I’m so used to seeing Oprah Winfrey giving tons of high-energy excitement on the cover of O Magazine, that it’s a little weird to see her working such drabness on the cover of Vanity Fair’s annual Hollywood Issue. I know the theme of ever Hollywood Issue “Stars who forgot to pop an Ambien the night before and only got 2 hours of sleep,” and I’ll applaud Oprah for playing along. But you know there’s a part of her that wanted to drop Reese Witherspoon, rip off that black satin duvet cover to reveal a shimmering jewel-toned gown underneath, throw up her arms and crank a full-tooth smile behind a headline that reads “2018 Is Your Year To SHINE!”
Robert De Niro’s IMDB page is a real ride. The 70s start off high with Mean Streets, Taxi Driver and The Godfather II. It dips a little in the 80s after Raging Bull, but it gets high again in the 90s with Goodfellas, Cape Fear and Casino. Then it dips into a puddle of vomit in the 2000s with Little Fockers, Analyze That and Dirty Grandpa. Robert De Niro might be self-aware when it comes to the caliber of his recent films, and he allegedly reminded his wife Grace Hightower of it. And according to Bobby D, it’s all her fault!
Where were you when the whole damn Internet burned down yesterday? The Washington Post released video and audio of a 2005 conversation that crusty Betadine remnant and presidential hopeful Donald Trump had with Access Hollywood host and Ryan Seacrest Xerox copy Billy Bush in which he bragged about groping women.
The GLAAD Media Awards were on Saturday, and as you can see, Robert De Niro got to take home an award. For those of you wondering “Does the G in GLAAD stand for geriatric straights?“, they were actually recognizing Robert De Niro with the Excellence in Media Award for a documentary he produced about his father, Robert De Niro Sr. (who was gay) called Remembering the Artist. De Niro got to pick who presented him with his award, so he picked America’s cool best friend from summer camp Jennifer Lawrence. I guess Jinx the Cat was busy?
Last week, Robert De Niro tried really hard to defend his decision to screen an anti-vaccination documentary by noted anti-vaxxer Andrew Wakefield called Vaxxed: From Cover-up to Catastrophe at this year’s Tribeca Film Festival. Robert DeNiro confessed that he and his wife, Grace Hightower De Niro, are parents to an autistic son, and that Vaxxed was very personal to him. He claimed that the reason he pushed for Vaxxed to be included in this year’s film festival was because he was hoping it would promote a “discussion.” He followed that up by claiming that he wasn’t personally endorsing the film and that he isn’t an anti-vaxxer, two statements that made everyone reach for their “Why the fuck you lying?” memes.
However, it sounds like the majority of the conversations started by Vaxxed began with the words “Bobby NO“, because Robert De Niro has gone and erased it from the festival lineup. Robert De Niro released a statement to The Hollywood Reporter about pulling Vaxxed.
“My intent in screening this film was to provide an opportunity for conversation around an issue that is deeply personal to me and my family. But after reviewing it over the past few days with the Tribeca Film Festival team and others from the scientific community, we do not believe it contributes to or furthers the discussion I had hoped for.
The Festival doesn’t seek to avoid or shy away from controversy. However, we have concerns with certain things in this film that we feel prevent us from presenting it in the Festival program. We have decided to remove it from our schedule.”
He doesn’t get into what those “concerns” were. But I’m going to guess one of them was whether or not the Tribeca Film Festival website had enough space on their servers to handle all the “friendly” reminders that vaccines don’t cause autism that they’d be sure to get if they kept it in the documentary category.
Poor Robert De Niro though. How busted does a movie have to be that you can’t even get it screened at your own film festival? I suppose if he still really wanted it to be shown, he could invent a special category for it. “And the award for Best Feature-Length Film Based On An Email Forward Or Rambling Facebook Post goes to...”
What’s the point of getting old if you’re not going to fully embrace your “get off my lawn” phase of life and retire from giving a fuck? Robert De Niro obviously gets it, because he’s been on a cranky roll lately and is reading bitches left and right.
Robert De Niro recently quit an interview, because he didn’t like the interviewer’s “negative questions” and told her, “I’m not doing this, darling.” And at the WSJ. Innovator Awards in NYC on Wednesday night, he verbally took a chancleta to a tech dude who made a joke. Page Six says that Stewart Butterfield (yes, that’s the name of a real person and not the name of a rejected Bond villain from the 70s), who co-founded Flickr and the app Slack, won an award and during his speech, he joked that he was a “long way from San Francisco” after pointing out all the famous people in the room. Stewart Butterfield then pointed out De Niro in the audience and said:
“I watched ‘Godfather II’ on the plane . . . when you killed Don Fanucci, I liked that.”
Well, Robert De Niro didn’t like that. De Niro got up to the mic to present St. Angie Jolie with an award, and before he did that, he spanked a bitch:
“Whoever the last speaker was . . . I thought you were a bit condescending to us actors . . . celebrities. I’m gonna go on record with you just to say that. And I don’t give a fuck who you are.”
Stewart Butterfield missed a good opportunity to really twist up De Niro’s chonies by saying “You talkin’ to me?” from the audience. But Stewart Butterfield did tweet that he loved getting trash talked by De Niro.
Yeah, Robert De Niro needs to get all the way over himself since actors aren’t untouchable jewels who shouldn’t be joked about, but at the same time I love a delusional old crotchety coot. I just want to follow him around for 5 minutes, because in that 5 minutes I’m sure he’d verbally abuse a pigeon for looking at him wrong and he’d try to fist fight his shadow for standing too close to him.
With that being said, his “give us precious actors the respect we deserve” slap down would’ve been 100% perfect if he added a “darling” to the end of it.