Kris Jenner is the patron saint of bad mothers. She is so bad, that Dina Lohan probably lets out a wet burp while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians before turning to her kids and yelling “At least I ain’t that bitch!”.
Now the rest of the world is finally ready to chuck Pimp Mama Kris and her stable of famewhores into the nearest dumpster next to the used condoms where they belong, because ratings for the show have been rapidly declining. It also doesn’t help that the romance between her son, Rob Kardashian, and the always elegant former Twerk Consultant, Blac Chyna, is on life support. What’s a pimp to do? Well, she’s decided to toss a couple dollars at Blac Chyna to make her stay with Rob! And since Chyna is used to having money thrown at her, it’s a totally acceptable and reasonable proposition.
Yesterday (in what I was hoping was the worse April Fool’s Day prank of life), it appeared that former lap dance associate Blac Chyna and sock magnate Rob Kardashian were trying to work through their differences after last month’s unnecessary drama. And, of course, by “work through their differences,” I mean get as much attention as possible to please their boss, Kris Jenner. Man, I tell you, Pimp Mama Kris be puttin’ in overtime with her pimping. She never misses an opportunity to have her employees shake and shimmy for the cameras. Continue reading
I don’t know for sure if that’s Blac Chyna’s face when she’s plotting her next diabolical move, but it seems like a completely appropriate reaction to the latest development in her fight against Tyga and Rob Kardashian.
Earlier this month, Chyna and Rob found themselves in the middle of an ugly custody battle. Most people don’t have the energy for one messy battle, but since Chyna thrives on drama, she’s gotten into a second one with Tyga. Chyna dragged Tyga on Snapchat, alleging he doesn’t pay child support. Now TMZ is saying that Chyna is afraid her kids’ fathers are teaming up to take her down. Don’t take it personally, Chyna – I’m sure they’re just taking orders from Pimp Mama Kris.
Sources tell TMZ that Tyga and Rob became close after Rob and Chyna’s relationship imploded. She now believes they’re ganging up and spreading lies about her. One such lie she heard was from Tyga. Sources say he was allegedly blabbing to his friends that Chyna called him recently and wanted to get back together.
TMZ says Chyna flipped out because that statement is about as real as her ass. She and Tyga rarely talk, and the only reason she called him was to demand he pay the nannies for their son, King. Tyga apparently misinterpreted the phone call and thought she wanted to talk about more than nannies (wink wink). Oh please, Tyga – YOU WISH. Literally the only reason anyone would call Tyga is to ask where their money is.
Here’s Tyga looking like a colorblind child who got dressed all by themselves while out shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday with Scott Disick.
Kris Jenner, the Shonda Rhimes of reality television (she’s a master when it comes to plotting), is prepping for a battle with Blac Chyna.
Since Chyna and Rob Kardashian aren’t together, it was time to cue the requisite custody battle for their daughter, Dream. Chyna, one of the more prominent visitors from “the world of the pole” (thanks again, Wendy Williams), reportedly doesn’t want dual custody with the E! channel’s version of Eeyore. Speaking of Disney, People says that the prototype for every single one of their villainesses is ready to help her frumpy son get what’s his.
ScarJo and French popcorn dude may be at the beginning of an ugly custody fight. Robin Thicke and Paula Patton are in the middle of an ugly custody fight. And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have taken their ugly custody fight behind closed doors. So since 2017 is the year of ugly custody fights, the Kartrashians are trying to get a piece of that “trend.” People says that Blac Chyna is planning to fight Rob Kartrashian for full custody of their 3-month-old daughter Dream Renee. They both obviously really care about the welfare of their child, and by that I mean they care about the welfare of their bank accounts and fame. It seems like no one really cares about the Kartrashians anymore, so Pimp Mama Kris has gotta do something to get back on top of the fame whore ladder. It’s either a messy custody battle, or sacrifice one of their own so that Lucifer can extend their relevancy. “Why is everyone looking at me?” – Scott
Hopefully Blac Chyna wasn’t cozied up too close. There aren’t enough Tide Pods on this earth to remove the makeup stain that would be left after making contact with her face.
Page Six says that Blac Chyna was seen “cozying up” to a guy at a Super Bowl viewing party at a private theater in Los Angeles on Sunday. The guy was not Rob Kardashian. A source claims that they were acting like a couple, and that at one point in the evening, Chyna’s new man had his hand in her lap.
This could mean one of two things. Either Chyna’s still taking a break from Rob, or it was just another scripted moment for the second season of Rob & Chyna. Page Six’s source points to the first one. They claim that Chyna was overheard talking about her relationship with Rob at the party, saying that she’s talking to him, but they’re not living together. That sounds like they’re broken up. The weird thing is that Rob wished Chyna a happy 1-year anniversary just a week ago on Instagram. So who even knows what the hell is happening there. I’m sure if I tune in to E! I’ll eventually find out.
Blac Chyna was also allegedly heard telling people at the party that she was “faded“. There is a chance she wasn’t deliberately cheating. Maybe she was just super drunk and saw a dude with dark hair who smelled like cheeseburgers and she thought it was Rob. And even if that’s not the case, I don’t blame her for her actions. If someone asked me to leave my house to watch four boring hours of football, the first thing I’d do is get faded too.