Two years ago, a judge declared that Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams ripped off Marvin Gaye when making their date rape anthem “Blurred Lines.” The case is now officially done. And those dudes, who knew they were wrong in the first place, now have to collectively pay Marvin Gaye’s estate five MILLION dollars. And I hope you read that last part in Dr. Evil’s voice because that’s what I heard when I typed it.
Just in time to make us all think twice this Friday before we grab a glass bottle of vodka to pregame a night at the bar, more details are coming out about Robin Thicke’s upcoming baby with girlfriend April Love Geary. Everyone was a little confused the other day when April announced just six months after giving birth that she was expecting again. I’m still not healed from the last time I did a leg workout six months ago (coincidentally, the last time I went to the gym). Well, we’re finding out the new Thicke baby wasn’t exactly planned – April was on birth control when she got knocked up.
Us Weekly is reporting that April announced on Instagram (she is a millennial, after all) Wednesday, “I started birth control and then one morning I woke up nauseous.” I guess they weren’t fucking around when they try to scare you in middle school by saying you can still get STDs and pregnant (honestly, some might argue pregnancy is an STD…ok, I’ll let myself out) even if you wear condoms and take birth control. The medical experts Us Weekly keeps on retainer Googled their way to the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals’ website and reminded us all that only 0.1% of women properly taking the pill still get pregnant.
People reports April also revealed some sad news during the Instagram Q&A. She suffered a miscarriage before giving birth to her and Robin’s first child, Mia. She says she wasn’t scared or stressed out and that “life happens.” Good attitude to have when a drunk stork later ignores that “Do Not Disturb” sign on your front door in the form of birth control and still delivers a baby.
Alan Thicke died in December 2016 and you’d think seventeen months might be enough time for loved ones to fight over the deceased’s money and move on with their lives, but his widow Tanya Callau is still fighting over money with his sons Robin and Brennan Thicke.
Aspiring weed farmer Robin Thicke’s girlfriend April Love Geary, 22, gave birth to an unfortunate future custody battle on February 22. As expected, they named their daughter Mia Love Thicke on Feb 22, according to Instagram (and People). Something’s off about that name and it’s probably why the Michael Hunts of the world have already sent Mia sympathy bouquets. And then they sent her some more when they saw her mom’s tacky ass Valentine’s Day photo celebration on IG. In April’s defense, at least she wasn’t posing atop a hooptie inexplicably stuffed with flowers.
Repugnant papa Robin Thicke is about to be a parent again. Robin’s been out of the headlines for a minute after grossing us all out for months during his divorce and extra messy custody battle with Paula Patton. During those early, heady days of 2017, Robin and Paula had all their business up in our grills. Allegations of child abuse, spousal abuse, drug abuse and abuses against common decency were all flung in Robin’s direction, yet his girlfriend April Love Geary still thought it would be a good idea to seal the deal with Robin by putting a Thicke fetus up in her.
Robin Thicke and his older brother Brennan have been trying really hard to paint Alan Thicke’s widow Tanya Callau as a demon from Gold Digging Hell. They’ve accused her of threatening to call the tabloids unless the details of her prenup were changed, and have threatened to sue to keep her hands off Alan’s estate. Tanya shot back, accusing them of launching a smear campaign against her, and confessed that she and Alan were trying to have a child before he died.
Tanya’s lawyer Adam Streisand tells TMZ that the reason why Robin and Brennan are smearing Tanya’s name has nothing to do with wanting more from the estate; they’re just seeking revenge on her because she won’t let them grow pot at Alan’s Santa Barbara ranch. There’s a Growing Pains joke in there somewhere, I know it.