, but sources claimed she told investigators that Roger had allegedly sexually harassed her when she first started at Fox News a decade earlier. Her story was rumored to be the final nail in Roger’s coffin at Fox. Fox News allegedly tried to pressure Megyn into defending Roger when the allegations first came out, but Megyn refused.
I can totally see Charlize as Megyn Kelly, because Charlize fully commits to a role transformation. I just hope she prepares her gag reflex as much as she prepares squinting her eyes and working a smug smile. All that inevitable vomit-triggering talk about raw hamburger crotch meat is bound to do a number on her stomach.
Almost two months ago, Gretchen Carlson (seen above looking like she’s posing for her ConservativeMingle.com profile picture) dropped a sexual harassment lawsuit into the laps of former Fox News chairman (and current Trump employee) Roger Ailes and her former employers at Fox News. Gretchen accused Roger of a mountain of inappropriate stuff, like repeatedly suggesting sex times and allegedly firing her when she refused. Thankfully there will be no courtroom trial in which a prosecutor will hold up a package of raw ground hamburger and ask Roger to show where he asked people to touch him. Vanity Fair says that Gretchen has settled her lawsuit and it only cost 21st Century Fox $20 million.
Roger Ailes is being sued by another former Fox News employee for allegedly acting like a gross piece of trash. I’ll wait while you catch your breath from the lung-clearing “NO!” you probably just shouted after reading that.
Roger Ailes no longer works at Fox News (congratulations Roger, you can now pursue your true calling as a claymation character called Creep E. McGreed from a Rankin/Bass special about Labor Day). But that doesn’t mean he can’t still get sued for the shit he allegedly pulled while he still worked there. According to Deadline, former co-host of The Five and Outnumbered Andrea Tantaros filed a lawsuit in New York yesterday against Roger Ailes and Fox News for nearly $50 million dollars. Andrea claims Fox News was a crappy place for women to work and that there was a whole lot of sexual harassment happening. She’s pointing fingers too: Andrea alleges that Roger Ailes was joined in the Gross Boys Club by Bill O’Reilly and John Roberts.