When Robert Redford announced his retirement from acting last month, a million nostalgia laden hearts were broken. Now the hot grandaddy of the silver screen says he wishes he had never uttered such a proclamation because it probably isn’t true. Mieka’s Sundance Ranch retirement fantasies might not be happening anytime soon, because we will probably be seeing Robert ride on the big screen again. Hell, he may just cark it on set, for all we know!
My aunt keeps a Sundance catalog next to the shitter so I know all about Robert Redford. The Sundance Kid has recently announced that he’s planning on hanging up his overpriced slouchy, crocheted raffia cowboy hat with a turquoise nugget band, and is retiring from acting after one last job. After wrapping up The Old Man And The Gun, his latest, and possibly last film as an actor, Bob will be exiting stage left. He said he would do it, and now he is. Entertainment Weekly reports that “the 81-year-old actor confirmed he was making good on his 2016 claim that he was retiring from acting”.
Jane Fonda’s press tour for her new movie co-starring Robert Redford didn’t end when Jane gave us the Crinkled Brow That Launched a Thousand Ships on Megyn Kelly Today. Jane and Bob kept it moving and a few hours later they appeared on Entertainment Tonight Canada where Jane explained what was going through her mind when Megyn asked about her mug.
Well, at least when NBC finally gets their biggest tax write-off of the year (aka when they finally dump Megyn Kelly Today), we’ll have a glorious supercut of all of her guests making the face they made when they realized that they need to fire their publicist immediately for putting them on that awkward dumpster puddle of a show.
Last week we learned that in the near future, the fuck word in movies will be down 85% because Quentin Tarantino is planning to retire after his next two films are in the can. Today we learn that in the near future, pepaw hotness in movies will be down 99% (hey, will still have Harrison Ford and Rip Taylor) because Robert Redford is planning to retire after his next two films are in the can. Robert Redford has been making your granny’s clit quiver since the 1960s and he’s tired now. Your granny will have to look to another seasoned hot piece for fap material (see: Rip Taylor).